Friday, September 21, 2018

It's a Good Job if You Can Get it

This picture is from Sailor Brinkley's Instagram. Her mom is Christie Brinkley. Christie Brinkley has an estimated personal fortune of somewhere in the neighborhood of $250 million dollars.  More money than you could win in almost any giant lottery. And instead of doing something worthwhile. She's doing this.

Here's the Skinny on Maia Cotton

This is Maia Cotton. She's a 19 year old Victoria Secret's model from New Zealand and this week she talks about how to be as thin as a Victoria's Secret model.

Here's what she claims is her daily diet regimen...

A black coffee and a breakfast shake that contains one tablespoon of almond butter, one cup of unsweetened almond milk, one scoop of Moon Juice Chocolate Adaptogenic Protein and one scoop of collagen peptides .  (The highlighted part of this costs $68. I can buy food for a week for $68 so she's mentally ill or independently wealthy) 

Snack
She will snack on either a handful of nuts, 85 per cent dark chocolate or a
Collagen Protein Bar
 Lunch
She usually ends up at a restaurant called Hu Kitchen where she orders a quarter of a roast chicken with a side of sweet potato and broccoli
 Dinner
Option 1: Two or three scrambled eggs, half an avocado and some grilled halloumi
Option 2: Broiled salmon, half an avocado, kale/spinach, roast veggies and a drizzle of olive oil
 Dessert
Hu Kitchen brownie or some dark chocolate with a peppermint tea before bed 
The most important thing she leaves out of course is, it's super important to be 19 years old. Her bones haven't even fully developed yet. Maybe once they solidify she'll put on some weight. Anyway, believe it or not her diet seems completely reasonable. Of course I wouldn't buy $68 breakfast drinks or dinner at Hu's Kitchen every single day but that's me. Good luck with your expensive diet, girl I've never heard of or will never think about again.


Thursday, September 20, 2018

Oh Hi Megyn Kelly

Good Lord Megyn Kelly is attractive. I mean supernaturally so. She's hard to look at. I know that doesn't make sense but it's kind of like the Sun. It gives us life and makes the world a better place to live but you can't look directly at it or you'll go blind. Just like Megyn Kelly. Here's a link to the video where I screen capped that image if you're interested. I recommend it. I watched it myself, but once I saw her everything sort of started moving in slow motion so they could be talking about how to neuter your dog in your backyard shed for all I know or care.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Jennifer Lawrence Breaks the Code

Jennifer Lawrence told InStyle Magazine some female stars lie about how much they diet and exercise...
I just like it when everyone’s honest. If you are 20 pounds underweight and talk about eating pizza and fried chicken all the time, that’s not going to make people feel good about themselves. If I’m going to the Oscars or having a movie premiere — I won’t lie — I’m probably eating differently from how I would in my regular life to fit into those dresses. And I feel comfortable saying that.
Stars lie? The Hell you say. Later she visited The Weather Channel to talk about how the sky is blue, and rain is wet.

Good Plan


Pictured: Not Mark Bird


 Sociology professor Mark Bird hates Donald Trump. He hates him so much that he shot himself in the arm.  Of course he did. He'll survive since he only shot himself in the arm, or as it's otherwise known, "the heroes wound", well, that's what I call it anyway because all movie heroes get shot in the arm.

Maybe next time he should aim a little higher...

 A CSN student was also near the bathroom when the shooting happened. Bird told her “he’s protesting Trump and that he shot himself because of that,” according to the report.
 He was subsequenty arrested on some pretty serious charges so maybe he can continue his little protest in the prison hospital.

Court records show Bird was charged last month with discharging a gun within a prohibited structure, carrying a concealed weapon without a permit and possessing a dangerous weapon on school property.
Yikes. All felonies that probably carry pretty substantial jail time. For the record I consider substantial jail time, any time you have to sleep overnight in jail because fuck that shit. Crazy fucking idiot. Do you people realize these nutbags are teaching your children's classes at those very, very expensive colleges?  Whatever it's your money if you want to raise a bunch of idiots I'm not going to stop you. I'll be dead by the time they're in charge of everything anyway.

Monday, September 10, 2018

Denise Richards Got Married

Remember Denise Richards? She was one of those movie stars of the moment back in the 90s and she was even married to Charlie Sheen before he went insane with drugs. Anyway she got married over the weekend to some guy named Aaron Phypers and then she "kicked off her shoes" like the crazy gal she is.  But hang on, here's a little tip for you if you're new to the world of women. Just like the spring thaw brings renewed life back into the valley, after a long cold winter,  if you see a bunch of women dressed up in a bar and some of them have taken their heels off, one of them will be crying within the hour. Guaranfuckingteed. Did she cry later? Did you read the rest of this post? I just told you what would happen. This ain't my first trip around the Sun man.

