You mean to tell me that, that person is one year older than Jennifer Aniston and four years younger than Elizabeth Hurley? Please. Don Johnson seems cool enough I guess, I don't know. And I have no issues with age gaps, how young or old someone is or looks, or anything involving someone's personal life and details. Those kinds of things concern people with tiny minds, my problem is the lying. I guess they don't mind lying to you because you're stupid and they know it.
Denise Richards showed off her new boobs. Well, kind of showed off. I guess one of her original ones ruptured, probably during a pillow fight, so she had them fixed, and then decided you needed to see them, and thus we have arrived here.
Denise Richards is hot for being 54 years old. I hate that qualifier because let's face it Denise Richards has always been hot. If you're 54 right now and have never been hot, you're not going to be now. Sorry to break that to you. Looking good past 45 requires planning and a lifetime of diet and exercise you didn't bother doing. Instead you opted for riding on the back of your overweight husband's full dress Harley while you both wear Crocs,while blasting Led Zeppelin on your way to that local bar with the umbrella tables on the patio where everyone plays bag games. You think I don't know? You're like the 40th couple I'll see that looks like that in Chicago just this week
That's why people say things like "She looks good for 54". It's because they never really looked good so they say that like being hot at 54 is a bad thing. It's mostly a female thing because nobody hates women more than other women so there's always those kind of backhanded compliments, as in "Wow you look great even though you put on some weight" or "That top looks nice it really hides all of your scars". Jesus Christ being a woman must be fucking exhausting
True story. I owned a business and all of the employees were women between the ages of 21 and 30 and it nearly drove me quite literally to have a nervous breakdown. It's a slow Chinese water torture kind of existence. With all that constant stress, I have no idea how women manage to live longer than men.
Guys, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. You don't seriously care what these a-holes do, do you? I've been doing this in one form or another for like 15 years now at some point... Maybe I'm just in a mood.
SEXY UPDATE!!!
I guess that's The Backstreet Boys? Like are you fucking serious? It's nice to see the person in charge of their costumes thinks they're making a low budget science fiction movie in 1982.
Jessica Alba's ex, Cash Warren has a new 26 year old girlfriend. I had to close my browser before I caught her name so I'll just call her Heatherleigh, which seems as likely as anything. She's obviously easily manipulated because she believes Cash Warren is famous for something besides being married to Jessica Alba. And Heatherleigh up there is in for a rude awakening once Cash's spousal support runs out. He won't even be able to buy new chain wallets, he sure isn't going to pay for your Porsche sweetie.
Still, she's obviously very attractive so I can't really blame the guy. I mean if I was in his position I'd be dating her too. I've made my position on "age gaps" very clear, but unfortunately for me I wouldn't even know where to meet a 26 year old woman. Will she be in line to see Santa Claus? Shoplifting bracelets from Claire's? It's just one of life's unanswerable mysteries
They didn't say what they were doing, but if you asked me I'd guess they stopped to collect her "Shittiest New Artist Award" before being the oldest couple in the shopping mall parking lot in their used Nissan GTR to hang out with all the Fast and Furious kids in lime green Honda Civics
Take my word for it, I didn't want to write yet another story about Eva Longoria in a bikini at the beach again, but you people sure do like to click on them.
And what exactly does Eva Longoria do that she has an estimated net worth of $80 million dollars? The only thing I ever see get talked about with her is when she's walking around Spain in a bikini. Can you make $80 million dollars doing that? I assume you can because no one ever mentions her new movies or television shows.
And let's be real here. Eva Longoria is hot yes, but she's in Spain. Have you ever seen the women in Spain? They say the ladies are insane there, and they sure know how to use it. They don't abuse it. Never gonna lose it. I can't refuse it.
Anyway, you have seen the women from Spain and I bet you don't even know it. My friend Adrian from Mexico said all those Mexican telenovela /soap opera women and those weather girls you see all over the internet all the time aren't actually Mexican, they're Spanish. So in Spain on a scale of 1-10, Eva Longoria is essentially a five. This doesn't change my love for her it's just a reality check. For both of us. You have competition with me now Eva, I'm just saying
Patricia Arquette cut off all of her hair. I don't know why she did this or why it was considered news, but she did and here it is. I bet she cut it all off so she could play that mean girl's gym teacher in the Porky's remake. I realize everybody gets older but this doesn't even look like the same human being. And keep in mind she's nearly six years younger than Elizabeth Hurley.
