Monday, March 18, 2013

Happy Birthday Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria turns 38 years old today. Yes 38. What that means is, if you're a high school senior reading this, she could very easily be your mother. And you can trust me, if your 38 year old mother looks like that while she's doing the dishes, I'm going to try to have sex with her. I don't really have a joke here because this was more of a fact filled kind of story.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Aerosmith or Old Lesbians?

Fucking clowns.

Rick Springfield CAN Get Arrested in This Town


"Arrested this am on a bench warrant. I didn't know that I was supposed appear in court a few weeks ago. It was to do with the old DUI charge and it's been cleared up and i am free to go. ... Life is not boring. XOXO"
They should charge him with crimes against humanity. And I was going to make some jokes involving Rick Sprinfield "songs" but who the fuck knows any Rick Springfield songs?