Friday, September 7, 2018

Mac Miller Dead

Mac Miller was best known as the inbred, banjo picking hillbilly from the 1972 classic "Deliverance". Or maybe he was a rapper I don't have the slightest idea. Either way he overdosed. Godspeed banjo boy.

Monday, September 3, 2018

A Jennifer Aniston Break

I have some personal things going on and I haven't really felt much like reading about any of the usual dopes making news on the various internet type websites. I tried writing an hilarious post about Rosanne Barr but failed miserably. Any way I may skip a day or two or four but I thought I'd leave some pictures of Jen for everyone to enjoy. Mostly me because I don't care about you but if you like them more power too you. I didn't bother resizing these pictures because nobody said "Hey Michelangelo, why don't you make that David statue a little smaller so I can get it in my house". Now replace David with it's female equivalent since I LIKE GIRLS and you get the idea. No sir. You don't mess with art. Anyway once again I'll be back and I'd also like to remind you that it's my blog so if I don't feel like writing I guess that's tough shit. Don't like it? Call the cops.

Roseanne Barr Moves to Israel

Roseanne Barr says she's moving to Israel to "study"...
“I have an opportunity to go to Israel for a few months and study with my favorite teachers over there, and that’s where I’m going to go and probably move somewhere there and study with my favorite teachers. I have saved a few pennies and I’m so lucky I can go,” she said, adding, “It’s my great joy and privilege to be a Jewish woman.”
As for the show she started and subsequently killed off? Nope.
 I’m staying away from it.
Well that makes two of us. Anyway, let me know what you learn in Israel, unless you're really going over there to secretly join the Mossad, in which case keep it to yourself since being a trained special forces assassin will almost certainly need to be kept under wraps.

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Cindy Crawford's Daughter (I forgot her name) Walks Around

Cindy Crawford's daughter is only 16. And normally I'd say poking fun of celebrity children is something you shouldn't do. Especially if they can't even drive yet.  So I won't.

Jennifer Aniston Films Something

I know, I know. I've been lazy, but I think of the blog every day while I'm doing other things I swear. Here, look at Jennifer Aniston looking cute. What's with that dude in the sunglasses?

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Uummm...What?

I have a lot of questions about this story. The first one is, and the most important one is, why does an 18 year old "You Tube Gamer" own a $500,000 car.

Big Big News About Ariana Grande

There were several Pete Davidson/Ariana Grande stories floating around this morning. One about how they were getting married, one was about how his dick is always hard, and the other one was about how Pete Davidson had "butthole eyes" whatever that means. Maybe it's a new thing the way tramp stamps were all the rage some years ago. You just go to your ophthalmologist and say, "Hey Doc, I'm trendy, give me some butthole eyes like all the famous comedians have" and you'll be a hit with all the ladies. I didn't know these two were always so newsworthy. I didn't think their fans could even read but hey good for them, reading is important. This way if you get invited to their wedding you'll be able to read the P.S. at the bottom that mentions, "This will be an outdoor ceremony. Please don't eat the dirt under your chair"

Friday, August 24, 2018

Matthew McConaughey Takes his Name to Dinner

Matthew McConaughey enjoys himself ironically by wearing a shirt with a quote from his Dazed and Confused character, Big Jerry or whatever the fuck his name is in that movie. I've seen it a couple times and it's okay I guess. It's one of those movies I can sort of turn on and "watch" while I'm doing something else, like mowing the lawn.  I don't really get the whole cult of Dazed and Confused. Probably because it's all pot heads. "Oh hey let's smoke some doobies and eat a bunch of human babies when we get the munchies while we watch Dazed and Confused". And I know you internet people like that. Goddamn hippies.

Michelle Wolf was Cancelled

The Daily Beast says some people are upset that Michelle Wolf's Netflix show "The Break With Michelle Wolf" was cancelled. And everyone that lost their jobs found out on Twitter (haha)

“None of us can believe how classlessly Netflix has handled this,” a source connected to the show told The Daily Beast after the news broke, noting that the entire writing staff and even the showrunners found out they had been fired on Twitter.
 I don't know why it was cancelled after only 10 shows. I didn't even know this was a show. But then I don't have a Netflix account which I think would be an important part of knowing this show existed. Maybe it just wasn't very good. The writer of the linked story apparently feels that because Michelle Wolf is a woman, her show should be allowed to air in perpetuity regardless of the quality. He doesn't come right out and say that but I can read between the lines. I don't know whether she's funny or not and just because a couple of people out of 100 million subscribers laughed doesn't mean it's good. And as a general rule I usually despise stand up comics with a few notable exceptions so of course I may be the wrong guy to ask.

