Brie Larson is Still Kind of New to the Club

Well what do you know, this Gucci Halloween party/film fest or whatever it was has been a regular gold mine because Brie Larson went too and she was dressed up as the inside of Zoe Saldana's husband's "Master of the Night" coffin. These weirdo Hollywood types probably went to this thing straight from one of their Blood Orgies or whatever these freaks do during their off time.

Zoe Saldana and The Vampire Wars

Zoe Saldana Of "Star Trek Wars" fame was at a film festival that was sponsored by Gucci. I hope she arrived in a limo that had those really big 24 inch rims and a flat billed hat since that seems to be Gucci's target audience. I'm not sure which "Star Fighter" movies she was in since there are so many of them now I lost track. I know about the one where Luke blows up the Death Star, The one where Captain Kirk yells about Khan, and the one with the whales. She must be in one of those. Or maybe it was a remake of one of those. Maybe they'll tie it all together on the 65th anniversary release that I heard was going to be called "Star Spank: The Attack of the Sort of Famous B-List People". The one thing I do know is, she went with her husband Frenchman, Marco Perego, and I have $50 that says that guy thinks he's a vampire. She had to have armed body guards hold him at gunpoint while he got dressed so he wouldn't put on the frilly tuxedo shirt with the giant poofy sleeves. "Zoe where is my vial of teenager blood you know I have to taste blood before I go to a party" he probably said. Hollywood people are always such frigin creeps.

Mick Jagger Does...This

What the fuck?

Mel B Walks Around Naked

Mel B was interviewed by an Australian magazine called "Who" because Australian magazines are what's known in the business as "Star Makers". Well inside this nifty little interview Mel made this statement...

'I walk around my house naked after having a big bath. I do this about three or four times a week. I am not one for wearing too many clothes.'

What's a Big Bath? Frankly I'm not sure what to say. Good? I'm all for it? umm...what else, oh how about,  "Hey Mel! Can I borrow your weight set? I need to work on my abs, I'll be by after your bath okay?"  Whatever, you think you could come up with something better? They don't call me Mr Smooth because I'm hairless you know.

Lady Gaga's Costume Makes Sense Now. Sort of.

Lady Gaga continued what she's calling her "Dive Bar Tour" which goes a long way explaining how she's been dressing lately. Now you KNOW Lady Gaga has never actually been in a dive-bar because nobody dresses like that in a dive bar. A real dive bar has an old man sitting there starring off into space with a beer and a glass of water sitting in front of him at 11:30 in the morning. And at night it's sometimes got scary looking guys shooting pool and a couple of 53 year old overweight women with terrible hair-dos and low cut tops playing Bon Jovi and Journey or maybe sometimes Thin Lizzy (if you're lucky) songs on the jukebox. A real dive bar doesn't have the kind of J.A.P.-y looking daughter of a periodontist pretending to be a hillbilly hanging out in there with a bunch of gay, shirtless ab mannequins hanging on her every word. I have a very strong feeling that when Lady Gaga got pulled over when she was on spring break in Corpus Christi back in her younger days the second question she would ask the cop was "Don't you know who I am?"  You want to go to a dive bar Lady Gaga? I'll take you to a dive bar. Bring your body guards.

Roxanne Pallet is Adorable

Here's a new actress I just discovered named Roxanne Pallet. That's right I discovered her. She's in some new movie called "Recoil", that I'll absolutely never see but she's cute isn't she? Here's a description of her career from where I stole this picture...

Roxanne left the Emmerdale character Jo Sugden behind in 2008 after three years, she then played a schoolgirl on Waterloo Road and went on to feature in Casualty

 What? What the Hell does that say? I read it 10 times and it still doesn't make any sense to me. They may as well have used Egyptian hieroglyphs for all the good their terrible writer did. C'mon Roxy we don't need this nonsense, let's go for a walk and maybe we'll get to pet some puppy dogs or something.

Rita Ora Pretends to be Cool

Rita Ora is always on all the British celebrity sites. Mostly because she's British, I can't really think of any other reason.  It certainly can't be because she came home from dinner last night I mean who cares? She's a singer of some kind, probably rap or whatever people listen to now a days when they aren't watching "Lip Sync Battle". Remember when everyone pretended to be into "World Music". It had something to do with Hacky Sack or juggling sticks or Seattle or something, once again I don't know.  I pay attention to trends like I paid attention in school.  Speaking of which, I really wrote this mostly to say I had that exact shirt in high school. And I'll bet you my last 25 cents Rita Ora couldn't name one single Cheap Trick song. She probably bought that thinking she was supporting oppressed sex trade workers or something. By the way if I lose the bet I'll have to owe you.