Jennifer Love Hewitt NUDE

 Jennifer Love Hewitt posted a make up free selfie for reasons I no longer remember. I don't know, she looks fine to me. And I can guarantee if she didn't look fine, she wouldn't have done this. Posting make up free selfies isn't the huge deal you think it is if you're good looking to begin with

 

Millie Bobby Brown is Old

 

They said fans were left "baffled" by Millie Bobby Brown's "real" age when it was "revealed" she's "21". Most people said they thought she was a decade older than that. And do you know why you thought that? Because she is. That's a 31 -- at least -- year old woman. They said all of this while she was standing next to her "22" year old husband (no known photographs). You believe that? Some 21 year old is married? In Hollywood? In 2025? 

I've been alive for a while now, and I've lived in the third largest city in the country for most of my life. I've had multiple jobs, and owned multiple businesses and done all kinds of crazy shit, and do you know how many 21 year olds I've met that were married? Out of all the uncountable thousands of people I've ever met in my lifetime?

One.

So be real. A 21 year old is a junior in college. Does the woman in that picture really look like a junior in college to you? If it does you need to leave the house once in a while. Plus she's hot, and I'm not attracted to woman that are under 35 and my Sex Radar would let me know if she was. I honestly don't understand this age shaving that's still going on in this day and age but that's the world we live in. So she's 34 (that would be my guess) who gives a shit. I'm not even sure why I know the name Millie Bobby Brown, until about 10 minutes ago I thought he was a rapper in the 80s or something. 

Emma Stone is on Fire

 

 

They said everyone is freaking out over Emma Stone's new haircut. I'm not sure why, I dig chicks with short hair I just think it makes them more...interesting? Confident? I'm not sure.

And I'm not sure when or how Emma Stone became the new Joan of Arc but for some reason she seems to be treated that way by people on the internet. Of course, you people are a bunch of dumbasses so I can't say that surprises me all that much

 

SEXY UPDATE

Something is wrong with the link (the yellow words) and I'm not fixing it. If you need to know more about Emma Stone's haircut you need to get a life

DOGE Team Begins the Life of an Adult

 Everyone calling those DOGE people "Too young" are forgetting one thing. They are actually adults. In fact most of the DOGE team are much older than the ones they showed on TV.  The oldest person I saw listed was 57 years old and the average age - without doing the math - looks to be somewhere in the mid-30s to mid-40s.

 Even if that wasn't the case, so what? By 24 I had a girlfriend I was living with and had been out of my parents house for years at that point, and was fully supporting myself with a job. You know, just like a grown up. Paying bills... watching cable TV... owning a couch... all kinds of things a grown up does. And by 25 I'd started my first business. I was the owner, president, and CEO of a (very small) company that provided services to other people for money. I had letters of incorporation, and an accountant... Just like a grown up. And I'm not some ancient relic from the past that just got discharged from the service after fighting in the South Pacific, or Korea. And you know why I did all of that? Because I was a grown up.

In fact most of my older - some now long gone - relatives fought in a gigantic world war and were back and raising families, some of them even before they were 24. I had on Uncle that fought in TWO wars. All before he was 24. So what, are they worried about the health of these nerdy 24 year olds?

 I don't know when people started calling 24 year olds "babies" but they're doing that. I'd guess it all started in the early-ish 2000s when people were allowed to stay on their parents health insurance until they were 26 or 27. It infantilized everyone. Now you got 30 year olds that still live in their room and eat microwaveable dinosaur shaped chicken nuggies for dinner. And theses same people are calling people with real jobs and wives, and sometimes children "too young". Too young for what? Prostate problems? 

Anyway, I don't know what the psychological problem the people railing against these guys have but I bet alcohol has a ton to do with it

Sydney the Ring Girl gets Famous AND IS NUDE

 Sydney Something is trying to make the adjustment to sudden "fame" after she was the ring girl for the Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson fight which I'd already forgot even happened. Don't worry, as attractive as you are, your "fame" is going to be very, very short lived so don't get adjusted too fast. I accidentally closed the source story too quickly less than five minutes ago and I already forgot your last name. 

I'm not trying to be mean but if you think you're the only cute blonde with big tits and nice abs you need to scroll Instagram or any random porn site for about 10 minutes some day, so I hope you're super cool or something on top of all of your physical attractiveness.

!!!SEXY UPDATE!!! 

I just spent multiple minutes scrolling around looking for the original story so I could link it for you guys but I can't find it now. If you want to know more about her, just type "Sydney Ring Girl" or something into Google. Let me know what you find if you feel like it although it's not really necessary.

Jason Momoa Update

Remember Jason Momoa? Boy I sure do. Well here he is again doing something for SNL. I'm sure glad I get these once yearly updates about what Jason Momoa is doing. His girlfriend is cute. I guess. Way to go dude. He's probably cool. Maybe he isn't honestly I don't care one way or the other

Brooks Nader is 29 going on 40

 I was sort of flipping around looking at various "news" when I saw something about a television show called The White Lotus. It's the latest bottom of the barrel kind of garbagey tripe you people get obsessed with for some reason, and they mentioned model Brooks Nader along with a lot of other people that are in it that I've also never heard of. 

Anyway I thought Brooks Nader was hot so I looked her up and here's an interesting stat. They said she's 29. I literally gasped when I saw that. You know why? Because Brooks Nader- as hot as she it - hasn't been 29 since probably 2011. I'll say again what I've said 100 times. I don't care if she's 29 or 69 but this kind of lie is an infuriating insult to the intelligence of anyone that has an even half-functional brain. It's not important you say? It was important enough for the original story to mention it, I'm just a counter-point. And by the way, I've been correct before.

Oh wait a minute I just found out The White Lotus has Sydney Sweeney in it too. Maybe I should be watching this is what I would say if I was a mental patient. Anyway, Happy future birthday Brooks, whenever you say that is. 

Taylor Swift. The Lady in Red

 Taylor Swift was also at the Grammys. She's hot, right? Her music is mediocre and forgettable on it's best day, but you people are morons that lap this shit up like a stray cat that hasn't eaten in three days so they keep making more.

Like I said I didn't watch this shit show so a bomb could have gone off that blew off Bono's wig and I wouldn't know it.

Sheryl Crow Alive. Still Hot

 Sheryl Crow was at the Grammys last night. Why? I don't have the first idea. I forgot they still did the Grammys so I don't understand who could possibly give a shit about the Grammys in this day and age. Like I said, I forgot they were on, I forgot they existed, and I have no idea why Sheryl Crow was there. I haven't heard or thought about Sheryl Crow in almost 30 years. I also didn't realize Sheryl Crow was 63 years old. She's still hot so she could be 73 for all I care.

But at 63 years old why do you give a shit about this crap. You have an estimated net worth of $70 million dollars, why aren't you in a garden somewhere feeding butterflies with milkweed or whatever 63 year old multi-millionaires do. I know exactly ONE Sheryl Crow song so I have no idea how she managed to bank $70 million dollars off of that, who is buying all of these albums? The Chinese government that's who