Wednesday, May 23, 2018

The Times They Are a Changin'

I'm starting to lose interest writing about celebrity dumbshits all the time. They're usually awful human beings and except for a few of the ones that I actually like, I usually can't stand even the sight of them. And reading what they have to say about pretty much anything makes me physically ill. Anyway, I'll keep doing it when I feel like it I guess, or if I see something that I think is ridiculous but I don't know maybe I'll mix it up a little. I'll still keep the blog probably 90% as it is but this shit is getting old and tired. Kind of like Pamela Anderson. And I've done this kind of thing in the past so maybe we'll see I really don't know. Anyway, click the video and listen to one of my all time favorite songs while I look for some dimwit to write about.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Angela Bassett Went to the Pool

Angela Bassett went to the pool and posted proof of said visit on her Instagram. Ummmm...what else can I say? Yes? Okay, yes please. She's 59 years old you know. Not that it matters obviously it's just an observation.

Georgia Fowler is Barely Legal

Georgia Fowler was photographed by the pool at the Eden Roc Hotel in Cap d'Antibes Blah Blah on Saturday. She's yet another Victoria's Secret Angel model or whatever they are. I suppose all kinds of models are needed especially if they need one that looks like an 11 year old with a head the size of a baseball and a small teenager face that looks gross in a bikini. Don't forget your floaties Reggie or whatever your name is.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Jennifer Aniston Lesbian

Jennifer Aniston is one half of a lesbian couple in a new Netflix show called "First Ladies". I'll be honest that's pretty much all I know so far because as soon as I saw "Jennifer Aniston Lesbian" I pretty much had hysterical blindness. Her costar is Tig Notaro (?). I guess she's the one in the picture that looks like Carl Sagan but I've never heard of her.

That's one of the biggest problems I have with the internet. Everyone expects everyone else to know who everyone is all the time. "You don't know who Tig Notaro is?! You must be an uncouth jackass then." Anyway, despite the first few sentences here I'll never watch the show because I don't have a Netflix account and most likely never will. And I can watch actual lesbians on the internet if I want to. They're in a folder on my computer marked "motorcycle parts"

Taylor Swift was at NBC

It's long been my theory that women get better looking after age 30. Taylor Swift is almost 30. And so there's photographic proof. If you have proof to the contrary try showing your mom I bet she'd be interested.  Good lord she's all legs. And she's 5'10. Okay everyone relax, let's try to keep this from getting too weird. Anyway, there she is after winning two Billboard Music Awards for something last night, probably music, but I didn't even know they were happening so really she could have won for almost anything. Did she win for being a leggy 5'10 inch woman? She's already won the lifetime achievement award for that in my heart.

Sophia Vergara is a Fighter

Sophia Vergara was pictured leaving the local aquarium after she fell into the piranha tank. Ripped jeans don't look good on anybody. Period.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Elsa Hosk Needs Space

I looked for a few stories to write about but there's some wedding going on somewhere and it's pretty much the only thing anyone is talking about. I don't care about people that I don't know getting married but whatever keeps all those dullards busy for a while is just fine with me. I did see some paparazzi pictures of Elsa Hosk who I may or may not have written about before when she was doing something Earth-shatteringly important I'm sure, only this time apparently she's been captured and is currently being acclimated into the giraffe enclose at the Cincinnati Zoo. I hope they're careful with her, despite their size,  they're really gentle fragile creatures. Best of luck in your new home Eli.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Ryan Reynolds is Exciting

Ryan Reynolds was at an airport. Maybe he was helping people with their bags who knows. I only posted this for the ladies that might stop by here by accident because I know they like him, although why I will never understand. He seems terribly dull, in almost every way, but I'm a dude so what do I know. Women are a bunch of weirdos anyway. Were you ever in a mall or a grocery store and you see a hot girl walk by on her way to meet someone and she walks up to the fat, unshaven loser in the camouflage baseball hat? I mean what the fuck? So don't bother explaining Ryan Reynold's appeal to me because I'll never make any sense of it.

Is Labyrinth Getting a Stage Adaptation?

