Tom Holland is Forgettable

Tom Holland was hurt that Gwyneth Paltrow didn't remember working with him. I have to say I'm not really surprised. I just read about him and I already don't remember who he is. But he shouldn't feel too badly,  I have a feeling Gwyneth Paltrow is a human goldfish and has about a 15 second memory duration and probably doesn't even remember lunch. I included a link that should take you to the video if you're interested because there's ZERO chance I'm turning off my ad blocker for the E! website. 

Sara Sampaio Woke Up Like This

I know I said I wasn't going to write about Sara Sampaio anymore, but I was angry, and sometimes people say things when they're mad. I hope you can forgive me Sara I guess maybe I'll just try to be a better man. Here, have a puppy and this basket of kittens.

Jaden Smith is Climbing the Walls

Will Smith's 20 year old son, Jaden finally appeared in public without his human costume officially revealing he's a Lizard Person. Somebody get this guy mental health help because he needs it. Seriously. Or maybe they should make him get a job at Just Tires or as a plumbers assistant or something for a couple of years. Just so he knows what work is.

Marla Maples Goes Shopping

This blog is dedicated to Marla Maples now. Here she is shopping with her giant daughter (foreground). I don't know what they bought but judging by how that mannequin behind her is dressed, they probably bought clothes that cost more than my last three cars combined. Hey Marla if you want to buy me a shirt you have to get the ones with the athletic fit so they look normal on a more muscular torso if you get my drift.

Marianne Williamson is Somebody

I'd never heard of Marianne Williamson before this morning but I guess she's a candidate for president. Or a Studio 54 waitress I'm not sure. I'm a big fan of disco though so I hope it's the later .

Amanda Bynes is Crazy for Fashion

Did you know Amanda Bynes was at an in-patient mental health facility? I didn't either.

ET has confirmed that the 33-year-old actress is still living at an inpatient mental health facility in the Los Angeles area. Back in March, multiple outlets reported that Bynes checked into a facility following a stress-related relapse.

Yeah sure. A "stress related relapse". I didn't even know she was addicted to something. I don't even know what it is she's addicted to but I bet it's not love. It turns out that she's doing so well with her recovery that the facility decided to give her a  pass to graduate(?) Man I really don't know anything about what Amanda Bynes has been up too these days.

ET's confirmation follows Bynes' graduation from Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising earlier this week. A friend close to Bynes tells ET that Bynes "got a day pass because she’s been doing well enough in treatment."

Well how about that. Who would have guessed. The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising? Is that above a bowling alley?  I honestly don't know where to go with this because it should seem pretty obvious that I have no idea about what's going on with Amanda Bynes so if you want to know call her up maybe she'll fill you in.

Stay out of Russell's Way

I don't feel like writing today so here's Russell Brand out shopping while dressed like an old mall walker with his little fanny pack. I have no idea why people keep writing about this guy. The last thing I remember him in was the remake when he destroyed the movie "Arthur" eight years ago. Honestly I never even realize he's still around until I see his gigantic mug on some UK gossip site. Maybe if British people could come up with better celebrities they could stop talking about Russell Brand.