All Olivias all the Time

 
 This is the Olivia Blog now. This one is Olivia Culpo (again). This just makes everything easier for me because they all look the same, dress the same, go to the same places, date the same people, and do the same things. So I can just write one post, and then copy and paste it every time an Olivia shows up somewhere doing whatever it is Olivias do. At some point you have to find your groove and you fall into a rhythm and that's when your life becomes easier.

Kate Hudson is Cute. Forgivable

The World's Cutest Woman, Kate Hudson and her husband Danny Mitsubishi , went for a bike ride and like the concerned citizens they are wore their neck gaiters, spreading any potential virus they may carry even more than if they wore nothing at all. Yes, I've said it before and I'll keep saying it so long as you self-righteous, hair shirt wearing simpletons keep pretending you follow the science. "Following the science" means that if scientists tell you that doing something is bad, you stop doing that thing.Wearing this to me means you want everyone to see you being a good person, when in actual fact, it makes you a bad person. It doesn't matter to me, I most likely think you're an idiot either way.

The New and Improved Olivia Blog

 This is the Olivia Blog now. This one is Olivia Culpo (again). This just makes everything easier for me because they all look the same, dress the same, go to the same places, date the same people, and do the same things. So I can just write one post, and then copy and paste it every time an Olivia shows up somewhere doing whatever it is Olivias do. At some point you have to find your groove and you fall into a rhythm and that's when your life becomes easier.

Lauren Goodger is in Shape. Round.

Gross, nobody reality person Lauren Goodger or whatever the fuck her name is, was photographed going somewhere. I don't know why, or where, but judging by the limits she's placed on that nylon tent she's wearing I'd guess she's going to get beef sandwiches and chocolate shakes.

Irina Shayk Isn't Good With Money

I only wrote this because it was pointed out that model Irina Shayk was out walking around in a $3000 coat and $2000 boots. Every shoe, piece of clothing and both of my vehicles probably don't add up to $5000. I don't know why you'd pay $2000 for rubber boots when you can get nice black ones at Home Depot for $18.50. Probably because you're an idiot. Let's be serious, they probably all come out of the same factory. How many places in the world make rubber boots these days? Not a lot. It's your money Irina if you want to blow $2 grand on galoshes it's not against the law. But I suppose she is Russian and you know how they are.

Naomi Watts has Skin

Naomi Watts talked about her skin regimen I guess because that's all she does. What I don't understand is this fixation people have with age. The reason I say that is, the main headline where I stole this from had her age in GIANT numbers included. Why don't you guess what her age is without looking it up. Maybe 45? 42? How about 38?  No she's 52. But so what?

 It's likely if she told you any of those numbers you'd believe her. I would. Why does it matter? She can say no to you just as easily at 52 as she could have at 35.  I'd say that picture was airbrushed, or photo shopped but the other pictures that were included looked mostly just like that so it's not as if she's been turned into a cartoon character like I've seen so many times. I saw one lady on Instagram that used so many filters her goddamn mouth disappeared. I'm not joking either, I wish I was. 

Now here comes the hard part. Hard for you I mean...

She looks like that at 52 because she's Naomi Watts. If you graduated from college, and then spent the last 25 years birthin' babies, driving minivans, eating at McDonald's and Arby's and getting your hair styled so the manager of every store you walk into meets you at the customer service desk out of reflex every time you walk through the door, whatever she's selling isn't going to help. I'm sorry you had to hear that, but his whole "looking young" thing is a process that starts in your late 20's. Not your mid-40s.

Kimberly Garner has a Bikini

 Here's Kimberly Garner. (SEXY UPDATE!! I wrote this yesterday but forgot about it). She's a model or something. I just didn't want to leave Sam Smith's mug up as the last thing you see on this blog so I picked her. Pretty smart right?