Cameron Diaz is Haunting

GAH! What the fuck is that?! Oh sorry it's just Cameron Diaz. C'mon say it for me just once. "You'll never retrieve the Necronomicon!" Have you ever seen Army of Darkness? Man I love that movie

Johnny Depp is a Rocker

Someone took a picture of Johnny Depp going to dinner. Judging by the sport coat I'd say it was the Early Bird Special over at Golden Corral but I'm not here to talk about the sport coat. What I always wondered was, do you have to put on all those necklaces every day? Or do you just leave them on all the time. Maybe that's why Amber split. Maybe she was sick of playing second fiddle to your 80's rocker costumes. And right on schedule it looks like he's sporting the beginnings of a faux-hawk. Something about men hitting their 40's and 50's forces them to get into the whole faux-hawk thing. I have no idea why. But I guess if anything, the necklaces and the faux-hawk will make Christmas shopping for him much, much easier, and as luck would have it I have coupons for the Tap Out shirt store. I was going to surprise you but, Merry Christmas John!

Lisa Marie Presley is the King of Divorce

After 10 years of marriage Lisa Marie Presley filed for divorce from her fourth husband Michael "The Chapeau" Lockwood

 In the filing Presley, 48, cited irreconcilable differences as grounds for the divorce and requested full custody of the couple’s twin girls, Harper and Finley.

  Don't worry he gets to keep all of his wacky hats. When you're ready to settle down LM (I call her LM) I'm ready to be ex-husband number five. You know where to find me, you know, hanging out next to the dumpster by the 7-11.

Leslie Jones Wants Free Dresses

Leslie Jones is in the new Ghostbusters remake and decided to cry when designers wouldn't give her free stuff to wear to the movie's premier.

 It’s so funny how there are no designers wanting to help me with a premiere dress for movie.

 Sheesh. I must've missed some part of this story somewhere. Did designers give all the other cast members dresses but skipped her? Or is she always just an entitled jerk. I read a half a dozen different versions of this and all I see are quotes of her basically crying about not getting free clothes. On the plus side maybe since she's so good at remembering things she'll remember being in the biggest flop of 2016

FERGIE TOPLESS

This is Fergie? Why does she look so different. I always thought she was very hot and I think she actually looks better now that she's in her 40's. I heard she was a crackhead at one point is that true? I guess I could look it up but I already stopped caring. And every story I read, said this picture of her "topless" was leaked. Maybe they should buy a dictionary and look up the word leaked, because Fergie posted this herself to her million plus followers on Instagram. They're saying leaked like I suddenly decided to post all that video footage of my hot neighbor, but maybe I've said too much. Don't worry Constance, your really weird secrets are safe with me.

Ciara is Coming to America Then Going to Dinner

So THIS is Ciara. I guess she's a "pop star" but I've never heard of her and I'm super hip. For instance I know the guy she's going to dinner with is either the greatest electronic drums/keytar player for the latest cool band or he's Derryl Jenks from Coming to America. Be careful Ciara the guy's a player

Hi Jennifer Aniston

Nothing to see here, move along. I SAID DON'T LOOK YOU CREEPS SHE'S MINE.