Yolanda Hadid Does Stuff

This is a picture of Model Bella Hadid's mom Yolanda. Bella Hadid's 53 year old mom. I'd just like to say if I ever said anything bad in any joking manner about Bella or for that matter Gigi Hadid I'm sorry and I take it all back. I was just joshing around you know? It was all shenanigans. Here, let me buy you a drink.

!!!BREAKING NEWS!!! Kevin Spacey is Gay

So Kevin Spacey (seen here holding his Tony Award) came out as being gay. And if this surprises you, you need to get out more.

Gwen Stepford and Blake Singleterry Make a Baby

Blake Sheldon and Gwen Stefanie (I'm not checking spelling or even the correct names today fuck you) are trying for a baby girl. Ummmm...Gwen Sheldon is almost 50 years old. I didn't know 50 year old women could have babies. I thought that was nature's way of putting the brakes on everything so we didn't wind up with a population of 8 trillion people. Just because you find a new love of your life, it doesn't mean you have to squeeze out a new tiny human each time, I mean, you two already have a bunch of kids don't you?  Isn't that enough?  We know you can make babies give it a rest. What's with you idiots. Theoretically as a male, I can make babies until I die, all I need is a willing partner and let's be honest, that should be an easy thing for me to find to find especially with a handsome face, strong genes and a powerful back like mine. And if you've ever wondered why no pictures of Gwen Stefani straight on exist, that's why.

Coco Austin is at AXSTV

Coco Austin showed off her gigantic ass for the cameras, which in her case added 30 pounds, while she was at some awards festival, or maybe it was a nightclub I don't know for sure, I was just sifting through garbage, looking for something to talk about and she floated to the top. I think she's married to a rapper but I don't know, or care which one it is. Maybe it's the one that raps about life on the streets. If you know, put it in the comments just keep in mind I never read them so you might be wasting your time.

Marcus Johns is Somebody

Some 24 year old Vine "star" asshole named Marcus Johns has decided to be a director.

 "Growing up I was always directing, but had never consciously labeled myself as a director,"

Growing up? You mean when you were younger like 10 years ago when you were in junior high?  The "star" of a now defunct smart phone app is the new future of Hollywood in case you didn't think things could get any worse there. Good luck Marcus. See you at the "Totally Inclusive Non-Harassing and Bullying Statue Giveaway Formally Known as the Academy Awards".

Matt Damon's Secret Life

Matt Damon joked about a rough sex scene while filming his new movie "Suburbicon". Before I go any further, here is what I think Suburbicon is about. Keep in mind I know only the title of the movie. I have read nothing else whatsoever about it except for the fact that it stars Julianne Moore, and Matt Damon, and the title of the story where he talks about rough sex. I haven't even read that story yet. Okay here goes, here's what I think Suburbicon is about...

Suburbicon is a movie about the stifling reality of living in the suburbs where on the surface everyone is happy just keeping up with the Jones' but in reality they're all desperately lonely/bored/secretly crazy/drug addicted/broken people because Hollywood has never ever produced a ground breaking movie like that before and the suburbs are really ripe for getting this kind of treatment because it's never, ever been done to death.

The End

 I could be wrong so if you see this movie, which I actually sort of doubt you will, let me know how close I came to describing it. Ayyway Matt Damon talked about rough sex yada yada yada...

 "I like it rough. I didn't realize how rough I like it. Then I got home and I was like, 'Wow.'

Fascinating. Just when you thought Matt Damon couldn't get anymore boring. I don't really have anything against Matt Damon. In fact I never really think about him at all. He's just sort of there, like a brown shirt in a drawer you avoid wearing that you keep meaning to give to Goodwill but you just havern't gotten around too it yet.

Harvey Weinstein Finishes Early

Harvey Weinstein finished sex rehab in just a week. That's pretty fast. Maybe he should've thought about baseball or something.