Camila Cabello is Bigger than Ever

I had a post about Camila Cabello written and ready to go but it was really super mean. Even by my standards Honestly I don't have anything personal against these people, they're usually just easy targets, like nerds you can take their lunch money from.  So I just highlighted it and backspaced the whole thing into oblivion. 

Her music is still really awful and I have no idea how famous she really is anymore if at all. It's hard to tell these days when PR firm hacks,  get to write the stories on celebrity websites because of course they want you to think their clients are still relevant. Hey they have boat payments to make, so what do they care if they're clogging up the universe with simpering tales about Camila Cabello and garbage stories about these talentless dullards.

Hailey Bieber has Socks

 Hailey Bieber wore sparkly socks. That's what this story is about. Her socks. Yeah I don't know either, maybe she's selling them or something. She's married to Justin Bieber you know. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess most GenZ people don't know who either one of them are. I know I could easily be wrong, but it's a feeling I get. Justin Bieber was "discovered" in 2008. That's 13 years ago. A 20 year old today would have been entering first or second grade then. I've shared this clip before. So in short, "four years" for Justin, was nine years ago. Here today, gone later today.

Jessica Alves is a Person?

 Jessica Alves is an "internet personality" and she says she made $1 million dollars selling nudes on OnlyFans. I believe her basically because I think you people are a bunch of morons. I've never actually been on OnlyFans but I've seen some pictures of some of the women that are on it, and sometimes they're so attractive you might think they weren't even human, and out of all of them,  this is who you decide who want to see naked?  This... person? It's your money, but my money is staying in my wallet, because I want to see this thing naked about as much as I want to hurt my back lifting something heavy. But I guess some people eat that weird bologna with the olives in it so I don't know why this surprises me at all.

Luke Wilson is Hanging to the Left

 Hey look! Someone is talking about Luke Wilson! I'd forgotten all about him. Isn't his brother Owen? You know, the guy with the nose that looks like a penis?

Elizabeth Hurley Loves Science

 Elizabeth Hurley did something that got her in the news. I hope it was putting on that awesome dress because as usual I didn't actually read the story so for all I know she's trying to reanimate Hitler's brain. Which would be fine with me as long as she was wearing that dress. Plus that 1970s hair? Man. Listen I haven't much felt like writing so this is what you get. Don't like it? Call the cops.

Lena Dunham Got Married Not Nude

Somebody Married Lena Dunham. Apparently on purpose, and not as part of some drunken dare like I originally thought. I would have advised against this but I don't have to live with her so knock yourself out.

Lenny Kravitz is Back. Again.

 Just a couple of middle-aged dudes talking about their abs on social media. It looks like Lenny Kravitz is all set to break out for his occasional four months of fame before he disappears into the ether like an annoying ninja.  I always thought that this was kind of a weird thing that happens, because it only seems to happen to him. Maybe he's just a bunch of cicadas in a human costume. A human costume with abs.