Like William Shatner, maybe they change so much as they age because of the deal they made with Satan to become famous it's really the only logical explanation
I hate living in an era when some woman with nice tits can wear a bikini and I have to write about it but I guess I did this to myself.
That "Miley Cyrus Nude" title wasn't actually my idea, that was the title of the story where I stole this picture. She actually was nude - kind of- but she was covering her boobs with her arm so she was only nude in the technical sense, and I actually liked the picture of her dressed up like a Deliverance Alice in Wonderland better than the nude one.
With her hillbilly overbite and narrow, close set eye sockets, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Miley Cyrus spent her days in the kitchen holding a baby on her hip, stirring some possum grits while her husband was sitting on the front porch in a rockin' chair feudin' shootin' with some still owner beyond the holler but you guys seem to like her. For some baffling reason.
Also what the Hell is she shopping for. Whatever she's holding looks exactly like the kind of thing you'd buy in Spain since I can't think of one thing Spain produces besides Spaniards, olives, and the $1 plastic crap Europeans are constantly waving during soccer games
Also there's something wrong with the way the site is formatting these paragraphs so I'll just end it here since no one reads this crap anyway. I love you Eva.
Padma Lakshmi put on a bikini and no one mentioned why but honestly she doesn't need a reason. She's 54 years old, why do Gen X people look so good so deep into their 50s and even 60s. Is it something in the water? Maybe it's all that drinking from a garden hose and playing with Jarts I don't know. She doesn't look 25 but frankly she looks better than a 25 year old.
Give me a break, how many 25 year olds even look like that? I see 25 year olds in the gym every day and I promise you NONE of them look like that.
Personally I think anyone over 40 looks better with shorter hair because long hair on women is for 9 year olds that want to play princess tea party or religious lunatics, but I'm pretty sure I could deal with her choice.
This show went off the air six years ago. If it wasn't for Julie Bowen and Sofia Vergara nobody would give a fuck. I didn't even know that guy's real name until I wrote this. Get a life. This is why the world is in the state it's in. You people spend all your time talking about middling television shows that went off the air, five, ten sometimes even 20 years ago.
I get it if you enjoy stuff because it's kind of cheesy like Mannix or Barnaby Jones, or The Love Boat or something but otherwise this was just some prime time sitcom. Here's an idea. Go for a walk. It doesn't have to be far start out by going to the corner and back. Look at a bird, maybe pet your neighbor's dog, because I promise. They're never going to stop making shitty television shows and they're all pretty much the same. You think Modern Family is the first - or last - sitcom that's going to make jokes about having kids? It wasn't and it's not going to be.
I don't know maybe he's a millionaire because those things aren't exactly free and maybe he just doesn't care. I'm glad you're still alive Mike. You're on your own with the hose thing though.
I also think Kristen Stewart is probably a nice person but who gives a fuck about her anymore. Kristen Stewart hasn't been in a movie or anything else that I've been aware for what has to be 15 years at least and there MUST be a reason for that. The only time I even remember Kristen Stewart is when The Daily Mail writes about her. Then 10 minutes later I forget again
She's white, she's female, she's gay... she seems ideal by Hollywood standards so if she isn't working she's either retired, or kills kittens in her spare time and nobody wants to be connected with that
So which is it Kristen?
Somebody rubbed a haunted scarab after they opened a secret tomb in Egypt and Christina Aguilera crawled out and flew to London. Why, you ask? It was for some play, or musical about burlesque or Chicago or some other dumb thing literally nobody knows or cares about.
I was going to say she kind of looks like Linnea Quigley in Night of the Demons but even with her demon face Linnea Quigley is hot as fuck. This isn't the clip I wanted to post but even this one was kind of hard to find so I hope you watch it. And if you stumble on the clip I was looking for let me know. How will you know? Oh you'll know.
Sexy update number 2!!!
A lot of this seems mean even for me. I must've been in a really bad mood that day
Okay so maybe she isn't technically a lesbian but she is done with men...
