Friday, July 10, 2015

Nicky Hilton Got Married

In a shocking turn of events Paris Hilton isn't dead. Also shocking was her scarecrow faced sister Nicky getting married to some billionaire named Rothschild which I'm pretty sure is a fake name from a TV show. I love the look on Paris' face. She's 35 years old, unmarried and nearing the time mother nature says "HOLD IT! NO BABIES FOR YOU!" Mother nature can be a real bitch like that. You can tell by how Paris looks like somebody just told her her dog died that even she has a biological clock and it's probably ticking like a goddamn hydrogen bomb by now while her younger sister is getting married to some guy I'm pretty sure she'll poison later and make the whole thing look like an overdose. You heard it here first folks Nicky Hilton is a murderer. Congratulations on your wedding Black Widow.

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