Thanksgiving is Next Week

The people at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade started testing their floats by inflating a Kourtney Kardashian balloon a little early. It looks like 10 pounds of silly putty stuffed into a four pound bag. They probably shouldn't include a word like ass, little kids will be seeing this and hopefully not gouging out their own eyes afterward. 

Bon Jovi Is Numero Uno

Bon Jovi's new album is number 1 on the Billboard charts after selling 129,000 copies. I have no idea why this is news. Probably because most people are surprised that 129,000 people still like Bon Jovi.

Lady in Red

Well the election is finally over and most of the world has calmed down after two or three days, save for a small percentage of lunatics that haven't been able to refill their prescriptions this week. So in celebration of all that, I found a picture of Kate Beckinsale who put on a red dress and decided to take her big foot to some Golden Globes event. I hope hey had a nice time together. But as the smoke clears more and more, I'll probably be able to find more celebrities doing whatever it is they do and we'll live, and love and laugh again. By the way Kate, forget what I said about calling me. No, no! It has nothing to do with your weird feet I swear I'm just really busy that's all.

Kristy Swanson Does things

I accidentally discovered Kristy "Vampire Slayer" Swanson's Instagram account. I'm not really sure how because I was avoiding all the usual places I look for stories because apparently there was some kind of election and some people are - shall we say - disappointed with the result so I just tried to avoid that whole swamp all together, and figured I 'd just try again tomorrow. But she's still pretty hot and from what I can tell as I scrolled through her account looking for bikini pictures that she rides motorcycles and there isn't anything much hotter than a woman riding a motorcycle. Well, except for me riding a motorcycle but that's a totally different story and I think we'll all just let Kristy decide for herself if that's true as we ride off into the sunset together on our "hogs". That's biker lingo for motorcycle for all of you that don't know. Call me Kristy we can pop some wheelies and jump some sweet ramps. None of that was meant as a double entendre by the way.

Kendra Has a New 'Doo

Noted cutie Kendra Wilkinson was photographed leaving a hair salon shortly after demanding the "Frazzled Mom" hairdo. She was immediately whisked away in a minivan and headed straight for Target to pick up a few things.

Carmen Electra?

Carmen Electra posted a selfie of, well, herself on her Instagram "without" any make up on. Being all man I really wouldn't know if she had any make up on or not. What I do know is, if she isn't wearing any make up she looks pretty much exactly like Chelsea Handler so that pretty much finishes it for me. How would you like to wake up next to Chelsea Handler everyday. Personally I'd rather wake up next to a fully functioning air raid siren every day but hey, whatever floats your boat I guess.

Bradley Cooper is a Gumball Machine

BRADLEY. COOPER. IS. A SPACEMAN. It's funnier in your head if you do it in that monotone robot voice. Later in the afternoon he had his mom baby pin a towel around his neck and he jumped off of the garage roof even though she told him to stop doing that. The whole idea behind that body armor is, it's supposed to protect you in the event of a crash or I guess, flying debris. Normally it slips into a pocket of a leather or nylon jacket. That chest plate as he's wearing it is seems virtually useless. Unless he's meeting the gang over at the sandlot for a game of stick ball.