Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Madonna Topless

Madonna took off her top. I wrote this in case you wanted to yawn at a picture.

Adam Sandler Goes to Pieces

Adam Sandler was at home. On his own private property. Alone. With no one else around, shooting hoops, by himself wearing a mask and gloves. This is Howard Hughes level stuff and to the average, go to work and live your life kind of person, makes you look CrAZy. Like, hoarder level, old newspapers and garbage stacked to te ceiling crazy. Junk cars and old refrigerators on your property crazy.  This isn't a public park or a YMCA or something, this is his driveway. You guys really have to start pulling yourselves together with all of this because I have to live around you and I don't need this in my life.

Olivia Munn is 40

Olivia Munn turned 40 then put on a bikini. Hopefully all of the Olivias will have a battle royale and the last one remaining Olivia will be the ruler of the universe. If that's too mean for your liking they can all just hide and switch places every once in a while. They all look nearly identical so no one would know if they changed them out. Fuck me I really need to take a few days off from this. Staring at these grinning Jack-O'-lanterns is really starting to wear on me.

Sunday, July 5, 2020

Here's Brooke Shields. Again

Brooke Shields is in the news again. I'm not sure why, probably because she's in her late 50s and is walking around in a bikini? The stories written about her aren't really ground breaking or anything. There are no !SHOCKING! abuse revelations or lesbian affairs or geriatric pregnancies happening. I can't think of any reason beyond the bikini thing. I'm not a Hollywood insider so I don't know how any of this works, or suddenly why after not thinking about, or hearing about Brooke Shields for at least a decade and more likely almost two decades, all of the sudden she's featured fairly prominently twice in two days on one of the biggest celebrity gossip websites on the internet.

 I don't know if celebrity websites like this have a sales team that reaches out to celebrity management companies and meets with them and says, "For $50,000 we can get Brooke Shields 500,000 engagements every hour" or something like that. It wouldn't surprise me to hear that at all though because both of these Beasts - meaning celebrity/gossip sites -  feed off of each other, so for a couple of weeks you hear about Brooke Shields, the management company pays the gossip site, the gossip site gets the clicks and the ad revenue, people think Brooke Shields is popular again and she gets a sitcom pilot/ movie role, and subsequently gets paid, so her management company gets money, her show opens fails/gets cancelled and the whole thing starts all over again.

If this isn't what's happening, all of these people are actually pretty dumb because that all sounds very, very easy, and people on the internet are usually not all that bright so this really could work. On the other hand, I'm not an internet business jerk so it may all just be talking out of my ass and it's just a theory. And who knows, maybe people were just starving for Brooke Shields news.

Saturday, July 4, 2020

Kerry Katona Smash!

Kerry Katona took some "racy" pictures for her Only Fans account, then apparently, all that time during lock down getting huge drove her insane and she went on a rampage and attacked London and even flipped a bus. They have her chained up like King Kong if you want to go gawk at her.

Happy Fourth

I was going to pretend like I was taking the weekend off from this for the Independence Day holiday but who am I kidding. Writing garbage for the internet is just about the easiest thing in the world to do. Especially if no one is really reading it. For two weeks last August an escaped monkey took over this blog and you people didn't even notice. If you're celebrating, don't blow parts of your body off

Jason Momoa is Cool

Jason Momoa is going to be the voice of Frosty the Snowman in a live action/CGI remake, and I really need to find a new hobby because if it wasnt for this, I'd never know that and I'd probably be happier. I'm not linking anythig about this, so if you want to know more, go find it yourself.