Caitlyn Bruce Jenner Dresses Up.

Caitlyn Jenner went to dinner immediately following his meeting with The Council of the Elders on Krypton. I wonder what they decided to do about General Zod.

Is Lindsay Lohan Pregnant?

Lindsay Lohan might be pregnant. Or maybe she isn't. Who knows, drug addicts are liars.  Her father said she texted him saying, "I'm pregnant" but maybe he's lying too. Remember what I said about drug addicts a few seconds ago? Well, I don't know if her father is a drug addict but he sure looks like every drug addict I've ever known and I'm a great judge of people, I do it all day long so I have lots of practice. The headline where I swiped the picture from asked, why if she is in fact pregnant, is she smoking and I think I have the answer to that. She's a moron that's why. I figured that out because I'm like a detective. I've also been alive and concious since before 2005.

Johhny Depp Sucks

Johnny Depp dressed up in his best rock star costume and played at some state fair in Pas Robles, California on Monday night. You know, the one night everyone goes to see all the great bands.  I don't get it,  I am at a loss to explain this. I'm going to admit flat out that I've never heard the Hollywood Vampires but I can promise you one thing. They suck. Clue number 1: Look how he's dressed. NO ONE living outside of a time warp dresses like that to play a concert anymore. Except Motley Crue or maybe a Marylin Manson tribute band. And this...     Those are lyrics from "Manic Depression" by Jimi Hendrix. Yes, yes I know all about Jimi Hendrix's place in music history but the man has been dead for nearly 50 years, maybe it's time to move forward a little bit don't you think? I don't know how to end this I'm tired of talking about this ridiculous band.

Site News

I'm feeling a little under the weather today. Maybe it's all the heat. Maybe I'm just tired. Whatever the reason I won't have much - or anything - really new today beyond the Miss Cleo thing. Which I was surprised to hear about. Not because she died but because for some reason people really seemed to care. Wasn't she some infomercial psychic from the 90's? I mean, it's terrible she died but c'mon. And you know it's bad when you can't find the energy even to make fun of Johnny Depp's asinine clothes, or his even shittier band. Maybe as the day goes on I'll feel better and tomorrow I'll wow everyone with more Pulitzer Prize winning content. Anyway, see you tomorrow.

Miss Cleo Died

World famous psychic Miss Cleo died yesterday. Do you think she knew the date she would die? HAHAHAHAHA. You see? It's cutting edge stuff like that that keeps them coming back. You could learn a thing or two, you so called "professional" comedians

Jennifer Aniston is at the Airport

Jennifer Aniston arrived at the airport in L.A. on Monday wearing a scarf in July and sunglasses at night. Maybe she was at the airport dressed like that because she and fellow fighter ace Snoopy just landed their WWI planes there.

Rachel McAdams is a Living Pin Up

Rachel McAdams was at ComicCon on Friday which strangely I've heard very little about. I usually have to wade through hundreds of comments all over the internet by slobbering losers talking about how excited they are to be going to this giant, annual loserfest but I guess not this year for some reason, thank Christ. She was there to answer questions about her new movie "Doctor Strange". Questions like, "Is this a movie?" and "No one's ever heard of this have they?" and also "Can I bring my mom?"  She decided to show up in a really short skirt and high heels to show these miserable shut-ins what a real woman looks like and I think she did a pretty damn good job. Man she's got some serious gams doesn't she? If this was the 1940's I'd paint her on the side of my plane as I shot dirty rotten Huns out of the sky like the hrero that I am, as I still like to use words, and phrases like "gams" and "quit beatin' your gums Killroy" from the 1940's. Oh yes, by the way, she was there with her co-star Benedict Cumberbatch as he stood around looking like one of the aliens from the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind like he always does so he was a big hit too.