Kristin Cavallari SEX NUDE PORNO

 Kristin Cavallari is talking about her sex life again. At this point, what is there we don't know?  In fact, it's probably all anyone knows or remembers her for now. IF they remember at all. And that's fine, want to talk about sex? I'm game. but there needs to be more than that otherwise this is just cheap attention seeking 

"Oh look the attractive blonde likes to give blow jobs!" Okay and? You guys realize that, that kind of thing wears off relatively quickly, right?  I once dated a girl that was so hot and such a freak she was barely human but after about four weeks I couldn't stand to even be in the same room with her. I guess I get it if you've never had, or will never have that experience but trust me, this is very boring

 

 

Kristin Cavallari Works on Her Sex Life

 Kristin Cavallari is in the news again and this time it's for something other than talking about who she had sex with. At least for now. She was in Las Vegas with a "boy band" and apparently it's made up of a bunch of 45 year old dudes. She's almost 40 now so they're definitely in her age group. Maybe she had sex with all of them so she can talk about it on the next "We're Boring" podcast. 

Guys, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. You don't seriously care what these a-holes do, do you?  I've been doing this in one form or another for like 15 years now at some point... Maybe I'm just in a mood.


SEXY UPDATE!!!

 I guess that's The Backstreet Boys? Like are you fucking serious? It's nice to see the person in charge of their costumes thinks they're making a low budget science fiction movie in 1982.

Kristin Cavallari SEX TAPE

Kristin Cavallari is talking about having sex. Again. What a boring woman. This seems to be the only thing she ever talks about. Kristin Cavallari is what I imagine Nikki Glaser is like in real life when she isn't doing her "comedy". In fact I don't think Nikki Glaser's comedy is really all that different from whatever sex thing Kristen Cavallari is talking about today. Blow jobs? Hand jobs in the bathroom? You know, real cutting edge stuff. Have you ever seen these two in the same room? Nope. And if you did they'd probably try to suck every guy in there off so they could have a good story to tell later on, you know, since neither one of them seems to ever talk about anything else.

You people really need to start demanding more from these a-holes because this shit is like watching paint dry 

KRISTIN CAVALLARI NUDE

 Is Kristin Cavallari dating Kevin Costner? Because I thought she wanted to date him. In the last four or five days I've seen at least three stories about this woman, and all she seems to do is go on podcasts and talk about people she's slept with, and her sex life. Which is fine, I'm all about doing your thing but isn't there anything else? It's a very weird universe these B-List "celebrities" live in. I can see why you'd want an attractive blonde on your podcast to talk about sex but Kristin Cavallari talking about who she's fucking this week has got to start getting boring after a while. She's nearly 40 years old, she must have done something else in her life worth talking about

Kristin Cavallari Wants Kevin Costner

 

 

Kristin Cavallari claims she wants to "date" Kevin Costner. I happen to think Kevin Costner seems like a pretty cool guy but I don't know that for sure. Kristin Cavallari really doesn't seem all that cool to me so I don't know if these two will work out. I can say I want to date Salma Hayek it doesn't mean it's going to happen. Maybe she should just hang out with Debbie Haak or whatever the Hell her name is and they can hang out in Chicago's River North neighborhood and act like that Standard Issue Shitheads they are.

 

 

 

KRISTIN CAVALLARI SEX TAPE

 People are still interviewing Kristin Cavallari, although why I have zero idea, and they're still calling her "The Hills star" too, even though that show went off the air FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.  There must be a weird time bubble in England or something it's really bizarre. If you had a baby the day The Hills went off the air, he'd be a sophomore in high school now learning how to drive a car, that's how long it's been gone.

Anyway, they asked who the hottest guy was she ever fucked and I've never come closer to blowing my brains out as I am right now. Since I read his name I'll tell you who it is. His name is Tyler Cameron, because of course it is. I'll even include a picture here.   I have no idea who he is or what he does. And yep. He's a "Tyler" for sure. If you asked me what that guys name was my first guess would be Tyler. If that was wrong my second guess would be Austin. I'll be honest, he looks like any other standard issue shithead to me but I'm a dude so what do i know. Now you're fully up to date on Kristin Cavallari's sex life. It's pretty much as dull as I'd ever imagined.

Kristin Cavallari Has No Job

 

Kristin Cavallari did another "photo shoot". What all these "photo shoots" are for is anyone's guess because they never actually say. Is this a job? How do you get paid for having pictures taken of yourself? I just do not understand. Maybe she's independently wealthy. Here are some pictures of the house where she grew up.  That lake? Yeah, it's private. Barrington, Illinois is about 30 minutes from where I live, and a lot of Barrington, Illinois looks like Batman lives there, so it's likely she doesn't even have to work, if she ever did.  

 She appeared in four episodes of "The League" - 10 years ago, was married to a quarterback, three years ago, and made a "special appearance" on "The Hills" remake two years ago. Are big companies really clamoring for yet another kind of attractive blonde with a spotty work history and an Instagram account to be their spokes-model? How many of these empty vessels do we need?

