Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Miley Cyrus is Gay Now


Miley Cyrus has reached the end of whatever her last iteration was, because she's gay now...

Miley told SiriusXM: 'Girls are way hotter. We know this. Everyone I think can agree that from ancient times dicks makes wonderful sculptures. Other than that, I'm not as interested. I like d***s as art pieces. And sculptural, I love the shape, I think it looks really good on a table.

 It's good if it can just get in and go away, because I don't want it eyeing me up. That's how I truly feel. I felt really good about saying that. Everyone knows that t**s are prettier than b***s.'

Miley feels a greater emotional connection to female partners than male and finds it easier to find the right 'role' within same-sex relationships.

Is she gay? Who knows, she talks like a crackhead. I don't know what the fuck she's talking about with that word salad up there. Has anybody checked her meds? Can you imagine being this desperate for attention? Her career is all but over and you can tell she knows it. The only place I ever hear about her anymore is on The Daily Mail, and in "throwback to 2006" segments on "101.9 The Mix. Chicago's Shittiest Music" 

I guess her little ploy worked to some degree because her I am writing about it. To be fair it was either this, or more stories about how JLo took her world famous booty to the beach in Miami. Hey here's an idea. Maybe her and Jennifer Lopez can make a sex tape together and really give their faltering careers a real boost. I wouldn't watch it because there are way hotter girls than these two doing that exact thing, and for a lot less money, but I'm sure somebody would, but I prefer to support the struggling artists because I'm a hero..

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Zara Larsson is Somebody

 Zara Larsson was at the Scandic Stadium doing something dressed like this. I made almost all of that up. I have no idea where she was or what she was doing, or who she is. I just saw a cute, half naked girl and went with it. From what little I gleaned from the article I scanned she's a singer. And the photograph is proof enough. You know how you know that? By the dress she's wearing. The more naked they are, the better they are at singing. You know who you won't see wearing a dress like that? RenĂ©e Fleming. .

Steve Harvey Goes Sailing

 Steve Harvey was on a yacht in St. Bart's, a place name that will always make me laugh.  No word yet whether he was there because he wanted to be, or if he got dragged aboard because he got tangled up in someone's net.  His wife of course was on a jet-ski, otherwise known as "The Ride of Assholes", which is absolutely something I will never understand the appeal of, and his daughter who of course is doing whatever that is. Frankly, I would have been surprised if his daughter wasn't doing that.  Just what the world needed, another soulless, talent-less, celebrity offspring, dead-eyed goon. At least none of them are wearing masks, while pretending they care about others I guess.

Monday, January 18, 2021

Ariana Grande Sits Around

 Hey Ariana Grande is still famous! She was blah blah doing yababa yabba catsuit blah blah blah who gives a fuck.  We're coming out the other side of the "pandemic" and I guess now we're going to find out who the survivors are going to be. I mean career-wise. I wouldn't have guessed she would be one of them but I don't know anything and I'm happier for it.

Is Someone Keeping an Eye on Germany

 Looks like the Germans are at it again. Someone is keeping an eye on them, right?

Friday, January 15, 2021

Meghan Trainor Got Knocked. Up.

 Hey! Remember Meghan Trainor!? Of course you do, who doesn't? Well, she got porked and now she's pregnant. This is huge news for 2021 you know. I assume of course since she's the whitest woman on the planet, if she has a boy he'll be named Brysinn, and if it's a girl? MacCken7ee (the "7" isn't a typo) It's almost like I have a crystal ball isn't it?

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Lady Gaga Does Stuff

 Lady Gaga is going to perform at Joe Biden's inauguration, so if you want to see two things that are going to suck all in the same place, now's your big chance.