Kyle Richards Vacations

Kyle Richards was in Mexico doing this. Why? Who knows, maybe they were on a break from filming a MILF porn. I think that's what she does for a living, but I can't be sure. What am I, the Library of Congress?

Joe Jonas is Stylish

Joe Jonas was out walking around, dressed like this on purpose. They didn't say anything about where he was, or where he was going, so you can see what I'm up against when it comes time to write this junk. They could at least ask him why he's dressed that way. Maybe he joined the "Special Army". Hey you never know, there are a lot of secrets in the world they don't tell us about.

Lady Grande Goes Gaga

Lady Gaga and Julianna Grande or whatever the fuck her name is wore masks while they performed at the MTV Video Music Awards. Too bad you could still hear them. I didn't know they still did the VMAs, but I guess they do, there's the proof. I find it extremely difficult to believe that anyone pays attention to these anymore, but obviously someone does.Okay well, see you next year I guess.

Mary J Blige is Here

I thought Mary J Blige was dead. I have no idea who I keep confusing these people with.

Brad Pitt Plays With Fire

Brad Pitt has a new girlfriend. Her name is Nicole Poturalski. He's 56, and she's 27. And married. That sounds complicated. No thanks. She's cute and all but you don't need that shit in your life Brad. You're Brad Pitt. Dude. Keep looking. I have to admit I didn't think you were this dumb but c'mon man, married?  Hey you know, whatever. I guess if it works, it works. I'm including two links from different sources in case they say something different but they won't. I don't know man, you gotta do what's right for you.  I think you're asking for problems but it's your life.

Cara Santana Goes to the Beach

I don't feel like doing this today. I barely slept and I'm super anxious for absolutely no reason I can think of. You know how when you take a bunch of speed or cocaine and you're all jittery and can't sit still and your mind races, and you think the cops are after you? That's how I feel. I can't afford drugs so at least this is natural thank God.

 Thankfully Cara Santana showed up on the beach wearing a bikini. A polka dot bikini. It's official. These people are doing this on purpose. Who would have imagined, celebrity superstar actresses would be reading this blog and want to please me by constantly wearing polka dots. I can't think of any other reason they would be doing this. Be honest, can you? No. You can't. I appreciate it everyone.

Wilmer Valderrama For the Ladies

Wilmer Valderrama went for a run with his shirt off. You know, for the ladies. Maybe his roller blades were broken. In case you don't know, he was on "That 70's Show", and if you're uner the age of 21 you may not because that show went off the air 15 years ago. By the way, he was the guy with the accent. Balki? I think? Something like that. Apparently he's 40 so that's why this is news. Well there you go, 40 year old goes running with his shirt off. TA-DAH!