Iggy Azalea Official Porn

 Iggy Azalea has made the move in to full on XXX porn! OMFGZMOGFART

The Grammy nominated artist with more than 17 million followers on Instagram will be performing at the annual 2024 AVAN Awards.

No she didn't. She's not doing the kind of porn like the women that are literally dozens of order of magnitudes hotter than her that you can see online at the click of a cursor, but it got boomer dopes and teenagers with TikTok brain to click the story. She's performing at the AVN Awards. Sort of the Oscars of Porn. She may offer hardcore stuff on her OnlyFans but I'll never, ever find out and if you tell me I'll blow up your car.

But hey, if you want to pay to see Iggy Azalea naked that's up to you. My brother likes to eat fried chicken with ketchup so to each their own I guess. Either way it's only wrong if you force me to do it.

Scarlett Johansen Sees Red

Scarlett Johansson had a Christmas party last week. I think it was a costume party because she dressed up like a mean grade school teacher. Or maybe she just has Resting European Face. There was a bunch of other people there like Lorne Michaels although why you'd invite that guy is beyond me. I definitely get the idea that he isn't as funny or fun to be around as you might imagine.  I saved this more than a week ago and the guest list was obviously unremarkable. Her husband was there too but I have zero idea what that guy's name is. Either way I hope everyone had fun during the Celebrity Money Pile orgy they had at the end of it all.
 

Paris Hilton is a Gift

 Paris Hilton dressed up like a Slutty Santa, probably for Christmas but who knows for sure. I saved this before Christmas then forgot to write about her, like 99.9% of the rest of the world. I hope she had sex or whatever.

Hugh Jackman Comes Out for Christmas

 Hugh Jackman celebrated Christmas by announcing he's gay. He didn't say anything out loud, he did it by wearing that yellow shoes/shirt/golden jacket ensemble, while standing next to his tastefully decorated Christmas tree. Sometimes you have to be able to read between the lines.

Taylor Swift Sucks

 Haha! What? I thought people stopped giving each other hickeys when they were like 14 years old, and these two are in their mid-30s. Mathematically practically middle age.  And hickeys don't happen by accident. It's not like you accidentally hit your neck on something, you have to actively perform this action. 

I will say I did have a girl give me a hickey once, I'm not going to go into detail... let's just say it was extremely painful. I will say that was the last time I got a hickey and I promise I wasn't in my mid-30s that's just how much it hurt I remember it to this day.

Travis Kelce Gets More Ice

 Taylor Swift's boyfriend, Travis Kelce, walked around with his shirt off because that's what guys do I guess. I don't know, I'm a dude so I can't really judge another dude. What I will say is he doesn't look anywhere near as muscular as I thought an NFL tight end/wide receiver would look. He looks more like a bar back in a hipster bar than a running back on a football team but I don't have to date him. Or throw a football to him. Hey look I only wrote this so the two women that read this blog get to look at something beside Elizabeth Hurley in a bikini okay so get off my back.

Gwyneth Paltrow is Hot

 Gwyneth Paltrow went somewhere warm enough so she could wear a bikini. I like looking at this picture for a couple of reasons. Number one, I like mostly naked women. And two, it's currently 39 degrees in Chicago and it's raining that kind of misty rain where it's not really rain yet it's kind of everywhere so even standing under an awning or umbrella would do you zero good and this kind of picture takes me to a happier place. 

Also I somehow managed to get really sick and this is sort of low hanging fruit. Speaking of fruit she was with her daughter, Apple, and trust me, Gwyneth is hotter. Way hotter. So much so that I actually kind of feel bad for the kid. I won't personally include any pictures of a kid (even though she is 19) because as far as I know she never asked to be famous but I will include a link that has pictures if you're that curious. 

Can you imagine being a 19 year old girl and you bring home some guy and you look out at the pool and Gwyneth Paltrow is out there in a bikini? I can imagine a lot of self-harm like cutting and eating disorders going on in that house but I don't have a daughter so maybe I'm wrong (I'm not)