Monday, November 27, 2017
maybe she'll retire to a farm and milk goats because for some unknown reason that's become a thing to do for white millenial types. Sorry I would have just quoted it but you have to pay $1 to read that whole Washington Post story I linked and if you think I'm paying a dollar for that I'm not. And I stopped reading the Elle article after it called her "zany". Maybe Jennifer should try deer instead and they can stand around and stare at each other while they chew their cud. I'm sorry, I don't have anything against Jennifer Lawrence personally she just always looks like an emotionless robot to me. Maybe she's really just a CGI creation. Like some horny, nerdy 15 year old Star Wars fan was tasked with creating killer sex robots and came up with Model X-1 otherwise known as the Jennifer. Well I'm on to you Jennifer bot, you'll never take me to your murder farm.
Saturday, November 25, 2017
There was one story about Elizabeth Hurley in a bikini and I usually fall back on her because...well you know. But then I saw a picture of Jane Krakowski attached to some story. It wasn't this picture and I didn't read the story so she may have cured cancer for all I know. I just hated her shoes in the other picture so I found this one. Besides it looks like she's wearing just heels and a jacket and I'm going to stop writing right now before this really gets ugly.
Friday, November 24, 2017
Cheryl (no apparent last name) making a comeback of some kind. If you're wondering where she was, I think she was back in 2003 where they still do those fish lips/sideways peace sign selfies, but like I said I only skimmed it. She probably didn't take a break from whatever it is she does to get her PhD I can tell you that much.
Jennifer Lawrence and Darren Aronofsky broke up. What a shock. No reason was given that I saw, maybe he got tired of playing "tea" with her dollies. Better luck next time, I hope you two kids finally find love or whatever.
Gwen Staffaneo who is now dating or married or whatever to the world's sexiest man Blake Shedo. Lucky for us The Daily Mail keeps track of these washed up celebrities so we can keep up with what some guy is doing now.
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
a few days ago and if you don't like it maybe try a different blog. It's a pretty big internet. Is she married? Where's King Letizia? Maybe she's looking for companionship. I just so happen to know a devilishly handsome blogger that has a thing for hot monarchists. Oh wait it turns out she isn't married. Well I'll see you guys it's Thanksgiving weekend and I guess I'm on the next plane to Africa or wherever Spain is.
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
she's number 10 on this list). I knew about that for years before even that story was posted because I knew a girl that was 4'11 tall and she'd always joke about being "as tall as Shakira". I don't know maybe she really is 5' 2 after she became the world's only 40 year old that went through a growth spurt. Anyway where was I? Oh yes. She went out with a mop on her head. Why? Because celebrities are weird that's why.
Monday, November 20, 2017
Saturday, November 18, 2017
Their album Highway to Hell sold 7 million copies. In 1979. That's more than some "superstars" sell today with every conceivable type of social media, video and television help you could possibly imagine. AC/DC still has the second biggest selling album of all time with Back in Black selling more than 40 million copies second only to Michael Jackson's Thriller. And we're talking in 1980. Assholes like Beyonce sell a measly 500,000 albums and we're told how she's changing the world. Times change I guess. That's the way it goes. See you Malcolm.
Friday, November 17, 2017
Thursday, November 16, 2017
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
on Instagram, and you may be wondering why I care. And if you are wondering why this would make me happy, maybe wait until after the holidays to break the news to your parents.
prefer younger men...
I always go for younger men... I'm very silly.'Sure, "younger" men. She's rumored to be dating some dipshit named Olly (?). There's only one problem. He's 33 years old. I know mathematically he's younger but c'mon. By the time my Uncle Al was 33 years old he fought in two wars, was married and was on his second kid. By age 33 even I had a job and a mortgage and I'm a goddamn imbecile. I don't know maybe I'm behind the times. Look Melanie, when you're done fooling around with the kids I have a more mature man in mind for you. It's my neighbor John. Nice guy. He's a pretty good carpenter too.
Monday, November 13, 2017
some kind of cigarette girl in Mexico. Maybe working the cock fights who knows. And once again I think maybe it's time America reconsider it's stance on having a royal family. Of course knowing us we'd probably get the chance to pick a queen and it would probably wind up being Rosie O'Donnell or one of those other loudmouths from The View. Way to go America.
This story asks "Has Debra Messing had plastic surgery?" Yes. She has. Next question. Is the sky blue? Yes it is. Let's face it if I had the money I would too. Not now of course I'm at the peak of my handsomeness, but some day maybe. If it's necessary. Which I doubt. And I don't know why I'm seeing her everywhere lately, wasn't she on some sitcom like 20 years ago? The problem with some famous people is they never seem to stop being famous, even after you've long forgotten what got them there in the first place. I don't remember what show she was on so I'll just remember her being a world famous motocross champion since I think that would make her a lot hotter anyway.
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Saturday, November 4, 2017
Friday, November 3, 2017
arrested for drunk driving early this morning. A New York Police Department spokesperson says...
“[He was] in the vicinity of Hamilton Avenue driving recklessly at a high rate of speed causing a dangerous condition while racing another vehicle within the confines of the 72 precinct,” the spokesperson says.He faces 15 charges in total, including reckless endangerment, drag racing, DUI, driving without a valid license, unsafe lane changing, aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, following too close, and speeding. All of which probably come with surprisingly harsh punishments. I knew this one lady that got her third DUI and they put her in prison for three years. Not jail. Prison. For three years. Well, whatever they decide they better hurry up and fine him while he still has money.