This news is at least a month old, but to me it's new and that news is that the movie Labyrinth is returning to theaters and may get a stage adaptation
In an interview with Forbes writer Simon Thompson, Jim Henson’s son Brian Henson has also revealed that there is a stage adaption of Labyrinth in the works. “Not necessarily Broadway, it could be for London’s West End, but it will be a stage show, a big theatrical version,” he explained. “It’s very exciting.” Henson also discussed the long-awaited Labyrinth sequel. “We’re still excited about the idea of a sequel, we are working on something but nothing that’s close enough to say it’s about to be in pre-production or anything like that.”
 I saw this movie a time or two like a million years ago and it doesn't seem all that memorable to me. I don't really understand all of the love for this mediocre puppet movie but I have a feeling it's because of maudlin, overly dramatic David Bowie fans, as if there were a different kind. But hey whatever it's not my money. If someone wants to throw away millions of dollars making a play I'm never going to see more power to them I guess.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Brooklyn 99 (?) Got Cancelled

If you're really, really upset that a television program got cancelled, there's a gaping hole in your life and you need to sit down and think about what's happening to you.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Elsa Pataky Wears Red

The usually unbelievably hot Elsa Pataky wore a red garbage bag and terrible shoes to some pointless event somewhere. Are you guys getting tired of this blog yet? Because I sort of am.

Stella Maxwell is Wooden

Stella Maxwell and her chicken legs were at the Cannes Film Festival doing whatever it is Stella Maxwell does. She was probably there reminding people what a popsicle stick would look like if you nailed a couple of water balloons to it.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Kyle Richards Isn't Who You Think They Are

This story was about how Kyle Richards bought a new house but I thought Kyle Richards was the guy in that picture so now none of what I was going to say will make any sense. All I know is I can't stop looking at that guy's red shoes. And no I don't think it has an amusement park attached but I guess you never know. I'm not your mother, try reading the story if you want to know.

Kanye West is Dumb. Who knew.

 
 
 "When you hear about slavery for 400 years ... For 400 years? That sounds like a choice. You were there for 400 years and it's all of y'all. It's like we're mentally imprisoned."
 The secret to battling Kanye West's way of thinking is to not listen to anything celebrities have to say at all about anything ever

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Kylie Jenner Had a Baby

Kylie Jenner had a baby and she named it Stormi Webster. What did you think, she was going to name her after, Marie Curie?

Jessica Simpson is Disheveled

Jessica Simpson posted this selfie of her in her closet looking like she's going to a Halloween party dressed as a shipwreck survivor, or maybe she just fell down the stairs. Jessica Simpson is always walking that very thin line between being the hot girl with big boobs and the fat girl that would be hot if she lost weight.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Halsey is a Hero

 The next big battle for civil rights is about to take place. The battle for free hotel shampoo. You see, Halsey is upset about it because it doesn't work well on black people's hair. I don't know, maybe I've been looking at the wrong Halsey this whole time (see above image). The whole thing is ludicrous. This is how little everyone has to worry now. Things are so good overall that people can complain about free, travel sized hotel shampoo.

 Women tend to not die giving birth in a barn anymore, 13 year olds aren't shoveling coal into a blast furnace in a factory 14 hours a day, you most likely won't die from a broken leg and no one is asking 17 year olds to invade a beach covered by German machine gun fire. So the next big battle is hotel shampoo. This is all despite the fact that there's probably a Walgreen's within walking distance of just about any hotel located in any major city that actually sells shampoo Their website lists 769 items, most just a couple of bucks. Hey, here's an idea you can be a real hero. Buy some and leave it for the next person.You can label them. One for White People Only, and one for Blacks. Godspeed mighty warriors. Godspeed.

Friday, April 27, 2018

Jennifer Lawrence has a Car

I was looking for a picture of something else, what I don't remember now, and I stumbled across this picture of Jennifer Lawrence putting gas in her white Volkswagen. The fact that she owns a white Volkswagen doesn't surprise me in the least since the white Volkswagen seems to be issued to all, dull, standard, upper middle class white women on their 16th birthday.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Gwyneth Paltrow Inspires Me

Gwyneth Paltrow was at the "Avengers: Invasion Force" - at least I think that's what it's called - premier WITHOUT HER NEW HUSBAND and I know I make fun of her a lot but I'm beginning to rethink my attitude. I'm just going to come right out and say it holy shit she's fucking hot. She's 45 years old, do you know what that means? You don't have to put up with all the usual bullshit that's what. That's not like dating some 26 year old who's biological clock is ticking like an atomic bomb while all of her college friends are getting married next year (even that whore Kathy) at that cute place with the fountain and the peacocks. Seriously Gwyneth it's all in good fun. You know, it's just shenanigans because I'm fun loving. I'm also a hard worker and I try to keep myself in shape plus I can fix stuff around the house. You know in case things don't work out with Danny or whatever your new ex-husbands name is.

