Pamela Anderson is Attractive

Pamela Anderson looks pretty awesome for a woman that's nearly 50 years old, had hepatitis and willingly had sex with Bret Michaels and Tommy Lee on multiple separate occasions. And believe me, that description alone would usually disqualify anyone from the "Wow She Looks Great!" club.

Moby Has an Obsessed Fan?

Moby got a pretend restraining order against a pretend obsessed fan last week. I say pretend because who's obsessed with Moby in 2016? Did I wake up in 1996 again? I sure hope so, that means I can watch a new Space Ghost Coast to Coast.

Jake Gyllenhaal Doesn't Play Ball in the House

Jake Gyllenhaal wiped out while surfing, probably while filming a recreation of the famous scene where Greg Brady wipes out while he surfing in Hawaii because he was wearing that haunted tiki doll on a necklace around his neck. I'm kidding of course, he was probably just lounging on the beach because no one was filming anything with Jake Gyllenhaal. as evidenced by the fact that the original story called him the star of Brokeback Mountain. A movie that came out 12 years ago. Try to be more careful Greg - I mean Jake - there are hidden coral reefs under those beautiful waters.

JLo and Drake are a Thing

JLo and Drake are dating I guess. And people are excited by that. For some reason. I have absolutely no idea why. I have a feeling I'd feel the same way if I somehow went into the future and was dumbfounded by everyone interacting with their televisions. Why do they do that? How do they do that? Why is that so exciting?

RIP Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher died. I'm sure you heard. Oh, you didn't? Well, she did. So sad. Anyway I used this picture instead of one of the pictures where she was being "brave" (old) because she looks exactly like my friend Rachel and ultimately this is my blog. Don't like it? Too bad jerk.

The Lazy Days of Winter

Sorry I've been lazy. That's me in the picture being lazy. Okay it isn't really, I could never be that effortlessly cool in a fedora and V-neck t-shirt. Maybe he's in the Rat Pack.  Anyhoo the Christmas weekend got away from me I guess, so today just as soon as I get home from the job that pays me money - you know, unlike this one since you guys are a bunch of tightwads and won't just mail me checks for no reason - I promise I'll find more assholes to write about. It'll be fun!

!!!BREAKING NEWS!!! Rick Parfitt Dead at 68

Rick Parfitt of the band Status Quo has died in Spain from complications of a heart attack he suffered earlier in the year. No, I have no idea who Status Quo is either. He's standing in front of Marshall amps so I'd guess they were a 70's metal act? I really have no idea I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things here. I'll miss you Status Quo guitarist I never heard of.