 Look, it's just another talk show man. Not everything has to be a fight. She'll get a new show somewhere, those people will get new jobs and that's the end of it. Why does everything always have to be this monumental fucking battle. Especially when it comes to shit like this. Nextflix is a business. If the show isn't working, it's not working. It's just a TV show. It was cancelled and you dopes will find another thing to stare at for 44 minutes every night.

!!!Sexy pre-posting update!!!

Deadline says...

In the end, sources say neither show drew enough viewership to secure a renewal. The Break and The Joel McHale Show followed Netflix’s first foray into the comedy talk show genre, Chelsea, which ran for two seasons.
Mystery solved.

!!!!SEXY PRE_POSTING UPDATE NUMBER II!!!!

I wrote this last Saturday and forgot to post it and I haven't read it since then and I won't read it again, so I make no guarantees about it's current accuracy

Friday, August 17, 2018

Kate Beckinsale Walks Around

Do you see what I see? Hey Kate there's a state fair here soon. They have camel rides if you're at all interested I'd love to take you

Rhianna and Donald Glover Do Things

Donald Glover and Rhianna appeared in a picture together but no one is sure why. There was a lengthy article describing how no one knows, and I didn't read the whole thing, but here's a summary of what I took away from the parts of said article I did bother to read...
 Donald Glover and Rhianna took a picture together and posted it on Twitter but no one knows why.
Happy now? I haven't heard much about Rhianna lately and I don't care about David Glover at all, but I know the internet loves them both for some reason so I figured, hey, why not post this picture and write a meandering blog post and strike while the iron is hot. So here it is. Look at how great they are. Aren't they great? Doing whatever it is they do. Keep up the good work you two.

Aretha Franklin Died

Aretha Franklin died yesterday at the age of 76. I wasn't a huge fan or anything, and there was this weird period in the early 90's where a lot of local area heavy metal bands did a version of "Chain of Fools". It was weird how they all got the same idea at the same time. Maybe because they were a bunch of mindless followers. I guess they thought it gave them some street cred or something I have no idea what they were thinking it was pretty ridiculous though. Especially since I hate that song. Of all the Aretha Franklin songs she recorded over 50 plus years they could choose from they all picked that one. Stupid assholes.

 Stephen Colbert also dedicated part of his show to Aretha Franklin but Stephen Colbert has never heard an Aretha Franklin song in his whole life so I don't know why. I guess he's a band wagon jumper too and wants people to think he's cool and hip. I hate to break this too him but it didn't help

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Madonna Flees

Madonna hinted that she moved to Portugal because Donald Trump is president.
 The singer spoke to Vogue Italia about the motivation behind her big move saying "this is not America's finest hour."
"I felt like we needed a change, and I wanted to get out of America for a minute," the singer told the magazine
I didn't even know Madonna moved to Portugal but okay. Listen, if more of these dimwits promise to move to Portugal after the next election if he wins again, I might actually vote for him this time around.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

What the Fuck?

Look at this freak show

Some Lady Talks About Her Boobs

Know who Shannon Beador is? How about Jeff Miller? Sorry I meant Jeff Lewis. She was on The Jeff Lewis-Miller Show (?) talking about getting a boob job after she divorced her husband who's name I couldn't find. Why is this news? Why did I further perpetuate this story even a tiny bit? Want to know why you nosy asshole? Here's a small list of the people I could have written about this morning...

Kim Kardashian
One of the Jenner girls. I think there's more than one. Kylie and Jennifer?
Amarosa Sigwault Malone or whatever the fuck her name is
Betheny Frankel (again)
Some other no named dope

These are the people that are constantly in all the celebrity rags. Every day. No matter how pointless the story and you know why? Because stupid people click on these stories constantly, I can think of no other reason. That's why. Think you could do better? Click here. Give it a shot and send me the link.

Aretha Franklin is Sick

Aretha Franklin Death Watch: Day 2.