Kendra made the comments in a new Instagram post: 'I appreciate all the love and support,' began her message on Insta Stories.'I don't have interest in men at the moment. Just work. Thank you for supporting my business,'
If she can't find a man, maybe she should check under the biscuits and gravy at the breakfast buffet. She's 40 why would you do this to yourself. My friends hit their 40s and instantly started looking like Santa Claus, I just don't get it, but it seems to be a common theme.
And don't say I'm being mean the ONLY reason we even know who she is is because she was fucking hot and looked awesome naked.
I'm not saying I'M anything special but Jesus Christ, go for a walk or something. In this day and age if you do even the bare minimum you might live to be 100 years old, but if you need a mobility scooter to go to WalMart you can forget that
And no I'm not at all suggesting she's fat at all at that point but she is 40 now and getting in shape after 40 is 20 times harder than it was when you were 22. But you get OUT of shape 30 times faster too. Not me though I'll look good forever
I don't want to write about Jennifer Lopez. I had a story idea saved, but it's 2025 now and seriously, who gives a shit about her anymore.
You're 55 years old now, take your $400 million and rescue animals or something why do you want to keep showing up at these "events". What could be the appeal for people doing this long after their "careers" have ended. Think about it, what's the last thing you remember about Jennifer Lopez. I just do not get it.
There are people alive today that already basically don't know who you she is aside from the fact that she was married to Ben Affleck. And nobody really even remembers him now either. Go. Be gone.
SEXY UPDATE!!!
the following three stories were actually written many days ago and then some personal events took place. Sorry. Nothing I write here is ever really important anyway so read them or don't. I'm not your mother
Jessica Simpson turned 45 (!) on July 10th and she's still hot as fuck. I don't want to say she's perfect, physically at least, but she's pretty close, even without all the filters, photo shop and black &white BS she used on her Instagram.
Just imagine how hot you'd look if you quit all the drinking and the pills you chug like they're going to make them illegal on Monday.
Well, throughout my career, there have been many times when I have been belittled and bullied by Simone and have wanted to keep quiet for the other athletes,' she told Fox.
And there have been multiple times through my Olympic journey and through camps, training, everything that we have gone through where she has come and belittled all of us. I’ve wanted to stay silent through this because she has a huge platform.
Anybody that's surprised that a (formerly) teenaged Olympic gymnast/cheerleader is an arrogant, bullying shit-head really needs to get out more. You're really surprised to hear this? This comes as shocking news to you? You can tell she's a Mean Girl just by looking at her.
It seems however, that she's still doing shows in Europe but have you ever actually talked to a European? Those fucking people will watch anything I have no idea what their deal is. If you need proof of my last statement, JoJo Siwa is touring there.
Some people are complaining that Sabrina Carpenter is oversexualizing her appearance which she denied by appearing on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine on her knees in nothing but white nylons.
Of course she's over-sexualized. She's a talentless artist that makes terrible music for teenagers, and 20 somethings with brain damage. As far as I know she really only has one hit song that anyone even knows.
She's basically the far less attractive, much shorter, chubbier, even less talented version of Dua Lipa if you can believe it.
C'mon now, look at that picture and explain to me why she's the only one that looks like a cartoon character.
And I'm not even saying she needs a filter, I mean, have you ever seen Sofia Vergara? It was just the first thing I noticed. And don't tell me you don't see it. They don't mention how old the ad is, but she's 52 as difficult as that may be to believe. Most 52 year olds I know have two feet of cleavage that starts at their chin and those weird jeans that somehow fit a 28 inch waste but cover an ass that's the size of a putting green. How does that work? How do they even put them on. That's so weird.
At this point it's like falling asleep with the TV on and you hear the droning noise in your head subconsciously, and it mixes in with your dreams like one minute you're asleep and the next second your riding in a flying Orient Express and President Eisenhower starts firing canons at battleships or something. You're actually worse than the guy that spends all day calling a classic rock station and once he finally gets through he requests Black Dog by Led Zeppelin
Kristin Cavallari is talking about having sex. Again. What a boring woman. This seems to be the only thing she ever talks about. Kristin Cavallari is what I imagine Nikki Glaser is like in real life when she isn't doing her "comedy". In fact I don't think Nikki Glaser's comedy is really all that different from whatever sex thing Kristen Cavallari is talking about today. Blow jobs? Hand jobs in the bathroom? You know, real cutting edge stuff. Have you ever seen these two in the same room? Nope. And if you did they'd probably try to suck every guy in there off so they could have a good story to tell later on, you know, since neither one of them seems to ever talk about anything else.
