Prince died yesterday. Was it drugs? Maybe. Was it the Zika virus? According to noted medical professional Aretha Franklin, definitely yes Whatever the cause, 57 years old is too young to die. Unless you live fast and want to leave a good looking corpse. Either way people all over the internet are freaking out about it. I, not being an upper middle class white kid and also a male, on the other hand, didn't like his music at all and thought he was greasy, creepy and weird. And very short. Good night sweet Prince and yadda yadda yadda. I'd put a melancholy ending on this like a wounded teenager using one of his song titles but I don't really know any. Purple Rain? That's one. Good night sweet Prince your Purple Rain will be Goin' Crazy for all eternal purplishness you weird fucking midget.