Monday, August 13, 2018

Russell Brand is a Yogi


 "Comedian" Russell Brand is pretending he does yoga now. Why? My guess would be he thought it would get him some free pickinic baskets.
  It looks a little crazy this, but it’s just me with a blanket wrapped round me like a footballer in a changing room. 
 ‘You might think “Russell, you’re a mad man with a feather round your neck wrapped in a towel.”’
 No one thinks that . Until I read this I didn't even remember you were still around. And I've actually written about him before this. It's so weird how someone in England could be so famous they couldn't even go to dinner, or run to the store in peace and have a mansion and a Ferrari, and yet mention their name here in America and everyone goes "Who? Oh yeah, that guy from that one scene in that movie". Whatever, I don't make the rules.

Bebe Rexha is Somebody

Bebe Rexha was at The Teen Choice Awards showing off her Kylie Jenner Halloween costume. Don't worry I had to Google her too. I might write about The Teen Choice Awards freak show today I'll see how aggravated I am when I get home later.

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Leonardo is Stylin'

!!!!!UPDATE!!!!! I wrote this yesterday and forgot to post it so here it is.

The story I swiped this picture from wasn't really about much of anything as usual. I skimmed through it and it talked about Leonardo DiCaprio's new 21 year old girlfriend (here's her Instagram in case you need to see yet another vapid idiot's selfies) and how he was in Italy and it wasn't at all about him wearing his new jeans and gym shoes on his first day back at school like I originally thought.

Kim Kardashian is a Liar

Kim Kardashian says she's lost so much weight she's down to 105 pounds. As proof she posted this photo shopped picture of her looking thinner that's stretched out so much that it also apparently made her 11 feet tall. Good job Kim.

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Bethenny Frankel is Talking

I saw this connected to some story about Bethenny Frankel who's on some dumb show I've never seen, but I'm sure you're a huge fan of it, and in this story she's described as 47 years old. 47. If she's 47, I'm the High Priest of the Incas. You know what? She looks okay, I mean why lie about it? Obviously that washed out picture taken with my mom's camera from the 1970s with one of those square flash cubes doesn't help but she looks good. And besides, nobody outside of Me, The Daily Mail, and the gay dudes that watch the Bravo Network knows who she is anyway.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Avicii's New Song is Haunting

A new Avicii track is set to be released three months after his death. It's called "Heaven" although since he's dead I assume he's not actually releasing it from Heaven because that would be pretty scary and not at all something I'd want to hear. If you listened to it your face would probably melt like those guys in Raiders of the Lost Ark although I have to admit that would be pretty cool too. Scary, but cool.Good luck with your new song Avicii's ghost.

Liam Hemsworth is a Man of Action

Liam Hemsworth was photographed paddle boarding in Malibu. Is this all these fucking people do? Go to the beach, buy clothes and occasionally make a crappy movie? I don't want to be a Negative Nelly but I hope this fucking guy gets swallowed whole buy a shark. Asshole.

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Brooke Burke Goes to the Pool

I have to admit, I didn't really feel much like writing anything the last day or two. I still don't actually. It's just one of those grooves you fall into I guess, and having a job sucks and all that so I wind up staring at the computer screen, dreading having to type a bunch of garbage here and then all the sudden Brooke Burke shows up in a purple bikini and I'm like, "Hey. Maybe I should tell others about this". And there you go. As usual I'm not sure what she does, I thought she had a cooking show on the Food Network or something I have zero idea. Or maybe she was married to someone, probably a baseball player. Or maybe a NASCAR driver? What I'm saying is, I don't give a shit. Whatever the case may be her job now seems to be walking around in a bikini and you know what? That's alright with me. In fact she should get a raise. Hell I got one just looking at her. I mean a boner in case you were wondering.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Kristen Bell Does Things

I'm not sure why Kristen Bell wearing her grandmother's living room drapes to go shopping is news but I guess it is.

Friday, August 3, 2018

Zombie Boy Now a Zombie

Lady Gaga's friend and a guy in one of her videos killed him self and she's sad. Rick “Zombie Boy” Genest was found dead in his apartment after an apparent suicide. Who would have imagined he had mental problems? Certainly not me.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

The Golden Fly is Very Real.

I was looking for something easy to write about on a Saturday morning when I stumbled across some kind of party that was happening for that 15 year old, piece of trash, garbage idiot that was on Doctor Phil who emitted the immortal words, "cash me outside howboutdat" and it was mentioned how something called "The Golden Fly" was there. It's an 11 year old rapper and fashion designer. No it wasn't representatives for an 11 year old company, which I originally thought, it's an 11 year old kid. And I thought "G Eazy" and Colin Hanks was about as low as rap could sink.

