Sunday, February 5, 2012

Gimme 10cc's of BBQ Sauce! Stat!

Angelina Jolie showed up at some stupid awards ceremony and somebody neglected to tell her not to show up in a costume because she was dressed up like a holocaust survivor.
"She said she was so busy with the kids that she forgets to eat, and when she does sit down she prefers all her fruits and vegetables to be organic. She particularly likes exotic berries and was talking about how they were packed with nutrients."
 Mmmm. Sounds healthy. She's 5' 8" tall and is reported to weigh 7 stone. For the rest of us in the normal world that don't like measuring things like ancient Druids, that's about 98 pounds. So if your one of those pain in the ass internet hunchbacks that still insists she's 100 times hotter than Jennifer Aniston, you can experience sex with Angelina. Just grab your fleshlight, and your dads golf bag. Just leave the clubs in it and voila!

1 comment:

  1. Hi, my name is Angelina Joelie. I am so busy with my children that I forget to eat, despite the fact that I must look at them eating at some point during the day, since I'm there, busy... Looking after them. Those small puncture wounds on their necks? No, don't be silly! Why would they be vampire marks? I didn't surround myself with a flock of children just so I could feed off their blood at night. I only eat exotic berries, but they must be organic and these are not so I forget to eat them.