Alan Arkin. Dead.

 Alan Arkin dired. Again. I say "again" because I thought he died 15 years ago. Life comes at you fast, I guess. But so does death. What a crazy thing. He was 89.

Jennifer Aniston is Super

 They described Jennifer Aniston as "going incognito" and they're right. I'd absolutely never recognize her. Is that Clark Kent? How did they even know that was her? What was the giveaway? Was it the "three body guards that surrounded her"?  I can just hear her now. "I need to get some milk but I don't want anyone to know it's me so I better bring only three bodyguards." 

No mention was made of what was going on here, but judging by her surroundings my guess is a movie set or something like that, so it's not like they caught her out roller skating or something.

Joy Corrigan is Memorable

Here's Joy Corrigan in a bikini. I guess that's a bikini I don't know. I saved this a week and a half ago and have zero memory of the context, what she was doing, or why this was important. I don't even really know why I know who she is.

Eiza Gonzalez is the Winner

 I had to choose between writing about Taylor Swift, and Eiza Gonzalez. guess who won. Taylor Swift is okay I guess,  but you get the idea she would talk about you behind your back to all of her girlfriends. That's really not cool Taylor why don't you grow up.

Christina Aguilera Blows Up

I'm not writing about Christina Aguilera anymore. I mean, who fucking cares.  By the way I just whipped this together because I have a Selena Gomez thing but it seems kind of mean so I don't know...

!!BREAKING Catt Sadler News!!

Catt Sadler got a facelift. She got a facelift ad then said she doesn't care what people think about it and to that I say good for her. If you have the means and can get this shit done, do it. Why wouldn't you? I'd never heard of her before and in fact, for a minute,  I thought she was Madeleine Stowe who, for a while, I thought was just about the hottest human female on Earth.  Until I found out she was married to Brian Benben. I mean the guy is a fucking nerd. Listen Madeleine, this isn't working out maybe we should see other people.

Denise Austin is Attractive

I just stopped by on a Saturday to remind you that Denise Austin is 66 years old. The picture on the left is from 1993 and the one on the right is from the other day. Okay, well I hope you feel better, I'll be back this afternoon or Monday I haven't decided. Maybe never who knows I'm a real wild card.

Eva Longoria is Going Places

 

Eva Longoria was with Edward James Olmos who - so help me god - I thought died 20 years ago, but I guess he didn't. Unless those Hollywood freaks turned him into some kind of macabre puppet. Anyway she was there for the premier of a movie (?) she directed called Flamin' Hot. And man she is just about as hot as they come. Plus she's 5'1 and over 35. Once again I'd like to point out how none of these women seem to ever actually be or go anywhere with their "husbands" which is fine with me so it looks like all I have to do is get to Hollywood somehow.

 

 

Jennifer Lawrence is a Mixed Bag

 So Jennifer Lawrence is very attractive. Too bad she's a fucking dunce.  Still, you can't see intelligence on the big screen, that's how these people get away with collecting seven and ten figure paychecks while having a fourth grade education. And think about how she's smarter than half the audience. That's truly terrifying. And the weird thing is, she seems super cool. There's a very weird thing going on here that I can't explain.

Avril Lavigne is in the Headlights

I wasn't going to write about Avril Lavigne again since no one has cared about Avril Lavigne since probably 2006, but people in England still talk about her for some reason. Listen, we saved those people from Hitler once already,  I don't see why we need to help them get better celebrities now too. At some point you have to stand on your own two feet.

Jane Seymour is Up There

 I'll have virtually no computer access until after 5pm today so I'm writing this just to let you know that Jane Seymour is 72 years old. Identical in age to my mom. In fact she could be my mom's best friend. You know, like in all those movies? Her and my mom are hanging out and my mom gets called away suddenly leaving Jane all by herself in the house and she sees me digging a hole with my shirt off and well... you know how this ends. Mostly with me crying and apologizing but you get the picture

Megan Fox Gets it Off Her Chest

 Megan Fox said some stuff while everyone stared at her tits. For all anyone knows she revealed the secret to eternal life. Actually it had something to do with how her pre-teen sons are cross dressing as girls or something because no one just lives a normal life, and plays Wiffle Ball or marbles or that hoop and stick thing or whatever anymore

Rochelle Humes is Somebody

 Rochelle Humes stood around in a bikini. She's a "TV presenter" in England, so she must've worn her bikini in Greece or something because it never really gets warmer than 60 degrees in England. I went to England last June for a wedding and it was like walking around in Chicago in October the whole time. She's on some TV show in England but I don't know what.

England seems to have a lot of famous people there, but it just seems like it because the English gossip rags talk about every newscaster there like they were in Star Wars or something...

 "Here's the 1am-5am weather presenter Penelope Jones-Smythe going to the shop in a mini dress and high heels!" 

I don't know who she's dating but if I had to guess it's probably some soccer player or F1 racer since those are the two big British industries. Second only to drunken 23 year olds. Why don't you come to America Rochelle, I can do big things for you here as far as you know

 

Donna D'Errico Looks Different

Donna D'Errico is uuuhhh... How did they even know that was her. Are they sure these aren't two different people?

Saweeite's Fame Balloons

 Saweetie - or however you spell it -  and her gigantic ass are dating some rapper you never heard of named "YG".  I hope he put her in his will before he gets shot to death outside of a Denny's at 3am for his Chrysler 300. I'm not even sure what it is she does, and I've actually written about her before. I am NOT going back to find out what I said, because frankly I don't know how she's managed to stay famous for even this long. So many people are famous rappers now I might even be one and I just don't know it yet.