Hilary Duff is a New Mom

Hilary Duff had a baby a month ago so she put on her mom jeans and went to Olive Garden to celebrate. Good for her, new moms should get away once in a while.

Amy Schumer Takes a Stand Against Lying Down

Amy Schumer said in an interview that she doesn't want to look super fuckable anymore. If you say so Amy.

Janet Jackson Looks Uncomfortable

Janet Jackson is giving up the humdrum work a day world of pop superstardom to take up the quiet thankless job of being an evil headmistress at a New England school for wayward girls in the early 1900s. Won't you join me and wish her all the best.

Sam Faiers is 27

Sam Faiers is some actress in England I think that was in a movie (?) called The Mummy Diaries which I guess is probably a scary version of the Mommy Diaries? I'm well informed.  I've never heard of her but she was in London for something. Judging by how she's dressed I'd guess she was there visiting 1987. The original story, which I'm of course I didn't read am not linking, said she was 27. 27? C'mon. I know British women always look 10 years older than they are - and my rule about women become more attractive after 30 is pretty well established case law around here so it's not as if it matters to me - but please. 27? She's 35 minimum. But okay I'll believe your little tale but I want to see a birth certificate and at least two forms of ID and her phone number. You know. Just in case.

Elsa Pataky Makes Everything Better

I don't have a lot of time right now but I happened to stumble across this picture of Elsa Pataky at some movie premier. I didn't catch the name of the movie movie because I almost immediately went blind. Good Lord. I'll be back later or maybe I won't and I'll just leave this at the top of the page for all eternity. Either way.

More Like Jingle Bell Balling

This story originally started out being about someone named Cheryl, who I think I've mentioned before, and lo and behold I have, how weird is that? She was performing in London at the Jingle Bell Ball sponsored by Capital FM 95-106 because just like their phone numbers, even British radio stations have way to many numbers. But being my brain is like a steel trap I switched midstream and decided to write about how this Christmas show apparently had a bunch of sex robots (pictured) delivered to their red carpet. It seems a little weird to me but I'm a big fan of the coming sex robots so really, I'm not complaining.

Goodbye Kate Beckinsale

My love affair with Kate Beckinsale ended at exactly 9:51 am on December 9, 2018 when I saw this picture of her leaving some kind of event with her friends and she had that stupid "QUEEN" tiara or whatever it's called on her head. I don't care if it was meant tongue in cheek that's a huge red flag.