Kayti Edwards is Busy with Matthew Perry

 Matthew Perry has managed to get himself in the news a couple of times, hey look! Even I'm writing about him. This time it's telling the sordid tale of when he was a drug addict and how he'd use his girlfriend, Kayti Edwards, basically, as a drug mule

Kayti Edwards has claimed that Matthew Perry asked her to buy drugs for him while she was five months pregnant in 2011. He [would say], "No one's going to pull over a pregnant girl,"' Edwards claimed. Edwards said when she got the bag of items 'it was just like a smorgasbord' of pills, cocaine and sometimes heroin and crack She claimed while high on drugs he 'wandered into the neighbor’s pool naked' Edwards said that he once super-glued his hands to his legs in another incident.

Can you imagine being so whacked out on drugs you superglue your hands to yourself?  She also said she saw him take EIGHTY Vicodin in one day. When the fuck did he have time for food?  I don't think I've ever eaten 80 anything in one day. Try eating 80 onion rings or something, you'd probably puke. 

Honestly I haven't heard about Matthew Perry in like 15 years now all the sudden I know more about him than ever, and I wasn't all that interested 15 years ago.

By the way, Kayti's biography says she's 37 but I find that as hard to believe as supergluing your hands to yourself. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not saying that's bad, I'd love to go to a Social Distortion concert with her and maybe get some tattoos afterward as the Sun comes up, but she doesn't have to lie about her age.

Selma Blair is Fun

This story actually started out about Sela Ward because I always get her confused with Selma Blair mainly because I'd never really heard much of Selma Blair because I thought everyone was talking about Sela Ward. And Sela Ward was... uh...fundamental during my maturing process. But step aside Sela there's a new Selma in town and frankly she sounds like a lot more fun

Blair, 43, was seated in first class, enjoying a glass of wine when she started to cry and talk about fears regarding an unnamed male.  "He burns my private parts. He won't let me eat or drink," she reportedly stated. "He beats me. He's going to kill me."

....the pilot called ahead to report that a passenger on board was mixing medication with alcohol

She's 43?! Wow.  Anyway, you should never mix medication with alcohol. Not without me anyway. I'll protect you from the bad people Selma. I'll be right here if you need me, NOT burning your private parts. I have no idea how to end this so I'll just say we should hang out some time. You know just us and some wine. And there won't be any pilots around ruining our fun. Jerks.