Don McLean is a Wonder

Have you ever heard of Don McLean? I bet you probably have and don't even realize it. He did that song "bye, bye Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levee..." and so on. Yes this song. Anyway he's 73 years old now, and was photographed with his 24 year old model girlfriend "Paris Dylan".  I mean...what? I once had a woman that was three years younger than me say I was too old for her. This woman is FIVE DECADES younger than this guy. He's not even really a huge celebrity. I couldn't name one other song he ever did. He's the very definition of the phrase One Hit Wonder. What am I missing here?  At least four wars involving the USA have started and ended since his birth in 1945. She was born in 1994. I don't know, I don't get it, Where's MY 24 year old model girlfriend? I wouldn't even know how to talk to a 24 year old and I'm multiple decades younger than he is. Hell, he's only had one more top ten hit than I've had.  Obviously he knows something that I don't because I don't even know how to get out of this story.

Kendra Wilkinson Does Stuff

Kendra Wilkinson went out for a frozen yogurt this weekend. She went with her dumb kids but I found a picture of just her by herself. Isn't she cute? I don't know what else happened, frankly I think that was the whole story, I just think she's really cute.

Ashleigh Brewer is a Tactical Genius

 Ashleigh Brewer thinks it's a great time to be a woman in Hollywood...

 'I would hate to be a middle-aged white man in Hollywood at the moment. It really is a great time for women,' Ashleigh said. 

 I hope she's right because even by my standards I have zero idea who Ashleigh Brewer is. And that's really saying something. But hey  maybe she'll get her big break now after slamming all the middle aged white men that make all of the big studio decisions in Hollywood. You never know,  during her next interview she can talk about how she's glad The Jews aren't in charge of all the banks anymore.

Halsey Lives Green

Halsey went to a Halloween party dressed as Poison Ivy. Maybe I've been wrong about Halsey this whole time. Oh her music is still really, really awful but, I mean maybe she'd like to get married and settle down. I hope I can convince her to keep the wig and the costume.

Daphne Joy is Someone

Daphne Joy, who as far as I can tell is basically "famous" for being a gold-digger, and "hang around"  that dated 50 Cent and Jason Derulo was also posting things on her Instagram (which for political reasons I've decided I'm not linking, go find it yourself). Mainly she posted this picture of her in this dress and stripper heels. Seriously, those are the shoes you picked out? And this dress?  Do you get all your fashion tips from MILF porn?  I was surprised to learn that I've written about her before. Hey, if you idiots will keep reading it, I'll write about every soulless bimbo from now until Kingdom Come it's no skin off my nose, I don't have anything better to do.

Jennifer Lopez Looks Okay

Jennifer Lopez - 49 year old Jennifer Lopez - posted this picture on her Instagram and then I saw it and shared it with you here. Isn't the internet a wonder?

Shauna Sexton Also Does Things

This is Ben Affleck's ex-girlfriend Shauna Sexton. The big story is she went out with friends. TA DAH! I put on my hat with the card in the hat band that reads PRESS to break this Earth shattering news. I was going to add she's dressed like what a 23 year old would think was sexy, but it turns out she is 23 years old so I guess that explains it. She dated Ben Affleck you know.