Gemma Collins Exercises

Gemma Collins is on some British reality show called TOWIES(?) No I'm not sure either. Anyway the title of this was literally "Gemma Collins Shows off her Cleavage and Slimmed Down Figure". "Slimmed down" could mean something else in the UK I suppose. Like how they call an elevator a lift or a car hood a bonnet and fries are known as chips. Maybe Slimmed down is metric as in metric ton.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Jamie Foxx Raps at You

Creep Jamie Foxx performed at Coachella which by my estimation goes on for six months. I don't know what he performed, Shakespeare soliloquies? A loving tribute to Lawrence Olivier? No. I assume he probably rapped. Do you know how I know that? The bottle of expensive champagne and the thick gold necklace that's how. Those two things -- along with a Chrysler 300 -- are issued to you upon graduating from Rap School. I don't know much about rap music so I can't review his performance so let's just call it terrible.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Look at Heidi Klum's Butt

Remember when I mentioned Heidi Klum's butt? Well, there it is. She posted it on her Instagram, Pretty cool right? Normally I cover up the asinine comments left on these pictures with screen caps of people that have me blocked on Twitter (go visit my Twitter) but not this one. I don't know what "Hausfrauen Porno" is but I'm curious. If only I spoke French. Any way, I've already put on my detective hat and grabbed my "magnifying glass" I'll let you guys know what I find out.

Real or Fake You Decide

Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters (a band I hate more than I can describe) pulled this allegedly random kid out of a crowd in Austin Texas during a concert and handed him his guitar and the kid -- who was wearing KISS make up for some reason -- fucking killed. Is this real? There is no way this is real. I was in a band and I know how much work goes into getting this shit right. You don't just jump up on stage without rehearsal with a bunch of strangers and play like this. You might get away with that in some dive bar with a stage somewhere with a half drunk sound guy behind a four channel board, but not a professionally produced concert with a professional multi-platinum selling rock band, it just doesn't happen. Maybe professional musicians that do this day in and day out could after a quick run through during a soundcheck but even still... Pretty awesome and cool though if it's real. Still with today's apps and high speed internet I guess anything is possible.

!!!SEXY UPDATE!!!

Does this confirm my suspicions? Who knows.  In case you don't click the links the "kid's" name is Yayo Sanchez, he's a "guitarist for hire" that also happens to live in Austin Texas. How convenient for everyone involved since this is where this event took place. This isn't just some random kid from the audience. And that's fine, I guess it just seems somehow...dishonest.

!!!SEXY UPDATE 2!!! After giving this some thought I've decided this is 100% pure Grade A bullshit and just one more reason to continue hating The Foo Fighters

!!!SEXY UPDATE 3!!! Why is that guy wearing KISS make up to a Foo Fighters concert? I have friends that would actually wear KISS make up to a KISS concert and even they wouldn't do this. It doesn't make any sense at all. Unless this is some kind of festival where KISS was also playing but my limited search didn't point to that.  Could it be to give Dave Grohl a reason to pick some supposedly random person out of the audience? "Hey that guy stands out let me pick him to come on stage". Why do I keep updating this? Because I keep seeing it get spread around and after one or two viewings it should be obvious to even the most dimwitted person that this isn't "real". Why do you people fall for every single thing that gets posted on the internet. Because it was on Mashable? Because Reddit says so? What's it like to wander through life with zero natural curiosity?

Avicii Dies

World renowned DJ Avicii was found dead in his hotel room in Muscat, Oman (which I pronounce Oh Man) at age 28. No one is sure why yet but he's been a super hardcore drinker for so long that his gall bladder was removed four years ago, so it could be just about anything. I guess now someone else will just have to push play on their MP3 player. Maybe Paris Hilton. It's all very sad. Hey I saw something about Heidi Klum's butt maybe I'll read that. That might cheer me up.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Adriana Lima Sits on a Bench

Adriana Lima was in New York having her picture taken for Maybelline (why can't you be true)  because that's her job. I've written about her before so I have the bona fides to prove that I think she 's hot but that picture also proves she ain't going to age well. In 25 years she's going to look like an insane woman with really long gray hair, 40 cats, and a house full of garbage and magazines. I really hope she doesn't move somewhere that's humid because that won't help her.  And what's the deal with the person next to her? Okay I think I've had just about enough of this whole freak show

This is News Everywhere This Morning for Some Reason

Tina Fey and Amy Schumer are hosting the season finale of SNL this Saturday. I'm not sure why this is news but I figured I'd let you know in case you wanted to waste 90 minutes of your Saturday night watching this mystifyingly popular garbage dump of a show. Hey it's your life. If you can call it that.

