James Corden Goes to a Basketball Game

James Corden was at a Lakers game with his son (who I cropped out of the picture because he's just a kid). Jesus.  Like proving Einstein's theory of an ever expanding universe, you can almost watch this guy get fatter.

Asshole Makes Fun of Injured Soldier

Pete Davidson, formerly known as Mr Ariana Grande, is in hot water for making fun of someone that's 10 times the man he'll ever be, and also lost an eye after an IED exploded in the war in Afghanistan. Any of which I would probably be mad about if I gave a shit about what Pete Davidson thought about anything but I guess everybody needs something to be mad about so here you go. And I wasn't going to bring it up, but since it's an issue now, what's with Pete's left eye? Just wondering.

Olivia and Danny Have Troubles

Olivia Culpo bought her boyfriend Danny a $12,000 Rolex for his birthday but he cheated on her so she's keeping it for herself despite the fact that it's a man's watch. She knows she can probably exchange that right? I assume that's her in the corner with the aforementioned "Danny", and yes, they look exactly like the kind of people that think Rolex is a classy watch ("Rolex the watch that comes with a bottle of Hennessy"). You know how you can tell? His way too tight ill fitting suit and her empty stare. I can only assume that's her hand in what I can only imagine is an Infinit QX80 or maybe a Range Rover. I've seen it 100 times before. I think she's a model but there was a wave of Olivia's in the early 2000s and they all look nearly identical so I mostly stopped keeping track.

Speaking of Voting

YAWN. Chelsea Handler posted a "topless" photo of herself on Instagram to encourage people to vote. I wonder what she'd say if her encouragement lead people to vote the opposite way she wants them too. I have to be honest I'm not sure exactly what her taking her clothes off  has to do with the other but I guess it worked because here I am talking about her even though with each passing day she becomes more and more irrelevant until eventually she'll collapse in on herself like a dying star creating a very, very, very  tiny black hole. She's dense enough already so why not.

Election Day is Coming

Please don't take political advice from Olivia Munn. Although I'm sure she's very nice.

Channing Tatum and Jessie J Make Babies

I'm sorry to report to you ladies that celebrity mongoloid Channing Tatum is officially dating "songstress" Jesse J who I remember had a middling hit from some time in the early 2000s. I don't remember the name of the song or how it went but I remember hearing it. I'm pretty sure she isn't that "Call Me Maybe" woman but she might be, what am I the Library of Congress?  For all I know she's bigger than Led Zeppelin now I can't be sure, I don't listen to shitty music. Listen, he was single for a while but you didn't move fast enough. You really have to be on your toes when a guy like that is single. He's a man of action. You might think I'm being a little harsh but don't worry I'm pretty sure he can't read this. Anyway, I hope they get married and have lots of kids where they can enjoy eating paste and mud together as one big happy family.

Halsey is in a Bathroom

I'm pretty sure I already wrote about Halsey dressed up as Poison Something for Halloween, but I'm not looking. It's not my job to keep an eye on me. And anyway, she's smokin' hot and if there's one way to get my attention, it's be a hot woman.  I would have thought that someone as temporarily famous as her could find somewhere better to have her picture taken than the bathroom of a banquet hall but I don't know how all this celebrity stuff works so who knows.