Kristen Stewart Calls Twilight Gay. Is Gay

 Kristen Stewart thinks Twilight is gay

 I can only see it now, I don’t think it necessarily started off that way, but I also think that the fact that I was there at all, it was percolating,' the star, who came out in 2017, said of the 2008 teen vampire romance. 'It’s such a gay movie.'

People online have been calling Twilight gay for at least 15 years so I don't know where she's been. She's still gay though, so props to her for not just trying to be "with it" and a "hep cat" trend follower since these days everyone except me seems to be gay. 

She also hated Charlie's Angels which I forgot was even a movie.

'I hated making that movie. I don’t know what else to say'.

 You could say you're sorry for starters. Just because people want to watch a cheesy TV show from the 70s starring some of the hottest women that ever walked the earth, it doesn't mean they want to sit through a two hour shit-fest staring people they barely remember even 5 years later. Who else was in the Charlie's Angels reboot? Do you even know? Did you remember Kristen Stewart was even in that? I sure didn't so hurray for me I guess. 

 

 

 

 

The Skinny on Kelly Clarkson

 Kelly Clarkson (center) lost a bunch of weight and she looks good! Or at least as good as Kelly Clarkson could look. They blathered on and on about her diet but most people don't actually care, they'd rather just balloon up and get the surgery later.

 I can't fucking stand Jon Cryer though. Even just the sight of him fills me with rage. Andrew McCarthy and James Spader too, all three of them can fuck off as far as I'm concerned I don't care what their diet is

Jeremy Renner's Hillbilly Party

Jeremy Renner is fighting with his girlfriends family.  This is like a real life episode of Live PD, or Cops or something. Her name is Amber (of course) Monson and she's apparently an ex-con or something but I'll be honest, I lost interest in this story when I saw her before and after picture. I get it because the first one is a mugshot but c'mon that doesn't even look like the same human being.

I'll link the original story here in case you're interested in this Hillbilly Prom Night but I'm not, I didn't even know Jeremy Renner was out of the hospital. And anyway, I'm sure she's only with him because he's rich and he has a bottomless refill for pain killers.

Sinead O'Connor Still Dead

 Mental basket case Sinead O'Connor's death was ruled to be "natural causes" and not whatever bizarre Jewish-lead conspiracy theory I'm sure her "fans" were cooking up between dosages of their medications

'This is to confirm that Ms O'Connor died of natural causes,' a spokesman for Southwark Coroners Court said. 'The coroner has therefore ceased their involvement in her death.'

So there you have it, you can relax now. Maybe ask the orderly to add a little extra voltage to your next electroshock therapy session. It'll be like a treat!

Jeannie Mai Goes on a Milk Carton

 Jeannie Mai put on a bikini and took pictures to show "Jeezy" what he's missing. That's what the original headline said she did, and I believe it, despite the fact that I've never heard of either one of them before 5:36 AM on Friday January 5th 2024. 

I hate to break this to Jeannie Mai but "Jeezy" will just find another mentally challenged fame chaser and have sex with her. This of course is assuming "Jeezy" is famous for something beyond having a stupid name. He's probably already forgotten what you look like, and the kid? I'd be more worried about getting child support from some guy named Jeezy then whether or not he knows "what he's missing". But of course you won't do that because you're dumb and your priorities are totally out of whack.

Kathy Griffin Walks Away

 Kathy Griffin is divorcing her husband, Horseface McGuillicutty after three years of marriage...

'Kathy is just over 60 but still feels in her thirties and wants to enjoy life and has a fun and focused outlook on life and Randy did share that with her.'

However, the source added: 'As of late, Randy was more content with being a homebody and instead of growing together, they started growing apart.

Translation: Kathy wants to be a swinger and go to orgies because there's no way a 63 year old is out partying and going to clubs until 3am. That gets old before 30. If it takes that long. Believe it or not I don't have a problem with Kathy Griffin I thought she was kind of funny, I even found her attractive for a couple years there in the 90s .(because she's funny). But of course she's a Lefty numbskull so I wasn't surprised by anything she did, or her political opinions. 

If you're even remotely on the left I know what you think about everything without even asking. You have a static mind, remained fixed in it's place, just waiting for your chance to turn into a little Mussolini.  In fact, she probably still walks around in a mask and talks about "empathy".  I swear you people still sound like someone in the comment section of Fark in 2002. 

Halle Berry Elevates my Penis

Halle Berry dressed like this for New Year's Eve. Why? Your guess is as good as mind and it's not like I'm complaining. I also don't know why that elevator is so small. Maybe she had it designed just for me and her and I think you know what I'm saying. I'm tired of stairs.