Pussy Riot Gets Two Years

I guess this is video of what got the Russian punk band Pussy Riot two years in prison. Two years in a Russian prison. Jesus that sounds horrible. Not the prison part, the music part. I only made it to around the 45 second mark and I actually like punk rock, and other kinds of music the girls I work with call "scary".

Pussy Riot is just lucky I wasn't the judge or I would have had them all taken outside and shot.

The Most Nerve Wracking Thing You'll See All Day

I was literally on the edge of my seat. If you watch only one tension filled two minute movie this summer, make sure it's this one.

Where's Charlton Heston?

Not only is Scientology crazy, but they also have shitty decorating sense. I guess the headline picture is a room in their "Super Power Building". It also sounds like they let the Japanese name stuff for them too. "Time to go to Super Power Room and worship ancestor ghost for prosperity and riches!" My guess is they found that stuff on an MGM lot when MGM was throwing out all the old sets to Soylent Green, or Rollerball. Or maybe they thought they could attach this to one of those L-1011's or whatever kind of planes they talk about launch this into space and they could call it Bespin.

Sorry I wrote this a week ago or more and then forgot all about it. It was sitting here so I figured "hey it's mostly done, and a lot of the words a spelled right so why not?"

You Have To Watch This

If you haven't already figured this out, I hate everything, and everybody all the time almost as a reflex. If I met you in a bar tonight - right now - the odds are I'd want to murder you almost instantly. And I'm actually not even in a terribly bad mood at the moment. It's really just part of my charm.

And boy you better believe I was ready to hate this, especially during the first 24 seconds I watched it. With the brief  clips of some obnoxious AV club member asshole on full display, I almost stopped it immediately.

But I didn't, and it is awesome. I wish I'd thought of something this clever. So watch it. Seriously.

Somebody needs a razor

Jennifer Aniston and Henry David Theroux or whatever his name is, returned from Europe and promptly blew $21 million dollars on a house. $21 million? For just two people? And it had no furniture. You'd think for that kind of money it might come with an old Foosball table the old owner didn't want. 

Aniston purchased an 8,500 square-foot estate overlooking the Pacific Ocean recently.The property, which comes with its own vineyard, is currently being refurbished so that it is perfect for the couple to set up home in.

Oh I see it's in her name. Right. I mean - let's not get nuts- right Jen? You're just getting married it isn't for life or anything. And that's all fine, but I think Justin is missing the bigger picture. Dude. She's already stopped shaving her legs. What's next? Crapping with the door open? Maybe a farmer's wipe while your at the zoo? I know she has all the fame, and money but do you want to spend the rest of your life sleeping next to a gorilla? Hey man it's your life.

Spice Girls Reunion!

It's exactly the the world has been waiting for. A Spice Girls reunion. Oh wait no one asked for this. Except me but more in the form of a Spice Girls MILF porn reunion type thing. That's still possible right? All except for that broom stick that always leans to the side like that. They can leave her out.

I think Jerry Sandusky Has a Problem

Uh oh. Football coach and convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky has a tiny little problem. I mean aside from the fact that he could potentially be sentenced up to 500 years for his crimes.

No this sentence is a little more immediate.

An inmate who identified himself only as “Josh” told The Daily that he and other prisoners sang well-known lyrics from Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” to Sandusky. “At night, we were singing ‘Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone,’” Josh was quoted as saying. Though Sandusky was held alone in a separate cell reportedly designated for sex offenders and those with mental illnesses, he was still visible to other inmates, who mocked him with their singing when the lights went out for the night, The Daily reported.

 Yeah that seems kinda bad.  Especially considering where child abusers fall on the totem pole while in prison...

Once their crime has become known, they usually don't make it" without protective custody, said Lt. Ken Lewis, a corrections officer and spokesman at California's Los Angeles County State Prison. "There's a lot of [pedophiles] that can successfully make it … as long as they don't brag about their offense. If they do talk, "they'll get beat up," Lewis added. "In some places he may even get his throat cut."

If you don't believe ABC News I found a nifty little place called Prison Talk. It's a place with threads with titles like, Does The Prison Your Loved One is at Have a Restaurant and Should masturbation in prison be allowed. There's a lot more there but I can't figure out if it's for families, or people that are dating prisoners or what, and after a few minutes of trying to figure it out, I got bored and left. Although it does seem like the kind of place where you could cause some trouble.

Ahem. Sorry I was going off the rails there a little. Back to Jerry who's been placed on suicide watch. God I hope that means if he commits suicide, we get to watch. That's what that means right?