Sydney the Ring Girl gets Famous AND IS NUDE

 Sydney Something is trying to make the adjustment to sudden "fame" after she was the ring girl for the Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson fight which I'd already forgot even happened. Don't worry, as attractive as you are, your "fame" is going to be very, very short lived so don't get adjusted too fast. I accidentally closed the source story too quickly less than five minutes ago and I already forgot your last name. 

I'm not trying to be mean but if you think you're the only cute blonde with big tits and nice abs you need to scroll Instagram or any random porn site for about 10 minutes some day, so I hope you're super cool or something on top of all of your physical attractiveness.

!!!SEXY UPDATE!!! 

I just spent multiple minutes scrolling around looking for the original story so I could link it for you guys but I can't find it now. If you want to know more about her, just type "Sydney Ring Girl" or something into Google. Let me know what you find if you feel like it although it's not really necessary.

Jason Momoa Update

Remember Jason Momoa? Boy I sure do. Well here he is again doing something for SNL. I'm sure glad I get these once yearly updates about what Jason Momoa is doing. His girlfriend is cute. I guess. Way to go dude. He's probably cool. Maybe he isn't honestly I don't care one way or the other

Brooks Nader is 29 going on 40

 I was sort of flipping around looking at various "news" when I saw something about a television show called The White Lotus. It's the latest bottom of the barrel kind of garbagey tripe you people get obsessed with for some reason, and they mentioned model Brooks Nader along with a lot of other people that are in it that I've also never heard of. 

Anyway I thought Brooks Nader was hot so I looked her up and here's an interesting stat. They said she's 29. I literally gasped when I saw that. You know why? Because Brooks Nader- as hot as she it - hasn't been 29 since probably 2011. I'll say again what I've said 100 times. I don't care if she's 29 or 69 but this kind of lie is an infuriating insult to the intelligence of anyone that has an even half-functional brain. It's not important you say? It was important enough for the original story to mention it, I'm just a counter-point. And by the way, I've been correct before.

Oh wait a minute I just found out The White Lotus has Sydney Sweeney in it too. Maybe I should be watching this is what I would say if I was a mental patient. Anyway, Happy future birthday Brooks, whenever you say that is. 

Taylor Swift. The Lady in Red

 Taylor Swift was also at the Grammys. She's hot, right? Her music is mediocre and forgettable on it's best day, but you people are morons that lap this shit up like a stray cat that hasn't eaten in three days so they keep making more.

Like I said I didn't watch this shit show so a bomb could have gone off that blew off Bono's wig and I wouldn't know it.

Sheryl Crow Alive. Still Hot

 Sheryl Crow was at the Grammys last night. Why? I don't have the first idea. I forgot they still did the Grammys so I don't understand who could possibly give a shit about the Grammys in this day and age. Like I said, I forgot they were on, I forgot they existed, and I have no idea why Sheryl Crow was there. I haven't heard or thought about Sheryl Crow in almost 30 years. I also didn't realize Sheryl Crow was 63 years old. She's still hot so she could be 73 for all I care.

But at 63 years old why do you give a shit about this crap. You have an estimated net worth of $70 million dollars, why aren't you in a garden somewhere feeding butterflies with milkweed or whatever 63 year old multi-millionaires do. I know exactly ONE Sheryl Crow song so I have no idea how she managed to bank $70 million dollars off of that, who is buying all of these albums? The Chinese government that's who

Jessica Simpson Takes a Pass

Jessica Simpson wore a bikini to "show off her revenge body" after her split from "Eric Johnson". Did she show him what he's missing? 

Eric Johnson and Jessica Simpson were married for 10 years and have three kids together. Being the only male in the room, I can promise you Eric Johnson knows exactly what he's missing. I'm making up this scenario in my head but it's pretty easy to imagine... 

He's missing a brain dead idiot who most likely was passed out at the kitchen island by 2 pm every day. And if she did bother to wake up and brush her hair she probably took day time cold medicine to stay awake long enough to mix a few more drinks. Allegedly. All of that is just a guess of course. Go ahead and guess, give it a try.

REESE WITHERSPOON GOES TO WAR

 Are Reese Witherspoon and Kate Winslet feuding? Why don't you read this story and let me know.  Of all the things I don't care about, I care about this the least. I don't normally think about Reese Witherspoon and haven't since Legally Blonde in 2001. And when I hear "Kate Winslet" I assume she's in another period drama about The Irish Republican Army or something set in the UK the 1940s or 1950s where everyone drives around in British taxi cabs and she wears a shawl or something. 

 If anything a fight between these two might actually make them less boring