Myleene Klass is Somebody

 Oh look. Another totally average woman that thinks she's way hotter than she is, that has an Instagram page where she uploads pictures of herself in various bikinis. What will the world think of next.

Important Reese Witherspoon News!

 !!!BREAKING!!! 

Reese Witherspoon and her husband Jim Something are getting divorced. In a prepared statement Reese had this to say...

"Let's face it, the guys a fucking nerd I don't need that albatross around my neck anymore"

Sorry pal, these things happen maybe you should move on Reese already has. In fact wee have a date tomorrow. I guess you're truly out.  Better luck next time

Dua Lipa is Talented

 Dua Lipa must have a new album coming out. Know how I can tell? She put on a bikini and posted pictures everywhere. What a marvelous talent. I've still never heard even one second of a Dua Lipa song and there is no way in the world you're going to make me.

Taylor Swift Keeps on Truckin'

 The story that triggered this talked about Taylor Swift's legs, but then didn't show any pictures of Taylor Swift's legs thereby rendering this entire story moot. I had to steal that picture from Google, for all I know it's not even her body. I think they had a video at the original story or something but Taylor Swift walks like a truck driver that's why you very, very seldom see videos of Taylor Swift actually walking anywhere. Don't believe me? Just watch this. You have to pay attention it happens fast. I looked for other videos of her walking but I decided to not do that. IF you want to see them, try YouTube, you have a computer you can look yourself

A Change Gonna Come for Marvin Gaye (Yes I Know That's Sam Cooke)

 Marvin Gaye filed for divorce from his wife Jane Doe or whatever, which came as a total shock to everyone but especially me because I thought Marvin Gaye died in the 1980s. Maybe he filed in Heaven? Maybe you can't party with hot dead chicks if you're still married? I have no idea I've never read the Bible.

!!!SEXY UPDATE!!! It turns out this is Marvin Gaye III. So Marvin Gaye Jr. Jr. Jr. if you will and NOT the actual Marvin Gaye.. Godspeed Marvin Gaye the Third's marriage.

Christina Ricci is Cursed

 Christina Ricci gave up the fast paced Hollywood lifestyle to become the lady that hands out Egyptian curses when someone violates a pharaohs crypt. I hear that's not exactly something you choose to do on your own,  but it's bestowed upon you by a raven that lands on your windowsill three times during a full moon. I wish her all the best during the upcoming 4000 years.  

 I hope I spelled her name correctly, I wouldn't want her to unleash thousands of haunted scarabs in my house or whatever they do. 

Site Update

 I have two stories written but believe it or not I forgot to post them, so I'll just save them for tomorrow. They aren't really time-sensitive or anything.

By the way, the woman in that picture is 1940s and 50s era (mostly) actress Ava Gardner. I only mention it because I knew you'd never know because you people think Hollywood started with The Office or Family Guy, or whatever TV show you've allowed to become your entire personality.