Sean Penn, 64, has a new girlfriend named Velaria Nicov and TA DAH! She's THIRTY FOUR years younger than he is. You all know how I feel about age gaps, especially when the younger of the participants is in their 30s, so I'm going to skip that scolding this time and talk about how I've been hearing for literal years how Sean Penn is a barely sentient brain stem that can barely tie his own shoes (allegedly), and is also a raging asshole (also allegedly) who's head looks like one of those apples you used to carve and dry out to make imaginary shrunken heads (that's a fact).
But Sean Penn apparently has a net worth of around $70 million dollars so maybe all that other stuff doesn't matter. Then again this dude scored Robin Wright and Madonna when she was hot, so maybe there's something more to this a-hole than money that I don't see. Don't ask me to explain how women think
