Kristen Stewart is Different

 They said Kristen Stewart "doesn't look like this anymore" (Left photo) and then posted a picture of two people and either one of them could be Kristen Stewart so I guess they're correct since I have zero idea which one she is.

I also think Kristen Stewart is probably a nice person but who gives a fuck about her anymore. Kristen Stewart hasn't been in a movie or anything else that I've been aware for what has to be 15 years at least and there MUST be a reason for that. The only time I even remember Kristen Stewart is when The Daily Mail writes about her. Then 10 minutes later I forget again
 

She's white, she's female, she's gay... she seems ideal by Hollywood standards so if she isn't working she's either retired, or kills kittens in her spare time and nobody wants to be connected with that

So which is it Kristen?

Christina Aguilera Haunts London

Somebody rubbed a haunted scarab after they opened a secret tomb in Egypt and Christina Aguilera crawled out and flew to London. Why, you ask? It was for some play, or musical about burlesque or Chicago or some other dumb thing literally nobody knows or cares about.

I was going to say she kind of looks like Linnea Quigley in Night of the Demons but even with her demon face Linnea Quigley is hot as fuck.  This isn't the clip I wanted to post but even this one was kind of hard to find so I hope you watch it. And if you stumble on the clip I was looking for let me know. How will you know? Oh you'll know.  

Kendra Wilkinson is a Lesbian Now

 Sexy update number 2!!!

A lot of this seems mean even for me. I must've been in a really bad mood  that day

 

Okay so maybe she isn't technically a lesbian but she is done with men... 

Kendra made the comments in a new Instagram post: 'I appreciate all the love and support,' began her message on Insta Stories.'I don't have interest in men at the moment. Just work. Thank you for supporting my business,'

If she can't find a man, maybe she should check under the biscuits and gravy at the breakfast buffet. She's 40 why would you do this to yourself. My friends hit their 40s and instantly started looking like Santa Claus, I just don't get it, but it seems to be a common theme. 

And don't say I'm being mean the ONLY reason we even know who she is is because she was fucking hot and looked awesome naked.  

I'm not saying I'M anything special but Jesus Christ, go for a walk or something. In this day and age if you do even the bare minimum you might live to be 100 years old, but if you need a mobility scooter to go to WalMart you can forget that

 And no I'm not at all suggesting she's fat at all at that point but she is 40 now and getting in shape after 40 is 20 times harder than it was when you were 22. But you get OUT of shape 30 times faster too. Not me though I'll look good forever

Jennifer Lopez is Done for Me

I don't want to write about Jennifer Lopez. I had a story idea saved, but it's 2025 now and seriously, who gives a shit about her anymore. 

You're 55 years old now, take your $400 million and rescue animals or something why do you want to keep showing up at these "events".  What could be the appeal for people doing this long after their "careers" have ended. Think about it, what's the last thing you remember about Jennifer Lopez. I just do not get it.  

There are people alive today that already basically don't know who you she is aside from the fact that she was married to Ben Affleck. And nobody really even remembers him now either. Go. Be gone.

Happy Birthday Jessica Simpson

SEXY UPDATE!!!

the following three stories were actually written many days ago and then some personal events took place. Sorry. Nothing I write here is ever really important anyway so read them or don't. I'm not your mother
 

 Jessica Simpson turned 45 (!) on July 10th and she's still hot as fuck. I don't want to say she's perfect, physically at least, but she's pretty close, even without all the filters, photo shop and black &white BS she used on her Instagram.  

Just imagine how hot you'd look if you quit all the drinking and the pills you chug like they're going to make them illegal on Monday.

!!!SHOCKING!!! Simone Biles is a Bully

 

Simone Biles is a bully and for proof somebody named MyKayla Skinner spilled the beans...

Well, throughout my career, there have been many times when I have been belittled and bullied by Simone and have wanted to keep quiet for the other athletes,' she told Fox.

And there have been multiple times through my Olympic journey and through camps, training, everything that we have gone through where she has come and belittled all of us. I’ve wanted to stay silent through this because she has a huge platform.

Anybody that's surprised that a (formerly) teenaged Olympic gymnast/cheerleader is an arrogant, bullying shit-head really needs to get out more.  You're really surprised to hear this? This comes as shocking news to you? You can tell she's a Mean Girl just by looking at her.

Europe Sucks

 Imagine caring about this. This... THIS, is what your European "betters" care about. An ex-soccer player and a woman that was in a make believe girl group 31 years ago. They'll click on a story like this in the "pub" while they throw darts and talk about werewolves and then make fun of Americans for being awesome. Enjoy your pretend "free" healthcare while you pay a 40-45% tax rate on income over £100,000 which in America is just a  little more than the salary of the garbage man