Alec Baldwin's wife, Hilaria Baldwin I really have no idea why. What am I missing? Does anyone even talk about Alec Baldwin anymore? Unless it involves the phrase "assault and battery" or "stuffs his face" my guess is no. But I guess she does yoga so I suppose it worked on me because I clicked on the story to look at an attractive bendy woman doing bendy yoga things. Later, maybe she'll fire up that EZ Bake oven and cook up some gluten free muffins or whatever the hell it is these yoga hippies eat.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
David Charvet but I forgot which ceremony because I closed the tab before I wrote this and I'm not searching for it again so this story might go off the rails pretty quick. I have a good excuse though. I didn't look for the story because I have other more important things to do. For instance, I'd like to mention to Brooke that I'm 6'1 and since Brooke is 5'7 it appears her husband is around 5'10? Maybe? In case she ever reads this I'd also bring up the fact that don't have a faux-hawk. I will freely admit that I don't own a tuxedo but let's not get all highfalutin just yet okay miss big shot? I said I'd get one okay get off my back.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Australian super model Elyse Taylor hassome advice for you if you want to take the perfect selfie and it's pretty simple.
Filter everything!Gee thanks for that Earth shattering advice Elyse I never would've thought of that. I've seen some girls profile pictures that are so filtered they look like a goddamn cartoon. I'm not even sure I'd recognize them if I saw them in person. And there was another Australian that thought you should filter everything to fool people. That's right it was Hitler. Or maybe that was Austria. I'm not sure now I can't know everything if you want answers why don't you try reading a book.
through three rounds of tryouts for the X Factor in the UK and she says because of it she was "grassed up" whatever the hell that means. I assume it means kicked off.
Becky, who according to her IMDB profile has starred in ten porn films and adult TV series, explains: 'I know X Factor is a family show, but porn shouldn't define who I am. I was never going to put on a sex show for Simon.'As far as porn stars go she's okay I guess. I was going to post a different picture but they're all either very sexually explicit -- which I actually don't mind so much -- or they're her in the back of limos doing the sideways peace sign with a crooked baseball hat making a kissy face and I don't want anything that disgusting on my blog.
Monday, July 27, 2015
wisdom to dispense which I'm sure she thought of as she was leaving her $2.7 million dollar house in her $137,000 car
'That's what's wrong with today. If you don't show or "prove" to social media that you've done something it's like it never happened,'And
'My reality is.. I only show people what I want them to see. No one knows what goes on in my day to day but me & who I share my moments with,' she added.Don't worry we all know how private your life is. And of course she tweeted these thoughts to her 10.5 million followers. Thanks for the life advice Kylie. Now maybe if I can ride my sister's sex tape coattails into fame and fortune I can put it all into practice. Wait my sister has a sex tape? What have you heard?
Thursday, July 23, 2015
stopped reading the story once I found his name. Isn't he adorable? And those abs! And since he's 29 years old and a part of the new generation of men he probably builds furniture in his spare time, wears his hair up in a bun, and will talk to you about his feelings until you want to claw his fucking eyes out. Oh sure you'll have to call your dad to come help you when you get a flat tire but Joe will be there waiting for you when you get home. Maybe he'll be working on a poem, stir frying some beans or cleaning the tub or something.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Eva Longoria was interviewed by the Daily Mail Australia on Wednesday for the sole purpose of making you feel bad about yourself
'Let me tell you, I love my forties - I want my twenty-year-old body - but I love my forties,' the Texan star told Daily Mail Australia on Wednesday.I've seen pictures of Eva when she was in her 20's and I'll be honest I don't really see much of a difference. I guess whoever said life begins at 40 was right. Hell I remember Eva's 38th birthday like it was just yesterday. Frankly, Eva could've been responsible for a continent wide genocide when she was in her 20's and I'd pretty much forgive her for it today as long as she keeps wearing that grey dress.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
While playing some kind of game with Jimmy Fallon - unfortunately it wasn't Russian Roulette - Tina Fey admitted to once being mistaken for a prostitute
Tina revealed that there was an odd quiet vibe in the casino with 'weird Europeans gambling' and they ended up being the youngest people in the establishment.
The 30 Rock star elaborated more saying: 'Then this older gentleman came over and was like "I would like to buy the two of you dinner in this restaurant here." And it was like this weird restaurant in the back and my cousin was like "yeah," but I was like "I don't think it's a good idea."Being the sexy man that I am I will never understand why people pay for sex. In fact just this morning I was out jogging with my shirt off and it was a mob scene. I was like, "Can't you women leave me alone for 30 goddamn minutes while I run 5 miles and work on my abs?" But I have to admit in Tina's case I wouldn't be able to get my wallet out fast enough. Maybe next time I'm in Monaco waiting for Elle to finish getting ready I'll look her up. Don't Worry Tina I'll keep it quiet I wouldn't want all those jealous women coming after you.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Jennifer Lawrence has permanently cemented her place as the Whitest Girl in the Universe by getting an adorable "H2O" tattooed on her hand. What's the matter, were they all out of little mustaches or Shhhh....'s for her finger? But it turns out it's actually worse than that because it's incorrect.