You people really need to start demanding more from these a-holes because this shit is like watching paint dry
Diet and exercise.
Obsessive diet and exercise. And probably Ozempic too. You can tell by her skeleton like face. In fact she'd probably look 44 if not for the Ozempic Face. That could just be her face though, honestly I don't know.
Women (and men) that look like that at 54 - or 34, or 44 - live to look like that. Mostly. About 0.5% of the population are lucky enough to look like that naturally but most people that look like that literally spend their days and nights obsessed with food and the gym. It's a way of life and is like a full time job. I know because I used to be that person. And in some ways I still am. It's actually a sickness. But it's no way to live unless you're planning on being in a major movie or walking a Sports Illustrated runway or making content for Only Fans where a lot of people are going to see you naked or something.
People like this consider it a treat to eat one almond with peanut butter on it. And no I am not joking. They're running on treadmills and working out six times a week. Sometimes twice a day. They measure their food with teaspoons and little scales. If looking like that is your job I can understand. And I guess it's her job but I don't know why.
She looks good no doubt, but don't go down this road. Just be reasonable about your food and what you do. Trust me that's good enough, especially since less than 99.9999999% of the population will never see you naked. Especially if you get a stupid judge like I did
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I can't fathom the seemingly endless fascination you people seem to have with this woman. I just do not get it.
I've always said Miley Cyrus was very hot in a sort of white trash, last call, dive bar kind of way, but so what. I've known plenty of hot, white trash, dive bar girls and I wouldn't have bought any of their albums or paid hundreds of dollars for tickets to their concerts. I just do not understand what makes Miley Cyrus any different. Oh wait, I know what it is. You people are stupid and have awful taste in music
Every one is gay now. I don't know why but that's the time we live in I guess. And lucky for her it's just in time for Pride Month. What a coincidence.
And I don't know why she keeps getting written about
all the time all of the sudden but she is. And don't forget, Amber
Heard was supposedly a lesbian and then she had twins with some guy
who's name I don't remember, if I ever knew it in the first place. If
you want hardcore information I guess this is the place to come too
He was there with his wife Luciano Barroso who's pretty hot. Thank God he got her to stop cooking spaghetti long enough to go with him to this thing so at least everyone had something nice to watch instead of this movie
Plus it's also become almost intolerably click-baity since they've started to try to move more toward a subscription (read: paid) site, and now they have to appeal to Facebook boomers from Second and Third World countries that still fall for that kind of thing. I've been very slowly looking for better sources but none can match the sheer physical size of The Daily Mail so a lot more searching is involved and I don't always have time for that.
Anyway, I'm not going anywhere just yet.
George Clooney is still walking around with that ridiculous hair. I don't know, maybe if he went with a lighter color or something it would've been better. Instead he looks like he's walking around in a bar or nightclub hitting on women that are 40 years younger than he is
She's 36 now and trust me, you can't be nearly 400 pounds when you're 40 years old, you just can't, I don't care how positive anyone says it is. The human body has it's physical limits and when you hit your 40s, things start to change and you'll just drop dead one day. I'm sorry, that's just how it is, and we don't make the rules. So keep up the good work Lizzo, I'm sure we'll be enjoying your music for many years to come. I won't, I've never heard it and I never will but you know what I mean
This will definitely be one of the few times I write about Coachella which, for some reason, seems to go on for a month. I honestly can't figure out who cares about this that much but again, to each their own. I suppose it goes on for so long to give every B, C, and D-List asshole enough time to show up and wear their brand new $400 tie-dyed t-shirt and dream catcher belt in front of any dumbass with a camera.
Tickets START at nearly $700 in case you feel like blowing nearly two grand so you and a friend can go sit outside and listen to shitty music for three days. I wouldn't pay $700 to watch Jesus Christ ride a unicycle down the street but you're the one that spent $150,000 for college to get a degree in Native American Bead Studies so believe me, no one is going to be asking you for financial advice anyway.
Maybe they're filming a new Mad Max, otherwise I can't figure out why everyone keeps going to Australia. If people are still in those camps just put Mel B on it. If they can get her to stop ripping phone books in half long enough
Apparently Arnold Schwarzenegger's son Chris lost a lot of weight and then promptly put it all back on. I think that's what they're talking about, the source material from this place isn't always entirely clear. And I didn't know that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a son named Chris. Maybe they don't talk about him much if you know what I mean. Just look at him of course you know what I mean.
