Nobody Panic Blink 182 is Safe

"Punk rockers" Blink 182 were set to perform for your grandparents on Good Morning America when the hotel they were in was locked down because of the shooting in the El Paso, Texas WalMart  miles away. I found 110 hotels in the El Paso area and of the 10 hotels near the Cielo Vista Mall where the shooting took place, the nearest hotel is a Super 8 a half mile away.  Is Blink 182 really staying in a Super 8?  And why would a hotel a half mile away lock itself down? Do you know how far a half mile is? This is a half mile. Pretty far. All I know is, because of some lunatic a bunch of innocent people are dead and Blink 182 still walks the Earth.  Life really is unfair.

Liam Hemsworth Shirtless

Liam Hemsworth was at the gym with his brother Ed or whatever, and he had his shirt off - you know -  like guys do. Plus he was wearing his watch. I'm honestly not sure which one this is, did I write about him before? Probably. Or maybe it was his brother? I seriously have no idea which one is which. And I'm not kidding. I don't know anything about these two I just wrote this so you ladies can look at his abs and maybe how skinny his legs look in those pants.

Margot Robbie is in Rome

Margot Robbie was in Rome, hopefully to buy some new shoes. But more likely for the "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" premier. Well, she can always stop somewhere on her way back to the airport I guess.

Vanessa Hudgens Wants to Help

Vanessa Hudgens "shares her secret to a long lasting relationship" is a story I saw this morning. I've linked it in case you want advice from some dope that probably couldn't find her own house on a map of her neighborhood. I'd be more concerned with the secret to a long lasting career because until I saw this story, I didn't even remember Vanessa Hudgens was a person that was alive on Earth.

The One Stooges

Pretentious weirdo Celine Dion got a new hair cut. I believe it's called "The Moe Howard". Harper's Bazaar published the pictures on their Instagram which I'm not linking. Shortly after this picture was taken, a pipe burst in the bathroom and when Celine offered to fix it,  all kinds of wacky hi-jinks ensued. Including but not limited to Celine accidentally stabbing the photographer in the butt with a pitchfork, one guy getting his head glued to the door, someone sitting on a thumb tack and various monkey wrenches being dropped on the photographer's assistant's head.

Another Kennedy Bites the Dust

Another member of the Kennedy family managed to off themselves...

A family statement had confirmed earlier that Saoirse Kennedy Hill, the 22-year-old granddaughter of Ethel and the late Sen. Robert F. Kennedy, had died at the home, though no cause of death was disclosed. A report in The New York Times, however, said the daughter of Courtney Kennedy Hill -- one of Robert and Ethel Kennedy's 11 children -- had died of an apparent drug overdose.

Poor little rich girl. Too bad. It wasn't her fault the Kennedys are some of the most despicable people around, and you can't choose your family.  Hell except for his father's mob connections in Chicago, John Kennedy would never have been president. That's all old news here in Chicago but of course you never hear about it because of a fawning press and any number of other soulless, mindless people that would suck off anyone in this so called "Camelot". Whatever the fuck that means. You don't have to die of a drug overdose anymore. It's 2019, not 1919. Get help. Well, there's the big news I'm done talking about these assholes and the sooner they're all gone the better.

Kerry Washington Goes Traveling

Kerry Washington was on a wild cocaine binge at Studio 54 in 1977 and accidentally stumbled into the time machine room where she was magically transported to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association banquet yesterday. I didn't say I was complaining. Hey Kerry I have Fritz the Cat on my You Tube machine if you feel like stopping by. Bring some Quaaludes.