Britney Spears is Drowning

Everybody relax, Britney Spears is releasing a new single! Didn't you know she still records music? It's called "Swimming in the Stars", so not only is she releasing a new single, she's 40 years old and releasing singles aimed at high school sophomores. Once again I'll ask... She's young(ish), attractive, rich, why not just stop all of this madness and buy a ranch in Montana and ride horses all day? Do you really want to be remembered for Swimming with the Stars? Go out on top.  I know that was 114 years ago but you had a good run

I'm a Fashion Expert

Okay so I hadn't exactly planned on writing about Britney Spears, but since I clicked on this picture for "other" reasons something started to bother me. Why do women insist on wearing those black heels with everything. That looks really awful. "I think I'll put on this slinky, sexy red dress, and to top it off? Black Frankenstein shoes" Maybe she plans on battling the Mummy or something. Wouldn't any other color have been better?  Memorial Day is in like three days I think white would have been fine. Or maybe tan. Tan would have definitely been better. She has $150 million dollars, it's not like she couldn't stop at JCPenney and buy some tan heels. Thanks for ruining the mood Britney. I'll have to get back to you. You can keep the shoes on.

G'Day Britney

 Britney Spears proved she's already prepared for Halloween even though it's nine months away when she showed off her new costume, The Sexy Crocodile Dundee. I'm not sure why a hot girl in a bikini and high heels only garnered 12,000 likes on Instagram, but maybe everyone was busy liking all those pigs dressed up in costumes. Have you ever seen that? So cute! Anyway, she's now way out in the lead for my "Bobby's Best" award so I guess we'll just have to see what Kate Beckinsale and Jennifer Aniston have in store for us come October. I'm always available if they want to send me some pictures. Nothing crazy this time you two you're going to get me in trouble.

Britney Spears Wanders the Desert

Britney Spears has a new single or album or whatever it is she does and I just thought I'd let you know. Oh I'll never listen to it but she used the header picture for publicity and I had to post it. It's all right there in the pre-nup I have with her so I have to. Don't worry B, I'll be sure and send you  certified copies of all the documents you need to sign before our big day.