I call this tattoo a watered-down rebellion,” she told HitFix. “I was with Liam’s family and everybody was getting tattoos. And I was like, ‘Well, I’m always going to need to be hydrated.’ So I guess I should just get H2O on my hand.” But the 24-year-old actress was well aware that there was a major error with the skin-colored tattoo on her right hand.
“By the way, I know the ‘2’ is high, and in H2O the ‘2’ is supposed to be low,” she explained of the mistake with her ink. I should have Googled it before I got it tattooed on my body,Gee you think? How does this happen? I'm no tattoo artist but I have a bunch of tattoos and almost no matter where you go it's always done pretty much the same way. First you have to have the idea, then you talk to the tattoo artist and they tell you whether or not it's a good idea, then the tattoo person draws it on that weird tracing paper, then they stick it to your body and tell you to look at it and make sure you like it. Wouldn't an error get caught somewhere along the way? Tattoo artists are usually smarter than most college graduates I know so blaming it on the artist won't fly with me. Sorry Jennifer but I'm afraid there's only one way to resolve this and it's amputation. I hope you like having a hook there instead of a hand which oddly I think that would be kind of cool.
This isn't about making fun of a celebrity, but c'mon someone is heaving hundreds of dildos over power lines in Portland...
The large white and bright orange dildos appear to have been strung together in pairs, and have prompted numerous reports to the Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement, department spokeswoman Lisa Leddy said on Monday.In some cities tossing running shoes over power lines used to mean that's a spot where you could buy drugs but dildos? What could that mean that isn't completely horrifying? And hundreds? The very first thing I thought was, "Jesus aren't those things kind of expensive?" And my second one is, when did your mom move to Portland? She's got a pretty good arm.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Eric Stonestreet. And I'll be honest, he's the most Eric looking guy I've ever seen. I can only imagine how they met because there are only two possibilities. He's the cable guy they sent to her house when she couldn't figure out how to hook up her wireless router, or he bumped into her at a sports bar after getting his fourth plate of Atomic Buffalo Wings during the basketball finals. I hope you like washing really big underwear Bethenny because I bet there's going to be a lot of that in your future.
Monday, July 13, 2015
As recently as April 18, 2014, rapper and noted financial whiz kid 50 Cent had an estimated personal net worth of somewhere around $140 million dollars. That number has since been reduced a bit beginning July 13, 2015 to $0
In court papers filed in the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Hartford, Conn., Mr. Jackson reported assets and debts each in the range of $10 million to $50 million.Hey easy come, easy go right? I have absolutely no idea how you could blow through $140 million dollars in a single lifetime. I somehow manage to survive on the change people drop by accident at toll booths and a complicated series of transactions involving blood and sperm donations. If you want financial advice from me I'd say trust me and be careful not to get those two appointments mixed up.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
It's weird I wonder why she didn't use one of these pictures instead...
Just one of life's mysteries I guess.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Nicky getting married to some billionaire named Rothschild which I'm pretty sure is a fake name from a TV show. I love the look on Paris' face. She's 35 years old, unmarried and nearing the time mother nature says "HOLD IT! NO BABIES FOR YOU!" Mother nature can be a real bitch like that. You can tell by how Paris looks like somebody just told her her dog died that even she has a biological clock and it's probably ticking like a goddamn hydrogen bomb by now while her younger sister is getting married to some guy I'm pretty sure she'll poison later and make the whole thing look like an overdose. You heard it here first folks Nicky Hilton is a murderer. Congratulations on your wedding Black Widow.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Ariana Grande was surprised to find out they make donuts in a donut shop. Here's the TMZ link if you're interested in reading about this there instead so go ahead who fucking needs you?
Ariana Grande burned herself badly in that donut shop ... by bashing fat Americans, and now many people think that's why she's bailing on a huge concert event...
...an employee brought out a tray of oversized donuts, and Ariana blurted ... "What the fukk is that? I hate Americans. I hate America.Um, wasn't she IN a donut shop? What did she think they were making in there, Che Guevara t-shirts? She was saying that to impress her head band wearing vato wannabe boyfriend. And anyway, you know what? They all say stuff that. She's a 22 year old moron. They think it's edgy and original and they all think they're the first ones to say stuff like that. What the fuck does she know?
As recently as 2011 she she was probably a high school junior that didn't have a single thought in her head beyond going to Forever XXI and Discovery Clothes "for that big party at Kevin's house his parents are totally out of town!". There are probably 10 million Airiana Grandes wandering around that think all Americans are fat, and stupid when in fact, she's the idiot that probably still thinks "like John Lennon is like the greatest songwriter ever" and posts George Carlin memes all over her Facebook page.
And hey if nothing else they can start planning the Ariana Grande/Carly Rae Jepsen tour now