 Rap has officially moved way beyond parody now into that realm where people stare dumbfounded. Kind of like what happened with hair metal just before Nirvana released their first album. It's a joke. I wouldn't normally care all that much, I'd just move on with my life but come on man. You can not be serious. Aren't you embarrassed? You're listening to sixth graders rap about life on the street? I assume that's what he raps about. I can't imagine he raps about Peppa Pig and Animaniacs does he? I don't even remember being 11 years old. I say this a lot but this time I'm serious. You idiots make me fucking sick.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Jennifer Lopez Goes to the Beach

I was all gung-ho to write stuff for tomorrow. I sat down with a brandy and a fine cigar like I always do and then decided I just didn't feel like writing. And then I saw this picture of Jennifer Lopez on the beach and I thought, "well, maybe just this one".  Pretty neat huh? By the way that's FORTY NINE year old Jennifer Lopez. She's two years older than The World's Sexiest Granny or whatever she calls herself.  She's older than her and at least twice as hot. Anyway I'm outta here for now. Hopefully something will turn up by the morning.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Jameela Jamil Sits There

Jameela Jamil has been in the news a lot lately. I don't know why, I never ever read the stories because they're usually very thinly veiled press releases written by some PR person's barely literate teenaged assistant. Or at least I pray that's who's writing that garbage.  Maybe Jameela Jamil is a comedian, maybe she's an actress who can say. The important thing is her skin is brownish, she has a vaguely foreign sounding name and she's on the internet and that's usually enough for you sorry bunch of dopes. If you figure out why everyone is talking about her this week instead of Tig Notaro let me know. I'll be staring at this wall waiting for the big news.

Dolp Lundgren is All Ears

Dolph Lundgren just bought a $3.9 million dollar house in California. And in other even more shocking news, Dolph Lundgren has enough money to buy a $3.9 million dollar house in California.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Demi Lovato Almost Died

Demi Lovato was rushed to the hospital after ODing on heroin. Wait, Demi Lovato is a junkie?
Demi Lovato was rushed to an L.A. hospital after suffering what appears to be a heroin overdose ... law enforcement tells TMZ.
Our sources say Demi was transported by ambulance from a home in the Hollywood Hills just before noon Tuesday, and is currently being treated. We do not know her condition.
Shows how much I know.  Wasn't she a Mousekateer  or Musketeer or whatever? Beats me. Anyway she isn't dead so take heart. I would have thought being a smacked out junkie would make her music better but I guess not. Better luck next time, or whatever you say to someone that overdosed.

Monday, July 23, 2018

Stromy Daniels in a Storm

Stormy Daniels and her husband, Frankenstein are getting a divorce. I believe the reason given was infidelity? Haha no for real...

In addition to the divorce petition, Crain filed for a temporary restraining order barring Daniels from threatening or causing bodily injury to Crain or the couple’s child. The TRO application also requested that Daniels be restrained from withdrawing or transferring any of the couple’s assets, and that anyone “employed in the adult entertainment industry” be kept away from the pair’s daughter.
 In an affidavit, Crain alleged that Daniels recently purchased an airplane ticket so that the couple’s daughter could join her on a tour of U.S. strip clubs. “This will involve the child being on her tour bus with other adult performers and producers,” Crain charged. “This will place my child in eminent threat of serious and immediate physical or emotional harm.”
That seems reasonable to me. A little kid going on a year long strip club/porno shoot might sound like a cool back story in a Quentin Tarantino flop but I bet in reality that probably wouldn't really be all that good. I personally know a lot of strippers (sorry, "dancers") and the fact is, they're all mostly perfectly normal people with bills and kids, and husbands and car trouble etc., that just happen to have weird jobs. It's not them you have to worry about. It's the small percentage of weirdos and creeps that are attracted to places like "Gentleman's Clubs". Good luck in your divorce you two wacky kids

Jada Pinkett Smith Does This

Remember this story? Of course you do how could you forget. Jada Pinkett Smith is 46 years old, and she posted this on her Instagram. The source article said she was "clapping back at Will Smith" so I won't be linking the original story.  It's also where I stopped reading. I've been hearing rumors for years that the Smiths if that is their real name, have an "open" relationship. She denies it of course so now you know it's true. I believe that's how evidence works. But if it is true I'd just like to be the first to say, give me a call Jada. We can discuss these ugly rumors that are spread by those big meanies over a few drinks.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

A Sunday in Paris

Michael Jackson's daughter Paris Jackson dressed like whatever this is at Comic-Con for some reason. I like how Comic-Con has morphed into this weird place where semi-relevenat, attention seeking,  but attractive D-Listers can go to this thing dressed as whatever comic book character they want and act as slutty as possible and then get upset that you noticed. Of course you could just stay home and search "cos play" on your favorite porn site and it won't cost you anything but whatever man it's your life.

