Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Hungry for Justice

I'm sure everyone's heard by now of king sized super villain Kim Dotcom. The Megaupload founder who's had a run of bad luck lately, when he was arrested for doing something besides sweating, smelling like cheese (probably) and having sex with a woman that otherwise wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire except for the little fact that he personally earned $115,000 a day.

Kim Dotcom, the man atop what federal prosecutors allege is a $175 million worldwide Internet piracy operation, passed his 38th birthday this weekend in a New Zealand jail awaiting a court appearance today on charges prosecutors brought from a grand jury in U.S. District Court in Virginia.

But the worst part of all of this - besides losing a parking lot full of cars, a house big enough for a really fat guy, a plane, and a mildly hot wife for a guy as rich as he was - as I hear it on the internet is that he's gonna lose his lofty position as the number one rank in Call of Duty Something Something.  

Dotcom, plays Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 under the name MEGARACER. And on New Year's Eve, MEGARACER managed to become the number 1 ranked player in the world -- no small feat for a game that sold over 15 million copies (and no small irony, considering he ran a site responsible for sharing illegal copies of the game).Thanks to his brush with the law, however, he's slipped to the number 2 spot, usurped by a most-definitely-not-in-jail gamer named Azaros. Seeing as how Dotcom's been denied bail -- he's been deemed an 'extreme flight risk' -- it looks like Azaros' score is pretty safe for now.

Wow. At home on New Year's Eve playing a video game. A far cry from my original vision of him in his cavernous lair planning ways to dominate the planet surrounded by Dobermans, and henchmen and instead he's sitting on a flattened chair surrounded by Mountain Dew and Doritos bags. But wait! That might just come in handy! Because his defense lawyer claims he's just too damned fat to be a flight risk! 

"He is not the sort of person who will pass unnoticed through our customs and immigration lines and controls,' said lawyer, Paul Davison"

I would guess he probably wouldn't pass "through" anything. But at least the internet, shitty music, and movies are safe from being passed around for free. Oh. Well that was fast.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks a lot, I'm probably going to be 'detained' after visiting your link for megaupload. Lots of official seals there now.

    Nice knowing you, I'll let you know how Cuba is this time of year.