Friday, March 24, 2017
this quickly skimmed article. But she's a dimwit so who knows. For all I know she actually meant everyone loves caramel corn but got all the words mixed up. Goop should hire some extra editors and keep a very close eye on her. I'm available by the way. I have quite the sweet tooth and I'd love to try caramel corn with you Gwyneth so give me a call.
Because here's a real one. I also figured she didn't buy that at the concert because she was four years old in 1988 and my guess is the only AC/DC song she's ever actually heard is "You Shook Me All Night Long". I'd mention to her that AC/DC stopped being good after Bon Scott died but I bet she wouldn't even know who that is.
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Sam Frost Steps Out With a Vampy New Look" I didn't read the story so I don't know which one is Sam. Is it the dude? Or the woman. If it's the guy someone should mention to him that people don't wear suits without ties anymore. Unless that's part of being "vampy". If it's the girl that doesn't look very "vampy" unless she's wearing fake fangs. Which is kind of cool actually. I guess these people are on something called the "radio" but I wouldn't know because I have an MP3 player and haven't listened to the radio in about five years so these two could know the whereabouts of Adolf Hitler's secret South American hideout and I'd never know it.
“I’m just tired of people not knowing what they’re getting, or like accusing me of trying to hide how fat I am. I want them to know, right up front, that this is me, and this is what you’re getting, and if you don’t like it then f--k off.”Okay I'm fucking off. If you're interested, there is a gallery at the link where they say she's "showing off her figure" because I guess a circle is a figure. And don't worry, I'm afraid you can't really hide how fat you are when you're that fat. I don't care at what angle you hold the camera. Maybe next time try holding it in outer space
sexy new hairdo" which pretty much just looks like hair to me because I'm a man and if I look at a woman's head and she has hair that pretty much seals the deal for me. I bet that hair style cost $3000 because celebrities and famous people are stupid beyond belief.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Monday, March 20, 2017
filed for a divorce from her husband, Bigfoot Space Alien from 1976, Stephen Belafonte. I didn't read much beyond the headline because really, who fucking cares. I can't believe after all of these years I'm still writing about all of these assholes.
Friday, March 17, 2017
Logan's Run". Here she is pictured opening a new store called New York & Co. at Miami's Dadeland Mall. I lived almost literally right around the corner from Dadeland Mall. Here's how I remember it. Yes that's Dadeland Mall. I'm sure it looks very different now although I haven't been there in years. Oh but I'm sure there are probably shoot outs there every day because Miami is a hellhole. I hope you make it out alive Eva.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
award at the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards or something with her "band" and someone took her picture. Wow what a time to be alive. I'm sure she's a very nice person, or maybe she isn't who knows. The one thing I do know is she looks pretty much what I'd imagine one of those $7,000 sex dolls would look like if it magically came to life and suddenly started demanding you buy it "thoughtful" presents once in a while. No way supernaturally animated talking sex doll what do you think I am, crazy?
Friday, March 10, 2017
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Britney Spears' face. What is going on? It's like three shades darker than the rest of her body. And she looks...tired? Maybe she's using one of those face tanning machines. And is she hypnotized? Lobotomized? What? Don't worry Brit, I'm here for you. Let's take off that stuffy dress.
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
this Heather Locklear, Whatever. If she wants to take her new giant boobs to the beach that's fine with me. I was always partial to Heather Thomas anyway, who even today looks like America's Number One MILF pornstar unlike that other Heather who we will no longer mention starting now. Don't worry Heather, I'm over that other Heather.