Jasmine Tookes is a Master Criminal

Jasmine Tookes is the latest Victoria's Secret "Angel" chosen to wear their $3 million dollar bra. I'd say they must really trust her to not put it on under her jacket and secretly run off with it but, judging by the look on her face in that picture, I'd say the only thing keeping her upright is her brain stem so that thing ain't going anywhere.

Zilda Williams Enjoys Sun and Sand

I got distracted and ran out of time so here's a pointless story about some Instagram celebrity or whatever she is named Zilda Williams and her boobs in the standard red bikini. I'm sure she'll achieve great success at whatever she does. Probably "modeling" on Instagram or wherever these idiots go. I'll write more Pulitzer Prize worthy content later I swear so stay with me.

Lisa Rinna Does Things

I've been a little distracted with the holiday and all and I haven't written too much so I'd just like to point out that Lisa Rinna is 53 years old. I don't even remember why she's famous. I guess for being married to Harry Hamlin but I don't remember why he's famous either. I know he was in Clash of the Titans, or maybe he was on Dallas. Or Chico and the Man? I don't know, if you're interested check Google or IMDB and if you do let me know. Okay, well, talk to you soon.

Joanna Krupa is a Mannequin

Remember how I said I was going to write about Joanna Krupa more? Well, I wasn't lying. The BIG EXCITING JOANNA KRUPA NEWS OF THE DAY is, she did the mannequin challenge. Naked. So she officially wins the mannequin challenge. And if you think the usual Instagram comments are bad you should read the ones on this little picture. So as usual I used somebody that has me blocked on Twitter to cover them up. Oh by the way there's also a Instagram video on her account but I didn't watch more than eight or 10 times before I figured out it's basically just like the static picture.

Diane Guerrero Does Stuff

This is Diane Guerrero. She's on Orange is the New Black I guess, but I couldn't find her name when I Googled it. And I saw her on some cooking show with some celebrity chef named Bobby Flay who I guess is also from Chicago? I have no idea about that either, the whole idea of a celebrity chef is mind boggling to me. I don't even know why I was watching it.  Anyway, I saw her on that show and decided to write about her. But I've never seen Orange is the New Black either so aside from being extremely cute I know nothing about her. Her name is Diane and judging by her last name, Guerrero, is of Hispanic descent, which, by the way, is just fine with me. And according to Google, she was born in 1986, and is 5' 2" tall. Well there ya go I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Andie MacDowell at FA Ywood

The New York Daily News asked Andie MacDowell what she's thankful for and she said...

"I’m thankful that my ass still looks good at 58!”

Good. I'm glad her ass still looks good because the rest of her looks like the guy that got eaten by that spider in Arachnophobia. 

Sophie Monk is Classy

Is Sophie Monk a porn star? She's dressed like a porn star. Somebody please tell me she's a porn star.