Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Jennifer Aniston is at the Airport

Jennifer Aniston arrived at the airport in L.A. on Monday wearing a scarf in July and sunglasses at night. Maybe she was at the airport dressed like that because she and fellow fighter ace Snoopy just landed their WWI planes there.

Rachel McAdams is a Living Pin Up

Rachel McAdams was at ComicCon on Friday which strangely I've heard very little about. I usually have to wade through hundreds of comments all over the internet by slobbering losers talking about how excited they are to be going to this giant, annual loserfest but I guess not this year for some reason, thank Christ. She was there to answer questions about her new movie "Doctor Strange". Questions like, "Is this a movie?" and "No one's ever heard of this have they?" and also "Can I bring my mom?"  She decided to show up in a really short skirt and high heels to show these miserable shut-ins what a real woman looks like and I think she did a pretty damn good job. Man she's got some serious gams doesn't she? If this was the 1940's I'd paint her on the side of my plane as I shot dirty rotten Huns out of the sky like the hrero that I am, as I still like to use words, and phrases like "gams" and "quit beatin' your gums Killroy" from the 1940's. Oh yes, by the way, she was there with her co-star Benedict Cumberbatch as he stood around looking like one of the aliens from the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind like he always does so he was a big hit too.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Jaden Smith is a Meddling Kid

Will smith's son Jaden Smith was out on the streets of wherever he was with his teenage posse, possibly solving mysteries like a modern day Baby Sitters Club or maybe Scooby Doo. I wonder if they had to spend the night in a haunted roller rink, or maybe the old amusement park where old man Jenkins disappeared into the swamp that was next door. And the original caption on this picture said he was showing off his washboard abs because the caption writer apparently forgot that Jaden Smith is 12 years old so his body hasn't had enough time to store any fat to cover those up.

Brie Larson is Captain Marvel. Whoever That Is.

OMG! Brie Larson is the new Captain Marvel! I thought Captain Marvel was a dude. Or is that Captain America. I really have no idea I've never heard of Brie Larson or Captain Marvel. You'd think if you had superpowers you'd pick a higher rank like colonel, or at least major. Major Marvel. Doesn't that sound better? No I don't think so either but then the last thing the world needs is yet another comic book movie. Don't you nerds ever get tired of this crap? Seriously the movies are all exactly the same. Misfits that don't fit in become popular, right the wrongs, and win the girl at the end. Or in this case the guy. Unless she's gay, I mean nowadays that's more likely and I might actually go see that movie. You should see all of those types of movies I have bookmarked.  Not everyone is a misfit you know. Take me for instance. I'm a winner. And the only Brie I ever heard of before this big announcement was Bree Olson plus she's very cute, and I can see her naked at the drop of a hat so if you ask me she's the real superhero in this story.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Christie Brinkley is a Miracle on Long Legs

Christie Brinkley posed for more pictures which is what she's basically done her entire life. I really just posted this to point out once again that she's 62 years old. Four years younger than my mother. And I'd appreciate it if you'd leave my mother out of this I have enough problems already.

Tinashe Sits on a Log

Some people have accused me of ugly things because I never write about women "of color". Okay that's not true no one reads this thing. Anyway that all changes today! Here's Tinashe! She's from California, 23 years old, 5' 5" tall and her father is from Zimbabwe and her mother is of Danish descent and she has a small tattoo of a butterfly on her shoulder. I don't really know much about her though. Yet

Adriana Lima is Standing by a Mirror

Adriana Lima's secret to her youthful appearance as she creeps slowly but surely toward 40 is now obvious. She's the sexy, eternally young, head vampire from a 70's blaxploitation movie. I bet she's lured many a young brother to their doom with promises of marijuana, heroin, and endless soul food. If you stop her, maybe you can stop all the senseless killing that's going on in your neighborhood. I bet the mafia and politicians are somehow to blame too, allowing her to continue her reign of terror