Is This a Joke

Just fucking stop. Are you seriously kidding me right now? If you're getting your political advice from Cardi B... you know what, do what you want, I don't have to live with you.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Site News

 Once again I realize I haven't written much lately and honestly, no one reads this garbage site anyway. But the fact of the matter is, everything on the internet is truly awful. And I have to sift through all of it to come up with even the tiniest kernel of an idea for what to write about. How many posts about Kim Kardashian, Chrissy Tiegen, and Amy Schumer would you have to read before you decided you wanted to blow your brains out? Who the fuck gives a shit what John Legend, or Cher has to say about anything? People that have to wear helmets when they go for a ride in the car that's who.

 It's horrible and quite honestly it gets worse every day. It used to take multiple generations for people to get dumber, now it's happening over the course of months. You truly don't realize. If this is the only place you ever read about celebrity types, you're just going to have to believe me because I see it all every day. The three assholes I mentioned above, along with Stormy Daniels,  are mentioned just about every day in roughly 90% of the stories I see. Want to read about President Trump's dick, day after day after day? I sure don't. I'm still looking and I'll keep trying but I make no promises.


Bob

Monday, April 16, 2018

Did Gwyneth Paltrow Get Married Question Mark

People are speculating that Gwyneth Paltrow got married to her boyfriend Brad Falchuk over the weekend. Did she? Didn't she? It's a mystery for the ages. Like Flight 19 and the Bermuda Triangle, or surviving dinosaurs in the African jungle. Can you imaging being married to that hot idiot? I could. For maybe a week or two, then I'd probably try to claw my way out like somebody kidnapped me and held me for ransom by burying me alive in a box in their backyard.

Jerry Lawler Strokes Out

Former WWE wrestler 68 year old Jerry Lawler had a stroke while having sex with his surprisingly attractive 29 year old fiance Lauryn McBride. He said he looked in a mirror and noticed his mouth was drooping. I'm not sure where this mirror was because that's pretty much the only description of any of these events I read about since I didn't need to be sick to my stomach today. He's fine now, and probably still having sex with a girl that's hotter and younger than anyone that will ever talk to you. But I really have no idea. I also don't know why that banner behind him says 2012, that was six years ago. Does that mean she was 23 when they started dating? Or is CMT just confused about dates. Dumb ass hillbillies.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Michelle Pfeiffer Likes Ants


Michelle Pfeiffer was spotted on the set of Ant Man. I don't know what Ant Man is but she was there. I assume since this picture was taken on a "set" it's a movie. Maybe the guy next to her is Ant Man. Here's a picture of her from the movie "The Hollywood Knights" when I pretty much fell in love with her. I LOVE YOU MICHELLE.

NEW HILARIOUS STORIES

I have stories written and ready to go. I was going to post some today but they aren't really time sensitive and this way I won't have to write tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Seth Meyers Had a Baby

Seth Meyers had a baby and still has a talk show. I'm not sure how either one of those things happened, I guess I should've paid closer attention in health class.

Friday, April 6, 2018

Look at Devin Brugman's Boobs

Devin Brugman walked around in a bikini and posted it on Instagram because Devin Brugman is apparently a "bikini blogger" which I think is a term she pretty much made up. I don't know if she blogs about bikinis or if she blogs while wearing bikinis or if she just buys them and then takes pictures in them and then returns them like some sort of bikini spy. No I don't know what that last one means either.

 She could also call herself "doughy girl that likes beer, pizza and beef sandwiches at 2am after a night of blackout drinking." and I bet that description would be just as accurate as bikini blogger. And no I didn't read the comments on any of her pictures believe me I don't need that in my life right now.

Jennifer Aniston Likes Pockets

Jennifer Aniston left a Beverly Hills hair salon looking weird. I'm not sure why, she just does. I think a combat style boot would have looked better with that outfit but whatever I'm not dressing her in the morning. Yet.

Kristen Stewart Goes on a Date. Still Gay.

