Welcome to the 21st Century

 
It's 2013 isn't it?  Wasn't New Years Eve just a few weeks ago? We have cars that will park themselves, cellphones that are basically computers that fit in your pocket that make the Star Trek communicators seem old timey by comparison, we've been to the moon and back several times, can fly around the entire planet in a matter of hours and, soon if I lose a limb it will be replaced by a better, much cooler robot limb - that I'm getting by the way even if I have to chop off my own goddamn hand - and these idiots are burning witches?   

Yeah they really are...

 Assailants stripped, tortured and bound a woman accused of witchcraft, then burned her alive in front of hundreds of witnesses in a Papua New Guinea town, police said Friday...

 If one of your friends is one of those hippie types that's "fascinated with other cultures" just drop her off in New Guinea with a pack of matches a pointy hat, and a digital camera and tell her to randomly start fires, and steal peoples souls and keep them in the "magic box". It'll be a fun prank to pull on her I promise. And by the way I spent 25 minutes looking for pictures of New Guinea that didn't make me look like a raging racist but I eventually just gave up.

I'm Make Some Money!

One of the degenerate retards from Jersey Shore is getting a chance to make still more money off of the brain damaged imbeciles that watch their show....

DelVecchio hopes to re-create the success of Bethenny Frankel's Skinnygirl Cocktails with Remix, a premixed vodka concoction to be marketed as a “pregame” beverage for the club-hopping set. To that end, DelVecchio, 31, has partnered with David Kanbar, co-founder of Skinnygirl, and brought out of retirement Tom Bruno, formerly of Sidney Frank Importing Co., which counts Grey Goose among its top shelf brands.

This really is a no brainer.  They just have to market it the right way. Especially to the kind of knuckle heads that watch these idiots. You just sell one that already comes infused with your favorite date rape drug! 'GHB Explosion' tastes like cherry, and 'Robo Party!' - the one with Roofies - tastes exactly like lemons! How would I know what date rape drugs taste like? Shut up that's how.

A Hennessey? Sounds Classy!

Frog faced idiot Steven Tyler spent $1.1 million dollars on that stupid looking car.

 If you ask me it looks he spent about $1 million too much.

Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler just took delivery of the world's fastest convertible. The Hennessey Venom GT Spyder will accelerate to 200mph in 15.9 seconds, eight seconds faster than a Bugatti Veyron. Tyler was the first person to ask if he could have his without a top.

 Like I always say, if you want to show the world you have class, just make sure you pay too much for something that has the name "Hennessy" on it because that doesn't sound ghetto at all. Hey next time, why not try to buy a Cristal Viper? Or how about one of these?  If Steven wants to spend a million dollars on something maybe he should try buying some of his dignity back.

Oh That's Original

Already? Apparently this has been spotted in California. That didn't take long. It's good to see the American Left is as creative as ever. I remember a certain someone that was an actual leftist vegetarian, animal loving socialist type from a while back... What was his name...?