Zooey Deschanel Finally Divorcing Charles Manson

The hottest member of a murderous cult (hipsters) has filed for divorce from it's de facto leader Charles Manson.

Deschanel and her musician husband Ben Gibbard announced their shocking split two months ago, and now the couple has made it official and filed for divorce.

Oh. It's not Charlie. It's... Ben Gibbard?  But the best part of a divorce is we can see how much money she makes...

 They state that she makes an average of $95,000 a month and spends $22,500 on clothes, her mortgage, health care, holidays and the like. She also give $1,500 each month to charity

In the world of celebrity, that doesn't seem like a whole lot. But I'm not even sure exactly what Zooey Deschanel does, so getting $95,000 a month for it seems like a pretty good deal for her. On the plus side she doesn't have to pay for everybody's LSD anymore. Hey maybe she can get together with Katy Perry and start a lesbian affair so a bunch of internet dorks heads will explode. This place needs a good herd thinning about now anyway.

He's Available Ladies!

No way I'm putting HIS face on here.

In a move that no one expected, Russell Crow filed for divorce from Katy Perry yesterday which probably surprised the hell out Katy Perry since she was married to Russel Brand.  Sorry all these camel faced foreigners look the same to me. Russel's statement

Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I'll always adore her and I know we'll remain friends.'His legal team filed court documents at the Superior Court in Los Angeles yesterday citing 'irreconcilable differences.'The divorce documents, which refer to Perry by her give name Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson, show there are 'community property assets,' suggesting there may not be a pre-nuptial agreement in place. It does not list a date of separation and Perry is yet to comment on the split.

On the plus side now's my chance. She already knows me from the restraining order court appearances so I got that going for me. Plus since I don't think Russel Brand is a US citizen, the constitution - if I understand the law - doesn't really apply to him so anybody that see's him walking around is now pretty much free to abuse him as they see fit so knock yourself out.