Friday, July 20, 2018

Easy Post

Of course I'd never seen this. But in my defense it only has 17 million views over five years so you can see how I might have missed it. From the male point of view this is how men view the whole man/woman thing in a nutshell. I'm not going to get all psychological and argue-y I just didn't wnat to leave Muscles McGillicutty down there at the top of my site in case I got distracted and didn't write anything for a couple of days. But it's pretty funny go ahead and watch it. If you don't like it, I'll give you your money back.

One For the Ladies

Michael Turnbull, Trumball?  I'm not sure it makes a difference either way. He's in the news I think because he was on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette (I'm not sure which one, and again I'm not sure it matters) and I guess he "hooked up" with Farrah Abraham. You know that Teen Mom one. But she's a fame hungry maniac and sometime pornstar  and believe me that was far and away the safest link I could find. I don't know if you people are a bunch of nuns or what so I went with that one. But my guess is, if she thinks cameras or a website involved, hooking up with her probably wouldn't be all that difficult. I don't know why they didn't ask him why a grown man was riding around on a scooter in pink shorts, or why he always skips leg day but with the state of journalism today I'm surprised they could even figure out how to use a camera to take his picture.

The World's Hottest Grandmother?

I saw an article called Gina Stewart is the world's hottest grandmother. I'm paraphrasing but you get the idea and I'm not checking it again.  Anyway, she's 47 years old and has an Instagram (of course). I mean, she's okay I guess. Maybe we have the same interests or something, or maybe she's super funny who knows.  But if you call yourself the "hottest" you're going to open yourself up to some challenges. Is it a matter of age? Because I personally know women the same age and even older than her that are much, much hotter. Did she call herself that, or was she appointed. Seriously if you don't believe me just Google "MILF porn stars". There are hundreds of them.

Here's a list of women, just off the top of my head that are around her age or in some cases older, some that are hotter by orders of magnitude...

Elizabeth Hurley
Jennifer Aniston
Jane Krakowski
Tina Fey
Gina Gershon
Sandra Bullock
J.W. (someone I know)
R.E. (someone I know)
C.M (someone I know)

The list is almost endless. She's 47. Not 87. I know I probably would have thought that she looked amazing when I was 20 years old too but times are different now and 20 year olds are stupid beyond belief so we really should stop asking them about anything. Well There she is. Go look at her very heavily filtered pictures I guess.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Ryan Cherwinski is a Tool

I'm nobody's White Knight but c'mon man who does this? Ryan Cherwinski, that's who. He's the 31 year old idiot that grabbed 21 year old Emelia Holden's ass as he walked by her in the pizza place where she worked. Ryan Cherwinski, 31, of Palm Bay, Florida Ryan Cherwinski, Ryan Cherwinski, Ryan Cherwinski, 31,of Palm Bay, Florida  31,was the guy that got his ass kicked by a waitress and was subsequently arrested for sexual battery (!). That sounds kind of serious to me. But if you ask me this stupid asshole should get the fucking chair. I'm a dude and doing something like this has never crossed my mind. I just do not get it. Oh and in case you're wondering, I keep using his name over and over again so when anyone Googles his name it'll always show up. I also think this sort of makes her pretty hot even though that's probably not what I'm supposed to be taking away from all of this.

Hanoi Jane is Hopping Mad

Jane Fonda is mad at President Trump for whatever reason it is people like her are mad at him today. She's so mad in fact she said this...
'Obviously, we know what he really thinks and who he really sides with, unfortunately. Now he's trying to weasel out of it, but it's just stupid!'
'My country is under attack right now and it's very serious, our democracy is under attack and it has to do with cyber attacks,' Fonda raged.
I was going to use the picture of her at whatever pointless event she made her statement but I decided to go with the ones where she was yucking it up with communist North Vietnamese troops during her 1972 visit with the North Vietnamese Army. You know, back when we were fighting a war against them. Still I guess, who better to tell you the current president is a traitor?  I mean, she would probably know what a traitor to their country looks like wouldn't she?.

Vice are Smart

Vice is sort of like SpikeTV if it was one of those college freshman from South Park.  Leave it to Democrats to advocate owning people.