Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Osher Günsberg

Osher Günsberg is a host of some show, and a rich guy from the 1920's (inset). I think the show he's on is The Bachelor, or maybe The Bachelorette but I think it's in a different country. Australia or something. Maybe it was Austria. I'm not really sure those two countries are so close together I always get them confused. Despite all that, he dressed up like a waiter form an ice cream parlor and got married. I'm not sure to who but he's petting a dog in that picture, and you know how people from Europe are. Whatever you do, don't look at his gorilla feet.

P.S. I had a link to this story that I was going to include but I closed the tab and I forgot where I found it. So if you want to read more about Osher Günsberg, try Reddit or wherever people go for up to the minute Osher Günsberg news.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Emergency Hair Cut News

The big news of the day so far is that Kate Hudson got a new hairdo. Pretty exciting! They describe it as "an 80's style choppy bob".  I guess that's industry lingo. I vote yes, mostly because she looks like Nina Blackwood now. All she needs is some disco high heels and leg warmers and I'm on the next plane to California. By the way that picture is from someone's Instagram but I'm not sure who. I think their name is at the top but I only glanced at it. If you're dying to know, why not look for yourself? This blog is interactive you know. Meaning you can use your own eyes.

Here's More Batman News

Ben Affleck was at the Live By Night (?) Something Something, when somebody asked him about Batman, or maybe it was about his new roll as Dr. Phineas J. Stuffypants. A Harvard college professor that learns to love again when he adopts an inner-city black child. No I'm pretty sure it was about Batman because movies about Batman, super-heroes, and Star Wars are the only movies Hollywood seems to make anymore.
'We’re going to make something really special. We’re going to take the time to make it right. We’re going to do it good. We’re going to do it the right way and the fans are going to love it,' he stated.

Yes I'm sure it will be very special. A guy dresses up like a bat and fights crime. I don't know how much more you could add to that, I mean, that's the whole thing in a nutshell. Maybe he has a cool new Batcar or maybe a cool Batsaber. Or maybe Alfred the man servant is played by Clint Eastwood only this time and he calls a bunch of people racist things- which by the way I would actually go see - Or maybe Bat Girl joins him in his crusade against the forces of Dr. Strangetroll or whatever the fuck you sorry bunch of nerds want to see this time. God you people make me fucking sick.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Elvis is Everywhere

Idiots on the internet and around the world are insisting this is Elvis Presley visiting Graceland over the weekend. Which person you ask? They guy with the white beard of course. Why not the black guy in the back? Or how about the woman with the furry hood? They all look at least as much like Elvis as that guy. First of all, Elvis was born in 1935. Does that guy really look like he's 82 years old? Secondly he died in 1977 so I have no idea why anyone keeps insisting that guy is still alive. I remember a spate of Elvis sightings during the 80's and it seemed every bit as ridiculous then. The great Mojo Nixon even wrote a song about it.  Oh hey, I think they're ready for you whackos back in the electroshock therapy room and your cages are all swept clean. I'll see you guys during the next visiting hours

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Mario Lopez is Rich?

It seems the theory that it never rains in California is false. 20 inches of rain and 12 feet of snow (there's an auto start ad) have all but effectively ended the drought that I'd been, at best, only slightly aware of, that's apparently been taking place in that said U.S. state. But that's not the real story here. No. The real story is that the rains and subsequent mudslides have damaged the home of a celebrity. Mario Lopez. The even bigger story here is that Mario Lopez can afford to own a $2 million dollar home in one of America's most expensive states. How? Why? Most of the time I'm not even aware that Mario Lopez is a person, but it seems someone is handing him bags full of cash with dollar signs on them because if you mortgage a $2 million dollar home, even with a down payment of $400,000 it has a monthly mortgage of $10,323 every month. I don't know what Mario Lopez does for a living but if you ask me it must be dealing cocaine, or ecstasy. He is wearing a baseball hat backwards maybe someone should start looking into that.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Susan Sarandon is the Bee's Knees

Susan Sarandon dressed like a sexy gangster to attend the 160th annual Television Critics Award ceremony where she was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award for the best boobs on a 70 year old. She dated Al Capone you know.

Cody Alan is Gay. Also Famous Apparently

Country music "star" Cody Alan is gay. Good for him. I really don't know why we're supposed to give a shit who is or isn't gay. Just play your stupid country music. I didn't even know this asshole existed until about seven minutes ago and now I know he's gay. Not everyone has to know who's sleeping with who all the time nobody fucking cares. The one thing I never really understood is how you go from having a wife and two kids to being gay. I couldn't be gay and have a boyfriend because I like girls. There isn't anything I want bad enough in the world that would make me pretend to be gay for even one minute, so how gay guys pretend to be straight, and even have a bunch of kids, is something I'll never understand. How did his wife get fooled? I can tell he's gay just by looking at that doctored picture that's full of muscular men in tight clothes. That picture is faked, by the way. Just so you know that's almost 150 pounds he's holding. Those weights are (supposedly) 45 pounds each and so is that bar. 45x3 =135 pounds. No one smiles that gayly while lunging with that much weight. Especially a guy that doesn't really look all that muscular. Don't believe me? Try it. Let me know how it goes. I'll dial 9 and 1 and when you call me to tell me you've broken your back I'll dial the last 1 and get an ambulance to you.