Monday, November 30, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
Thursday, November 26, 2015
filed for divorce from her husband of 31 years. I don't think the story I quickly skimmed and then linked says why but if I had to make up some reasons I'd say they were so she could spend more time painting landscapes, washing her Prius, and paying attention to her 13 cats (she's keeping them in the divorce). I've already written four NO! five letters to her so you better stay out of my way if you know what's good for you.
met for lunch to discuss the alphabet soup that is their names. You know, just to make sure they have all the spellings straight. Maybe next time they can meet Zha Zha Gabor in Addis Ababa for dinner. And I promise that idiot has never heard a Social Distortion song and if I ever run into him I'll beat his ass just for owning it.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Entertainment Weekly's Entertainer of the Year and to celebrate she dressed up like a spooky ghost hitchhiker and attended the "Samsun The Hunger Ga Mocking Part 2" or something somewhere. Do you think she just sat there stone faced riding in silence staring straight forward out the windshield all the way to the theater? I wonder if the person that gave her a ride realizes what he's done by bringing her there and fulfilling the prophecy.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Monday, November 23, 2015
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Sophia Vergara got married on Saturday to some guy from a Just For Men-Touch of Gray commercial and I guess it's true that women like men with just a touch of gray. It shows they're experienced enough to know what they're doing, yet young enough to do it. I'm not sure what "it" is but I bet they're probably talking about sex as opposed to say mowing the lawn or cleaning the gutters yet I bet if most women were honest they'd probably say they prefer you to do yard work. The story I linked includes a video of him singing to her but that's to embarrassing for me to watch so I didn't. I bet his friends put him up to that just so they could call him a fag and years after they get divorced they can blackmail him with the video.
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Christmas came a month early for me this morning when I found out Kate Beckinsale is finally divorcing that dork Johnny Weissmuller, or Lou Weinstein or whatever the Hell his name is. I don't know his name and I really don't care
A source close to the couple tells PEOPLE that Beckinsale and Wiseman have been separated for several months.Gee that's really a shame. Listen Kate, I know this is probably a rough time for you, but I just want you know I'm here if you just want to hang out and talk. I'm a really good listener. I can come over and bring some movies if you like. And maybe a little wine and a few candles too you know, so the lights don't hurt your eyes if you're crying a little bit. Just let me know I'll be your rock.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
follow me here it's easier for me and that's the important thing.
Monday, November 16, 2015
some other dude. Hey man, listen. Your band sucked but you know what? I'm a dude too so I get it. Just come on over and we'll get you fixed up in some decent clothes from somewhere other than Express For Men or Merry-Go-Round or wherever the hell it is you bought that crap.
here. since that's probably what you like anyway. Don't worry me and Liz will just be over here talking and enjoying each other's company and we won't be judging you at all. We'll be far too busy for that.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Orange is the New Black "star" Ruby Rose was at some asinine MMA match looking like a scary ventriloquist's dummy. I'm not a millionaire so I don't have HBO but I can only assume Orange is the New Black is a show where she murders people at night while they're asleep like all ventriloquist dummies do. That's why she's wearing those running shoes so you don't hear her little wooden feet pitter-pattering across the floor as she sneaks out from under your bed in the dark.
Monday, November 9, 2015
free from Hepatitis C
I am CURED!!! – I just found out #nomorehepc #thankyou #blessing #family #prayer #live," Anderson, 48, wrote. "I pray anyone living with Hep C can qualify or afford treatment. It will be more available soon. I know treatment is hard to get still...#dontlosehopeI don't know if any of this is true but it's a chance I might be willing to take so go ahead and call me again Pam I probably won't even ask for proof.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
fancy dress ball that Salma Hayek attended with her ogre boyfriend, or husband or whatever he is, but of course being Gwyneth Paltrow she accidentally put on the dress that somebody made for her dog. Right now her dog is probably walking around in a $22,000 dress refusing to walk on the grass without shoes and probably smacking around a chihuahua for looking at him when he specifically asked that other dogs avert their eyes. Nice racist dog you have there you jerk.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
spotted holding hands at Jared Leto's Halloween party and that better not be a euphemism for anything if Marc Selton knows what's good for him
"Blake and Gwen are going through similar situations," says a Shelton insider, who adds that the duo "are flirty." "They have spent time together and have drawn support from each other."Just stay away from her Ed Singleton if you know what's good for you or they'll be burying you in that table cloth your wearing.