The bigger story here is how he's driving and doing things all by himself! They didn't say where he was going but I'd guess to his job as a bag boy in the grocery store or maybe the guy that collects the carts since he looks pretty strong. Keep going Chris! You're doing such a good job!
Women can blame the men all they want but ultimately they have free will and actively choose someone everyone calls Birdman so I'm guessing the problems would be at least a 50/50 split.
On the other hand, she said she's ready to start dating again...
I'm looking forward to getting out there and dating.'
However, Braxton also admitted that she is nervous to get back out on the dating scene again.
'I mean, dating can be scary too. It can be a little bit,' she said before revealing the type of person she is looking to date next.
Of her ideal partner, she said they would be 'a nice guy, someone who will watch Lifetime with me all day long, at least once in the week.'
Hey I'm nice and I'll pretend to watch Lifetime, whatever that is. You'd be surprised at how much I can fake if it's for sex.
!!!!SEXY UPDATE!!!!
Holy shit she's 57 years old!?
I just don't understand how a wealthy woman, that looks like that, who is at least on the surface smart and funny, and I would have to imagine at least mostly normal, is running around single. It's not as if I think a woman needs a man but there are just some things that make sense. Cats and dogs hate each other, 2+2=4, baby kangaroos get mistaken for giant mice, men and women go together, things like that
My secret hope is she's a giant whore that likes going to really perverted swingers parties, and shit like that and a dude would just get in the way. Believe me this fantasy goes on for many, many hours but I won't bore you with details. Unless you want me too
!!!SEXY UPDATE!!!!
HOLY SHIT THAT'S DJ TANNER FROM FULL HOUSE WTF
If this is the last time I ever have to read about Kirstemn Stweart that would be absolutely fine with me
Jessica Alba is in the "news" again. This time in a bikini. She's hot and cute all at the same time which is extremely hard to pull off. I don't even think that's something you can manage to do on your own, I think it's just the way you're born. Plus she's well above (about to turn 44) my legal minimum age requirement of 35 so that's good too.
I'm not really sure what the cause is behind the sudden explosion of Jessica Alba stories, but they did call her "The Dark Angel star" even though I've never heard of that so maybe that has something to do with it? I don't know who her friend in blue is, maybe they mentioned it but I don't care, this whole story was totally pointless. Even more so than usual.
Well anyway, I guess I know what kind of car Tucker Carlson drives. A 1987 Chevy Silverado. And without even knowing him I can tell you he's not cool enough to own that truck.
While getting gas for his new truck he said... 'All of a sudden at a gas station, it says, "Stop, we're downloading information from the internet,"' he claimed in during an interview with gearhead Casey Putsch. 'I sold the car immediately. I brought it back and sold it.'
The disturbing claim follows reports of auto manufacturers sharing data with brokers and insurance companies.
A New York Times investigation revealed that several major brands — including GM, Chevy’s parent company — were tracking driver habits deemed unsafe.
Yeah of course they're doing that, the technology exists why wouldn't they? It probably won't reach the point where they're shutting off your car because you drive too fast yet, but I bet it happens within the next few years, and if you don't think we're headed that way you're an insane boot licker.
Amazon shut down some guys house because they didn't like something he said. Which, as it turns out, he didn't even say.
My home owners insurance threatened to drop me because there were some things they saw that they didn't like. Insurance my bank requires me to have. So I did them a favor and dropped them and went with someone else. But what if there was no one else?
But you people are short sighted morons so you'll ignore this problem and call anyone that sees this as an issue a "conspiracy theorist" until it gets too big to fix and you're taking a two hour bus ride to work in a government approved truck, and then you'll just blame republicans. I've seen shit like this play out 100 times, I wasn't born yesterday you know.
Why do people talk about this guy so much? What was the last movie he was even in?
He was at CinemaCon in Las Vegas or somewhere with a bunch of other a-holes like Ryan Gosling and Andrew Garfield - whoever that is. Most of this story was about his beard. I didn't see any mention of Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Garner, but who knows, maybe they're saving those breaking stories for Friday.
