Charlotte McKinney is Popular

Charlotte McKinney is number seven for searches on Google and I'm trying to figure out why. I bet she's really good at video games or something.

Mellissa McCarthy is like a Rail Now

Melissa McCarthy wowed audiences when she showed up at the SXSW music festival for some reason and was 50 pounds lighter. I'm surprised anybody even recognized her. They should probably make sure they have medical personnel standing by in case she keels over from dieting and being so thin.

Ansel Elgort?

I was looking for stuff to write about and I thought hey a new Star Wars character is treanding on Google maybe that'll be fun but little did I know Ansel Elgort is apparently a real human person and it seems he's quite the character according to pop sugar , on top of being a wacky cut up, he's a real hottie too and I suppose he is if you like junior high school students. They say his Twitter feed is a non stop roller coaster ride of laughs and I saw some of his tweets. I didn't link it for fear of you hurting yourself from laughing

Heidi Klum Is heiß

I was going to write a hilarious story about how Heidi Klum is still smoking at 41 in a pictorial for something called Hunger magazine because I guess people still buy magazines, but my feelings for her run hot and cold. Cold in the fact that I usually don't find her all that attractive for some reason, and hot when she's dressed up like an extra from the movie Xanadu because that late 70's early 80's shit is hot

And if you think I link a lot from The Daily Mail it's because the people that write for that rag make me look like Earnest Fucking Hemingway.

Jodi Aria Sentenced

Jodi Aria was sentenced to life in prison for the murder of her boyfriend ...

Prosecutors accuse Arias of murdering her ex-partner, Travis Alexander, in a jealous rage, but she says she acted in self-defense. 

Alexander, 30, was found dead in a shower at his Phoenix-area home. 

He had been stabbed multiple times, his throat was cut almost from ear to ear, and he had been shot in the face.

 I don't know anything about this. I've heard her name but that's really about it. I can tell you one thing. I've never met the guy but just looking at his picture makes me want to shoot him in the face so I wonder if her attorneys tried that defense

Kim Kardashian is a Blonde Bimbo

Kim Kardashian dyed her hair blonde for some reason. Why? I have no idea. There's a story right here that I didn't bother to read but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. Maybe she's going into hiding. Maybe it's part of some big diamond caper. Maybe she's just an idiot. Who can really say? Unfortunately for her, the computer generated people have more emotions and are also more likeable

Don Johnson and Melanie Grifith Reunite

Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith reunited for some reason. Why I'm not really sure because I couldn't be bothered to read the story but if I had to guess I'd say they were meeting at the airport to catch the first flight to Bolivia to begin the long, worldwide search for their original faces and hair.