Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Chrissy Teigen Goes Between Two Ferns

Drunken internet bully Chrissy Teigen was at the premier of piece of shit movie "Between Two Ferns" that she's in, and stars all of the other "precious on the internet" people you could imagine, along with her husband Black Yanni Jr. I'd rather sit in a giant toaster oven, covered in honey and fire ants than see this movie. Oh but I'm sure you'll like it.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Christie Brinkley is on a Hot Ride Ride Straight to Hell

Here's 65 year old Christie Brinkley dressed like a teenager from a 1950's science fiction movie. Maybe she's going for a ride with Johnny in the rumble seat of Goober's car to see the crashed space ship over by Old Man Kelsey's woods. Watch out they might have ray guns.

Kristin Cavallari is in the News

I saved this picture of Kristin Cavallari for reasons I no longer remember. It's getting harder and harder to write about these dead-eyed morons, so I look for stories that seem at least easy to make fun of, but it isn't easy. The media handlers for these D-List idiots are getting smarter at light speed and internet gossip sites are only to happy ti help if it means just a few more people will click a story. It's all about numbers. A site like mine has 10 readers, if I had a 1000 sites like this guess what. Now I have 10,000 readers. That's how numbers games work. That's why some of the sleazier sites still use slide shows. Each page is a different click. And now people become famous for absolutely no reason at all. Do you even know who she is? And if you do, do you know why you know? Sometimes I really get sick of this garbage.

Ric Ocasek Dead at 75

Ric Ocasek of the band The Cars died yesterday and not 10 years ago like you thought.

Friday, September 13, 2019

Mark Jolie or Whatever And Some other Asshole Go To Prison

 !!!UPDATE!!! I tried to fix this 10 fucking times but it keeps putting that white background behind the words so you know what? If you don't want to read it don't because I'm done fucking with this asinine story. These two assholes can rot in an Iranian prison for all I give a shit. This is the kind of shit that ONLY happens when I write these stories on Google's Chrome browser for some reason.

Two Instagram assholes, Jolie King and Mark Firkin, decided to take a trip to show everyone how wrong their attitudes are toward certain Middle Eastern countries so they took their plastic smiles, and their air of smug superiority straight to Iran...

“Our biggest motivation… is to hopefully inspire anyone wanting to travel, and also try to break the stigma around travelling to countries which get a bad wrap [sic] in the media,”

Good for them. Show those stupid idiots in Fly Over Country that their attitudes are all wrong and ignorant, and that people really are kind everywhere.  No wait. Scratch that.  I'll give you one guess what happened next

"...the frequent updates King and Firkin shared to the Instagram account, The Way Overland, they’d set up just for the trip abruptly stopped in late June."

You know why the posts stopped? They were arrested. In Iran. For "illegally flying a drone". And guess what. As far as anyone knows they're still there. In an Iranian prison. Way to go. You hear these stories once in a while about some hippie from Sweden that decides to take a bike trip from Sweden through somewhere to prove the people are kind and winds up getting slaughtered and thrown into a ravine. Or those mentally ill people that climb into tiger cages to prove the tigers are just big misunderstood stuffed animals. But good for them. people love these stories, just not for the reasons they think. 

I sure learned my lesson and now know that I should be a little less judgmental about how things go in the Middle East. Maybe 20 or 30 more of these "influences" can show us. Just so we're sure.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

!!!Breaking Chris Hemsworth News!!!

Chris Hemsworth installed a fire pit, or as I like to them - The Idiots Round Table - at his new house. Pretty exciting huh? I think that's it in the round grassy area. Well there's your BIG Chris Hemswroth or whatever his name is news.

Jonah Hill is Scary

Jonah Hill was out walking around New York in his bad ass Marilyn Manson shirt with his knife, and spider web elbow tattoos.Who knew the fat kid from Superbad was such a tough guy.