Friday, April 29, 2016
Until then I happened to see a story where Kim Kardashian was late to a book signing, or a funeral or lunch or an electrolysis appointment or whatever it is she does for a living and she was running so late, that she had to wear the cover from the love seat in her house. Lucky for her it's exactly her size. I've always kind of liked that colonial inspired look. And hey, in the future if she keeps pumping out more babies she can always move up to the couch.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
W Mag" from what I think was sometime last week. Fans are upset about all the photo shopping and are blaming the magazine as if Beyonce didn't have heavily armed mercenaries pointing their guns at some poor Photoshop intern while he created that fantasy picture of Queen Bey or whatever ridiculous name she's calling herself. If you think pictures like this of Beyonce don't go out without her 100% approval they should try doubling you medication or upping the voltage on your electro-shock therapy or whatever they need to do to make sure you don't cause any harm yourself or others.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Friday, April 22, 2016
Prince died yesterday. Was it drugs? Maybe. Was it the Zika virus? According to noted medical professional Aretha Franklin, definitely yes Whatever the cause, 57 years old is too young to die. Unless you live fast and want to leave a good looking corpse. Either way people all over the internet are freaking out about it. I, not being an upper middle class white kid and also a male, on the other hand, didn't like his music at all and thought he was greasy, creepy and weird. And very short. Good night sweet Prince and yadda yadda yadda. I'd put a melancholy ending on this like a wounded teenager using one of his song titles but I don't really know any. Purple Rain? That's one. Good night sweet Prince your Purple Rain will be Goin' Crazy for all eternal purplishness you weird fucking midget.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
kaffir scarves for guys that have those Abraham Lincoln beards and ride skateboards well into their 30's.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
talking about being single and promoting her new film that I already forgot the name of and I'm not going to bother looking up. You have Google do it yourself what am I a librarian? This isn't about that anyway. This is about the fact that she's 69 years old, for real and she looks pretty damn good. And so how can I put this politely? Yes. I would....um...totally...um...bang her. Hey I was polite about it. Actually after thinking about it for 10 seconds now I'm not so sure. She's one of those pretentious New Yorker hippie dipshits so you'd probably wind up having sex on a bed of sage or under a pyramid, and with a lot of pot smoking, talking about global warming uncomfortable chanting and having to stop and vote for Bernie Sanders or God knows what else. You know what? In the end it's probably not worth the hassle.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
stopped showing nudity or stopped printing Playboy or the building burned down, or whatever happened to Playboy. I was going to write the usual "Isn't she hot?!" or maybe "My future ex-wife..." or "blah, blah, blah..." or some other smart ass and as usual, totally hilarious story but -- another six foot blonde with big boobs? -- Hurray. Maybe I'm getting old or something but after a while all these cookie cutters start to look exactly like the last "Hottest Woman in the World!" from six months ago. I'm sure she's probably very sweet, and helps blind kids or something and it's not her fault at all. I could just be in a bad mood who knows. Maybe I need to just buckle down, get to work, and look around at some other mostly naked or totally naked women that always makes me feel better. Thanks Daisy Lea for inspiring me.
Monday, April 18, 2016
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Friday, April 15, 2016
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Noted rebel Paris Jackson turned 18 and promptly became the first person in history to get a tattoo inside her lower lip. She got a Motley Crue tattoo because aside from being a rebel, she's into hip new things. By the way, Motley Crue's first album was released in 1981. Nearly two full decades before she was even born. I bet she wished she really "lived during the 80's". I just wonder if she's ever actually even seen pictures of Motley Crue. Because I'm going to guess she hasn't.
mid/late 90's that I haven't heard since roughly 1999 and I remember thinking she was kind of hot at the time in a very cute way. Well she's still pretty hot today and I guess still recording but I don't know because I don't buy music that sucks, I don't care how hot they are. Here she is performing her real passion though. Dragging decrepit pirate ghosts out of their watery graves. You're a brave woman Natalie keep up the good work.
Monday, April 11, 2016
This is Arnold Schwarzenegger's 18 year old son Joseph Baena and not an escaped freak science experiment like I originally thought. Sorry I screamed "LOOK OUT IT'S GETTING INTO A CAR!" I was just reacting. Sorry. I'm always on my toes and ready for action.