Friday, April 28, 2017

Kim Kardashian is Really Gross

Here's Kim Kardashian's cartoonishly large and freakishly disgusting ass. It's vomit inducing. If you think that's attractive you need psychiatric help and I want you to stop reading this blog. Seriously. I want nothing to do with you.  She looks like some kind of Star Wars character, like maybe from the cantina scene or something. They could name her The Sarlorg or whatever. Is that a genetic flaw or what? I'm done writing about this because I need to go throw up.

Orlando Bloom Apologizes

Orlando Bloom apologized profusely for calling himself a pikey -- whatever that is -- during some BBC interview. I thought it was a fish old men in Minnesota tried to catch but I assume it's probably a slur about someone, somewhere I guess. Maybe back East who knows. "I can't believe you called me a pikey!" I can hear them screaming in Wakawalla World or maybe they use it in Zebrenostan or some other foreign pit of despair. Really you sorry bunch of losers have to come up with some better slurs. I can think of at least a half dozen good ones without even batting an eye.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

John Legend is Wrong

John Legend said that Donald Trump is the worst person he ever met in his life, apparently forgetting that he's married to Chrissy Teigen.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Julia Roberts is Beautiful

Julia Roberts is People Magazine's "Most Beautiful Woman for 2017" and not "The Most Attractive Woman Left at Last Call Just Before They Turn on the Lights" like I originally thought

Shania Twain Then and Now

Some people are asking, "Did Shania Twain get plastic surgery?" Not me of course because I forgot Shania Twain was even a thing. But I guess she was on The Voice, a show that's popular with idiots and they know how to use Twitter and some wondered if she'd had plastic surgery. If I had to guess I'd say maybe some, maybe not. Who knows, she is 51 years old and still pretty hot so who cares.  I'd be more concerned about her hair though. It looks like she went into the salon and told the girl "Give me the Late 70's Hitchhiker" Hey whatever Shania it's your head.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

It's a New Kirsten Dunst

I saw this for the first time last night and I'm not sure why Kirsten Dunst did a cover version of "Turning Japanese" but she did. And in a blue wig which, I have to tell you, makes her look really hot. I've never really thought of Kirsten Dunst was attractive until right this minute. I guess all she has to do is wear the blue wig and dress like Pokemon in a mini skirt or whatever that is for the rest of her life. Maybe it's Sailor Moon? Who knows you internet people are a bunch of fucking weirdos. I should also mention that's the first time I ever willingly sat through that whole stupid song so keep up the good work Kirsten. Maybe your next movie should just be you doing those cutesy dance moves in a blue wig/mini skirt combo. Oh sure I'd wait until I could see it for free but I'd still watch it. Probably.


Unnecessary update: I've watched this about 100 times

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Prince Died a Year Ago Friday. Still Dead.

Prince died a year ago?! Remember when everyone was freaking out and they were calling him the greatest guitarist that ever lived. Good times.