Kristen Stewart was in a bunch of movies I'll never watch - no wait scratch that - I saw a few minutes of that one where she played Joan Jett but I quickly abandoned that once I realized it sucked. Well, it seems since she made all those movies she's become known mostly for being a lesbian. Good for her? Here's evidence right here in the form of a picture of her and her girlfriend going for sushi which at first I thought was a stupid immature joke but nope. There they go. If you need more Kristen Stewart updates check back here often I'm sure there'll be more amazing tales about her going food shopping, or washing her car or whatever it is actors and actresses do 10 years after their careers peak.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Lynda Carter is a Wonder

Lynda Carter got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I never really watched Wonder Woman I thought it was kind of dumb. It's still shown here on one of those channels that show old TV shows like Marcus Welby M.D. and Perry Mason. It's pretty amazing, if you watch an old episode of Perry Mason it's pretty much the same thing as a new episode of CSI Baltimore or whatever it is you idiots watch on TV only it was made like 60 years ago. If it ain't broke don't fix it I guess. Now go back to eating your paint chips.

Kim Kardashian Surprises

Evidently people are surprised that Kim Kardashian photo-shops her pictures. I don't really have anything else too add I mean, really? You're surprised? Were you people born with the umbilical cord wrapped around your necks?

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Jenny McCarthy has Blue Hair

Somebody took a picture of Jenny McCarthy and her blue hair and then wrote a story about it. She was in Playboy 21 years ago and then died her hair blue. That seems to be the whole Jenny McCarthy time line yet she's still pretty famous. I have a friend named Jenny that was in playboy and she isn't famous. I'm not posting a link to the pictures but you can bet I have them. Anyway,  is Jenny McCarthy still against people getting vaccines? I wonder if she's gone back over all of her scientific findings and altered her thinking about that life saving procedure or is she too busy carrying a little dog around in her purse and being interviewed for no reason.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Leonardo DiCaprio has a Girlfriend

Leonardo DiCaprio put on his Kid Rock disguise and went out with his girlfriend Camilla Morrone. His 20 year old girlfriend Camilla Morrone. Leo was already nominated for Oscars for movies he'd been in four years before she was even born. I'm the first guy in the world that will say "age is just a number", and I'm the last guy in the world that cares if your girlfriend/boyfriend is 25 years younger or older than you, it always depends on the person, and age truly doesn't matter, but c'mon man. She was shopping for a prom dress with the rest of the cheerleading squad like 18 months ago.  Where do you even meet a 20 year old for God's sake. At the mall?  It's not like she's hanging out in bars.

 She even still looks like a doughy teenager. Her high school diploma is dated 2016. Hell it's entirely possible that her parents are younger than Leonardo DiCaprio. What in the world could an almost 45 year old man have in common with a recently post-teenaged girl? Have you ever talked to a 20 year old girl? Here's a tip from me. Don't. They're idiots. This is where it starts to cross the line between having a younger girlfriend that has the same likes and dislikes that you do and maybe a great sense of humor, and being hung up on barely legal porn. I don't know what her hobbies are but I'm sure one of them is practicing writing the name Camilla DiCaprio in her diary. Probably with tiny little hearts over the "i".

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Izabel Goulart is Waterproof

Victoria's Secret model Izabel Goulart went to the beach and tried to not get her hair wet. I've written about her before and I don't really have anything new to add because she's a Victoria's Secret model and not much else.

Monday, March 26, 2018

Declan Donnely is Going to Have a Baby

Declan Donnely is going to have a baby. Presumably with his wife I didn't think he was the one that was pregnant.  I haven't the slightest idea who he is or why this is news,  unless they're saying he looks like Paul McCartney which all British people do, even the girls.  I'm only writing this because as I scrolled down through the story I noticed the picture was attributed with a copyright to "Arch Stanton".  Arch Stanton was the name on the grave where the gold was hidden in the movie "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly"(inset). Why? What does it all mean? Who is this mystery man? Let me know if you figure it out I'll be doing other things.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Bianca Gascoigne Walks on a Beach

Bianca Gascoigne is some nobody with big boobs from the UK that was on Celebrity Big Brother (?) that posted this picture of herself on a beach on -- where else -- her Instagram.  I scrolled through her Instagram pictures so you don't have to, just to try to get some kind of idea what it is she likes to do for fun and judging by all the pictures she enjoys standing around, and holding drinks. Her other hobbies include staring dead eyed, doing beer bongs in parking lots at sporting events, getting her nails done, and driving around in garish sports cars with guys that have terrible haircuts and really tight shirts (all guesswork on my part).  But she's wearing a bikini and that was a good distraction for you idiots while I look for something else to write about.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Shocking Las Vegas Hotel Gunman Video

ABC News asked in a breathless report how Stephen Paddock, the gunman that killed 58 people from his Mandalay Bay hotel room, got so many guns into his room. His hotel room. Where people bring suitcases. I couldn't figure out how to embed the ABC News video so I got the Fox News one from You Tube. If you insist on watching the exact same video because it's on ABC and not Fox here it is.