My fall back position is always that I'm probably the one that's out of touch but the only time I ever see her get talked about is on The Daily Mail: Where Celebrities Go to Die. I don't know man, all I can really hope for is that I'll be dead soon and that will make everything all better.

Kristin Cavallari Has a Boob Lift

 

I haven't mentioned Kristin Cavallari in a couple of days so now seems like a good time. She got a "boob lift" or something and I guess she thought she'd show everyone. I don't know, looks good to me.

 

 

 

 

Kristin Cavallari is History

 People keep interviewing Kristin Cavallari but I'm not entirely sure why and I'm not reading anything to find out.  Frankly I don't care why so long as she's wearing that outfit. See what I mean about women getting better looking after 35? Here she is in 2011 (?) Anyway this isn't supposed to be the History of Kristin Cavallari. Unless she wants to put on one of those white tennis outfits, but it'll be a case by case thing.

Kristin Cavallari Got Some New Weights

Kristin Cavallari says she "put on some weight", and I can't figure out where, but I'm pretty sure she's talking about her breasts. I mean, that's what it looks like to me. They still call her the "Hills" star even though that show ended 12 years ago. People born when that show went off the air will be in high school soon and they still say she's the star of it. She was married to a Chicago Bear at one point - Jay Cutler - but he was a shitty quarterback so that's probably why she divorced him. That's pretty much why Chicago divorced him. That guy got divorced from an entire city and a hot 35 year old blonde with (now) big tits, all in the span of just a few years. Man what a gigantic loser.

Kristin Cavallari NUDE!

I have no idea why I insist on writing about Kristin Cavallari, I mean, who really gives a fuck. I can't understand why they talk about her so much in England. Don't they have plastic blondes there? Since I'm here, she has a new boyfriend I guess. Some guy named Jeff that of course wears a baseball jacket. Why wouldn't he? They look like a couple of Standard Issue Assholes to me. Just like thousands of couples you'd see enjoying a night on the town in Chicago's River North neighborhood. Imagine a lot of super expensive bars, restaurants that are more expensive than that, dress codes from the 1990s, very limited free parking, and people from Schaumburg and Northbrook that think the only way into the city is to get off at the Ohio Street exit. Whatever. I hope your car gets towed and you have to find some way to get to Lower Wacker Drive while walking in four inch heels. Schmuck.

Kristin Cavallari is Back on the Scene

Kristin Cavallari has a new boyfriend? I guess she's dating that gorilla in the header pic but I don't know. They had pictures of two different guys I just assume the one up there is the guy she's dating. I didn't think inter-species dating was legal but she lives in California so who knows what's going on in that loony bin. Do you think they called her Kirstin Calamari in school? I would have. "Hey Squid" is what I'd say when I saw her in the hallway between classes.

Kristin Cavallari Likes Bucks

Kristin Cavallari spent the holiday weekend at her parents house in Lake Barrington Illinois. I live probably 30 or so minutes, and an entire world away from there, but in case you're wondering what the homes look like in Lake Barrington, Illinois I included a random picture of one of them in the upper right hand corner. I felt I could include a picture of a random Lake Barrington house because they all look like that there. Not some of them, all of them.  It's all winding driveways and homes hidden from the main roads by thick stands of trees. They're the kind of people that actually need a riding lawnmower to cut their grass, and they all have pretty wives in their 40s that walk teeny tiny dogs in tennis outfits, and shop at grocery stores with fancy names.  The only place these people see someone with non-white skin is on TV. It's not necessarily a bad or good thing, people live where they live, and are who they are,  I just thought you'd like to know who you're actually dealing with.

Kristin Cavallari is in the News

I saved this picture of Kristin Cavallari for reasons I no longer remember. It's getting harder and harder to write about these dead-eyed morons, so I look for stories that seem at least easy to make fun of, but it isn't easy. The media handlers for these D-List idiots are getting smarter at light speed and internet gossip sites are only to happy ti help if it means just a few more people will click a story. It's all about numbers. A site like mine has 10 readers, if I had a 1000 sites like this guess what. Now I have 10,000 readers. That's how numbers games work. That's why some of the sleazier sites still use slide shows. Each page is a different click. And now people become famous for absolutely no reason at all. Do you even know who she is? And if you do, do you know why you know? Sometimes I really get sick of this garbage.

Kristin Cavallari is All Legs

Kristin Cavallari was in New York doing something, but as usual I closed the stupid tab before I found out why and now I can't find the original story. I actually remember her from something I just don't remember what. Some reality show I think. She looks good although I hate those shoes, which I'm sure are very expensive. You people really should ask me before you go spending a bunch of money on that tacky garbage.

Kristin Cavallari Nude Photo

Kristin Cavallari posted a nude photo on her Instagram. Sorry it's of her husband, former Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. I bet you like looking at his ass though. There are a bunch of pictures of her if you want to click that link but I don't really know why you would, she's really just some woman that was on a TV show 11 years ago, and apparently she was in a movie called Spring Breakdown, which they probably should have called "Tax Write off For a Loss", but it stars unfunny internet darling Amy Poehler so you may as well forget anyone bad mouthing that total piece of crap.