The World's Most Expensive Sex Toy

At $15,000 this is supposed to be the world's most expensive sex toy. That's funny, I thought the world's most expensive sex toy was my first ex. A house, two cars, all the money in my bank account, the dog. Maybe if I didn't call her "sex toy"...Oh well. Live and learn.

$150,000? Really?

I've never seen this show, but I know the internet loves it or hates it or something. To be honest, I only pay attention to what the internet says when it's something I wrote, and even then I'm only half paying attention at best, because the internet is stuffed with retards. But I'm not really doing anything right now so I thought I'd just put this up to ruin your day. I figure it's almost noon so if you're reading this at all (you're not), it's from inside your suicide inducing, soul crushing, windowless, gray walled cubicle, wondering which bills you can blow off this week after you get paid slaving 1/3 of your daily life away.
  
So here ya go...

Honey Boo Boo Child net worth and salary: Honey Boo Boo Child net worth: Honey Boo Boo Child’s net worth is $150 thousand dollars and her family is paid salary of $20,000 per episode.

 $20,000 per episode. So, every week, TLC pays these people almost half of what the average American family earns all year. Have fun picking up your $600 paycheck (after taxes) on Friday, and remember, Honey Boo Boo's family are the idiots.

The Tardis by Kim Kardashian

 Kim Kardashian posted a photo on Instagram of one of the dresses that I guess are part of her clothing line. It's pretty easy to see what the selling point of this dress will be. Some nerds out there will recognize the new name of this dress. "The Tardis". It looks smaller on the outside than it actually is.

Jerry Sandusky Got 30 to 60 years

Good. I hope he suffers every day.

Former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky was today sentenced to spend no less than 30 years in prison for child sex abuse charges, effectively meaning he will spend the rest of his life in jail.

 I'm Guessing he probably will.

Lady Gaga Has Bulimia

Okay, maybe not really but she did throw up on stage in Barcelona during a concert. Thank God she was probably lip-syncing so there was no real break in the music. It's a possibility the sound guy accidentally turned the stage monitors up too loud and she finally got a chance to actually hear the music. That guy should probably start getting his resume together.

MTV's Originality Continues

Midget bodyguard pioneer David Lee Roth with his prototypes

I guess the host of this year's MTV Video Music Awards Kevin Hart had midget bodyguards. That's something I've never seen before. Still...I guess you don't need full size bodyguards when not that many people know who you are.

Russel Crowe Got Lost

Russel Crowe, who, according to that picture, is the illegitimate son of Bill Murray, and Santa Claus, went kayaking of the coast of New York and managed to get lost...

He just needed a little bit of help, he just got a little lost," Swieciki said. "It wasn't really a rescue, really, more of just giving someone a lift."Swieicki said no one was injured, and the two men were wearing life vests. He said the actor, who was grateful and friendly, seemed like he was a fairly experienced kayaker.

They were on the beach. In New York. Lost. I'm glad the Coast Card didn't have anything better to do than give a lift to a couple of dumb shits that couldn't walk a few blocks and call a cab.