Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Perfect Man

That weird looking dude is what some women would consider to be the perfect face for a man. Given a bunch of parts from different actors (Aiden Turner, Colin Firth, Jamie Dornan, and Leonardo DiCaprio - the only one I've ever even heard of by the way)  and women pieced together his face and apparently came up with Michael Landon from I Was a Teenage Werewolf. Hey whatever floats your boat I'm not here to judge.

Ghost Adventurers Become Ghosts

 Mark and Debby Constantino were found dead in their apartment after a brief stand off with police  after waht appears to be a domestic violence thing
 The bodies of a man and woman found in a barricaded apartment by police investigating an earlier Reno homicide were an estranged husband and wife who appeared as ghost hunters in the television show “Ghost Adventures.”
I've heard of the show but have never seen it. I have seen shows like it though and one of the causes of hauntings is when people die a violent death so maybe Scooby Doo and his gang or whoever is on that show should go back and ask them a bunch of questions now.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Christina Ricci is Dressed Up

Christina Ricci dressed up like Morticia Adams and I don't really care why all I can say is yes please I'd like to have Christina Ricci's baby. I saw the picture and that was enough because I'm not going to read that story and have to listen to a bunch of weirdos that like The Addams Family, and horror conventions, and think Rob Zombie is a great artist Jesus some of you people are morons.

Update: The picture is a fake.  

Update 2: I don't care

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Khloe Kardashian Does Something in a Blue Outfit

I know I said I wouldn't write about the Kardashians anymore but as I was flipping around looking for stories I saw this picture and my first thought was, all the Kardashians look like a girl that a 14 year old boy from the West Side of Chicago would build in his basement. Kinda of like Weird Science only instead of a computer the doll is hooked up to the battery of a Cadillac Escalade and a bottle of Hennessy

Here's Orlando Bloom Again

Orlando Bloom visited a topless beach with his dog. Am I the only one that sees this? And wasn't he in Lord of the Rings? I really have no idea. If it wasn't for the Daily Mail I wouldn't even remember he was alive. I know I'm out of touch and I don't get to see many movies any more but thank God Hollywood is willing to give gynecomastia sufferers a fair shake. Keep up the good work Orlando we're all proud of you!

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Survivor Has on Their Fighting Beret

 The surviving members of the band Survivor are none too happy about Kim Davis using their song "Eye of the Tiger" after she was released from jail and frankly I'm not really sure why she did but she did and well, here we are.
 "NO! We did not grant Kim Davis any rights to use 'My Tune - The Eye Of The Tiger.' I would not grant her the rights to use Charmin! C'mom [sic] Mike, you are not The Donald but you can do better than that."
I have zero idea what he's talking about and I don't know what your politics are and frankly I don't care I'm not wading into this political swamp but I will say except in the case of being used as background music for clubbing bags full of five week old kittens I'd think at this point Survivor would be glad somebody used their music for anything.

Katy Perry Does Stuff

Katy Perry put her head in a terrible wig and her hands in cement at that Chinese theater which I didn't think they did anymore but I guess they do. And afterward she went to some sort of gay goth prom with that guy that helped kidnap William H Macy's wife in the movie Fargo.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Bob Geldof Wants To Help

 Bob Geldof had a very minor hit in the US about 40 years ago and organized Live Aid the money from which probably did more harm than good, and also might explain why somebody most people have never heard of could afford such massive homes. Hey I'm not saying anyone stole anything but really, have you seen those places?

Anyway, being the humanitarian he is, Bob Geldof offered to move four Syrian refugee families into his castles.  Wow four?! Where will he put them all?

'I'm prepared - I'm lucky, I've a place in Kent and a flat in London - me and (partner) Jeanne would be prepared to take three families immediately in our place in Kent and a family in our flat in London, immediately, and put them up until such time as they can get going and get a purchase on their future.'

There's no real joke here I just hope someone keeps an eye on this snob and holds him to his little grandstanding promise.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Hey Big Lips

I was going to write something hilarious about Kris Jenner's giant lip but you know what? I'm not doing it anymore. Even if only one person ever reads this garbage every day I'm not going to be paying attention to, or promoting these useless skin tags in any way anymore. No more Kim, no more Kloe, No more about that idiotic high school moron Kyle or whatever the fuck her name is.  I've had it with them. I'm not going to write about these idiots any more. Unless I can think of something really funny. But for now I just really want them to go away.

Bryan Randall is a Stud

Sandra Bullock's new 49 year old bad ass boyfriend, Bryan Randall (if that is his real name) has another one of those dad bods the girl's are always talking about and he proves it by wearing the same jeans he wore in 1988. In case you were wondering I'm the one he was talking to on the phone. We're going to meet up at The Whiskey a Go Go and check out some cool bands, maybe pick up some chicks you know, bad boy stuff.