Monday, June 29, 2015

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Rose McGowan Hates Sexism

Rose McGowan who I think looks pretty smokin' with short hair, says her agent fired her when she spoke out against being asked to audition for a part in a top that showed off her cleavage...

I'm going to be totally sexist and tell you I long ago added her to my list of women over 40 I'd buy ribbon candy for, especially after I saw her doing this totally not sexist thing...

I don't really know how to end this I was just using this story as an excuse to post that video so I'll just say Marry Me Rose McGowan!  I bet she'll see this and come running and honestly who wouldn't?

Courtney Love Hates France

Courtney Love was caught up in some anti-Uber protest because people in France are usually grumpy after they wake up from their siesta or whatever the fuck it is they do there after they have their lunch wine. But that's not what this is about because the French suck and they could melt down the Eiffel Tower and use the steel to build more mosques for all I care I don't have to live there. No this is a warning against doing drugs because Courtney Love is 50.

Know who else is 50? The following people:

                              51                                        51                                          53

Sometimes it's not the age it's the mileage. I would kick your grandmother down the stairs to have sex with Sandra Bullock or Gina Gershon. And don't even ask what I'd do for both at once. Of course things would be different if I thought that Janice the bass player from the Muppet Band was hot then I'd probably be all over Courtney Love.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

George Takei Talks About Stuff

George Takei blathered on some more about some stupid feud he's involved in with William Shatner but seriously who gives a shit. I needed something easy to write about because I didn't feel like writing anything at all so I picked this because who fucking cares. I looked for pictures to post but lost interest about 10 seconds in so I just stole the picture from the link. If People Magazine doesn't like they can come get me. Maybe they can give me a Vulcan neck rub or whatever the fuck Spock up there does to people.

Kourtney Kardashian is a Fitness Guru

The Daily Mail says Kourtney Kardashian weighs 116 pounds again and I've never been so excited.
She jumped on the treadmill and lifted weights to get toned a source said of the 36 year old. "And she drank a special kind of tea"
 A special magical weight loss tea? What'll they think of next. C'mon. She's 5 feet tall. I know some 5 foot tall 110-ish pounders and that ain't her. Maybe they're just talking about her huge freak ass. That thing probably weighs 116 pounds all by itself. Or it's possible they're using the scale of what she would weigh on the moon because of it's lower gravity. Maybe she could do that thing where you drop a feather and a bowling ball and guess which one lands first, or she could jump way up in the air. It even looks like she's wearing her moon boots so the timing is perfect.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Lady Gaga is on Vacation

Lady Gaga was on a much needed break this weekend in the Bahamas and while she was there she tried out her new look called Hard Rock Casino Pool Side Skank. I think it looks good!

Dave Grohl Breaks Leg. Is Hero.

 Dave Grohl broke half of his legs after falling into a security pit during a show in Gothenburg, Sweden. But like the rock n' roll trooper he is he carried on. Kind of like all those guys on D-Day I guess.
But it didn't faze him. "You have my promise right now that the Foo Fighters, we're gonna come back and finish this show." He added, "But right now, I'm gonna go to the hospital, I'm gonna fix my leg. But then I'm gonna come back, and we're gonna play for you again! I'm so sorry!
On site medical personnel patched him up and rushed him back on stage so he could continue rockin'. And boy you better believe they finished the show alright. By playing for another TWO AND A HALF HOURS. Jesus. I'll be honest I couldn't imagine two and a half hours of The Foo Fighters but hey that's show biz. The show must go on and all that. What a champ. But what I want to know is, what about the audience that sat through an entire Foo Fighters concert? Those are the real heroes.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Salma Hayek Doesn't Work Out

Salma Hayek and her tits told People Magazine she never works out
Some people have the discipline to exercise in the morning, and I didn’t develop that. I don’t have time to exercise. I am working,” she says. “I’ve had some 20-hour days.”
Sure.  I bet she'd find a gym real quick if she ballooned up like Marlon Brando or they had to break out a wall to get her to her doctor's appointment, and her billionaire husband found someone half her age and also half her size   But seriously I don't care if she works out as long as the woman in that picture is the end result. And I also don't care if she's 28 or 48 she's exactly the kind of woman I'd build in my garage if I had the ability and if I wasn't told to stay away from the cemetery by that guy with the rake.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Ingrid Nilson is Gay Now

Big news! Ingrid Nilson is Gay. I had no idea who Ingrid Nilson was until about 10 minutes ago so congratulations on your big announcement. Now I can go back to not knowing who you are I guess.

Jennifer Aniston is Happy

People Magazine asked Jennifer Aniston what's the best thing that's happened to her in her 40's and of course she lied and said Justin Thorax. What else could she do? I mean he was probably standing right there.
"Justin," the actress, 46, says of fiancé Justin Theroux. "He's the best thing this decade."
Justin Thelonius is the best thing to happen to you? There's no way she can know this. What does Justin Thesaurus have that I don't? Millions of dollars? A running motorcycle? Abs? Cool hair? A real career?  Pretty shallow of you Jen I thought you were different. I really thought we had something.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Goodbye Bruce Hello Caitlyn

 I just got the new People Magazine and it made me wonder why no one saw all this Caitlyn business coming 35 years ago when he was walking around with that Dorothy Hamil haircut.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Megan Fox is Okay

Megan Fox wore a blonde wig and dressed up in an outfit that I like to call Male Fantasy No. 1 during the filming of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 which I just bought tickets for.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Bruce Jenner is Caitlyn Now

So Bruce Jenner is Caitlyn now.

After undergoing hours of facial-feminization surgery, breast augmentation and hormone therapy, Bruce Jenner has revealed a new identity and name in the latest issue of Vanity Fair, which shows a large photo of Jenner as a woman with the caption “Call Me Caitlyn.
Whatever I don't really care. It's his life. It seems like after helping spawn the idiocy that is the Kardashian idiots this seems pretty low on the scale of evil. The thing is, whenever I read a story about this people are calling him "her". Okay Mr. Twenty-first Century, if you're so progressive, have sex with "her".  Well? hat are you waiting for?

And here's something I never thought I'd type into Google...

I didn't search images I just don't need that in my life right now.

Apple I Sold

I have no idea if this is Steve Jobs and I don't really care.
A woman recycled an old computer in California and lo and behold it was worth $200,000

The Apple 1 computer was one of about 200 first-generation computers put together by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak in 1976.
"She said, 'I want to get rid of this stuff and clean up my garage,'" Victor Gichun, vice president of Clean Bay Area... "I said, 'Do you need a tax receipt?' and she said, 'No, I don't need anything.' The recycling firm sold the Apple I this month for $200,000 to a private collection, Vice President Victor Gichun said.
 $200,000? Hey don't ask me. Leave it to someone to pay way to much for something just because it was made by Apple. 

Sharon Stone Wants Me Again

Sharon Stone says men are intimidated by her sexy reputation:
 ''I wish more guys would throw themselves at me. But not really. I think people believe the story that I'm sexy, and now people are afraid of me. I think people so buy into whatever you tell them that they bought the myth, they bought the story. I think in reality I'm much more like the girl with the big clothes and the bag of books but people bought the story that I'm a sex symbol. So guys don't throw themselves at me, they run away from me.''
Ummm. this isn't what you told me Sharon. All those flowers, the hundreds of letters written by painstakingly cutting all those words out of  newspapers, and showing up in your hallway that night and now you want men to throw themselves at you? Geez I know women can be fickle but this is ridiculous. By the way that letter the judge gave me expires in 90 days so give me a call.