The brain trust over at ABC News where people are paid hundreds of thousands, and in the case of the television hosts, sometimes many millions of dollars, can't figure out how a guy brought a bunch of suitcases into his hotel room. It's no wonder why the establishment media can't figure out why people have almost zero trust in them.

Diane Keaton is Still Zany, Alive

Diane Keaton was at the David Donatello awards ceremony in Rome on Wednesday night dressed like a... stylish hobo? I'm not really sure what's going on there. Maybe she was there with like 200 watches and cheap gold necklaces hidden in that comically oversized coat to make a few extra bucks off the audience. And she is constantly wearing some kind of wacky hat. I haven't seen the top of her head in at least 20 years, do you think the top of her skull is missing and her brain is exposed? If I had to guess I'd say yes, yes it is.  I don't know what the award was for but I see the word "Campari" on the backdrop and I think that's a type of tomato so maybe she flew to Rome to get awarded for her prize winning tomatoes. If there's one thing the Romans know besides candles it's tomatoes.  I think all of my theories in this story are pretty solid.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Elle Macpherson is the Bee's Knees

Elle Macpherson was on the beach in Sydney, Australia in a sexy swimsuit on Saturday. 53 year old Elle Macpherson. She could be your grandmother. So yes I'd have sex with your nana. I just won't look at her knees. What do you say Elle?

Site News

If you asked me an hour ago did I have stories ready to go for today I would have said "you bet I do!" and then I looked and much to my surprise I didn't because I guess I forgot. Maybe I'll get to it in a couple of hours. Maybe I won't. What are you the Story Police?

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Naomi Campbell Can Kiss my Blarney Stone

Naomi Campbell dressed like this and posted it on her Instagram for St. Patrick's Day.  I really don't know what this has to do with St. Patrick's Day but I guess the whole "slutty whatever" Halloween attitude is taking over everything. Anyway it doesn't matter because I definitely approve. And no I'm not sure why I'm writing about St. Patrick's Day three days after it's over either. I'll tell you what, if you don't like it,  I'll send you the password to this site and you can try writing this crap every day.

Rita Ora Rejected by the Sea

British nobody, Rita Ora washed up onto some rocks off the coast of Britain. Maybe she was on a ship to the "Island of Fame" when it was torpedoed by reality and it threw her overboard. Oh well, better luck next time. Later one of those guys with a nail on a stick picked her up and put her in a garbage bag that he was carrying over his shoulder.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Saturday with Lea Michele

Lea Michele shared a throwback photo on her Instagram. I'm not sure when it was a throwback too, probably 2011 or something when anyone knew who Lea Michele was. She was on "Glee" and I remember when everyone was talking about that show, for whatever reason they talked about it which I never understood, but even that was almost seven years ago. If I hadn't seen this story on a terrible website I wouldn't even remember she was a person. I hope she saved some of the money she was paid from that show.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Orlando Bloom has a Hat

Orlando Bloom landed in LAX wearing a nifty hat/vest combo after flying in from the Czech Republic where he was filming a TV show called "Where Former Stars Go to Die". I'm kidding it's called "Carnival Row". It's probably all dash cam footage of him running over Gypsies or maybe hunting vampires or whatever the Hell it is they do over there. I get the feeling I could get on TV in the Czech Republic. Hell, for all I know I'm on TV there as I'm typing this right now. I'm sorry, the Czechs ruined Tom and Jerry for a period in the early 70's and I never forgave them for it. They were commies you know, so maybe they turned him into a hypnotized spy. I'm on to you Agent Orlandobot Number 6, you're not fooling anybody.

Lorraine Takes a Walk in the Park

This is Mel B's former nanny Lorraine Gilles and she just filed for divorce from her husband. Lorraine was accused of having a relationship with Mel B's husband - whatever his name is - and I guess that's why people know her name. Sort of know her name anyway. A girlfriend once told me that girls that wear heels with jeans are whores. Why? I have no idea why that would be the case but Lorraine is a girl wearing jeans with high heels and she had an affair with someone else's husband and she's filing for a divorce from her current husband because of infidelity and she's due in court soon so maybe we'll finally get some answers to the high heel/jeans mystery.