A Quick Test

I can't find anything worth writing about and I'm kinda bored so I came up with a little quiz for you. Ready? One of these women is 26 years old, and the other just recently turned 50. Which one is which? There is no answer key because if you get it wrong you're a brain damaged dumb ass and shouldn't be reading this anyway.  I've never been very good at giving quizzes that's why I couldn't be a teacher. Well...that and all that other stuff but I don't really talk about that much anymore.

What Happened to Pamela Anderson's Head?

I swiped this story about model (?) Alice Eve (?) from WWTDD because I'm lazy and also because when I first saw this picture I thought Pamela Anderson had suddenly developed Down's Syndrome, which probably wouldn't be bad if you wanted to sleep with her because she'd be easier to trick than usual.

Justin Bieber is a Huge Stud Now

 Tired of getting sand kicked in your face?  Justin Bieber sure was so he started pumping iron, instead of having big burly guys pumping him. Allegedly.

Bieber’s gone buff! Justin Bieber flaunted his six pack abs in the latest photo he posted on his Twitter page. The singer looked noticeably toned in the photo, wearing tracksuit pants that made his white boxer briefs visible.

Every story about this should be titled..."Justin Bieber Shows of his 'Muscles'" making sure to put the word muscles in quotation marks. I bet at the rate he's going, he can win third or fourth place in an IFBB Women's Fitness Bikini  Model contest with no problem at all.

Facial Symmetry is a Puzzle

It's already been a long day and it's only 10:30 am so I could be misinterpreting this story, so maybe someone can help me out...

Many of our most famous faces prove that the old "perfect symmetry" beauty rule can (and should) be broken. In this gallery, we've flipped the pictures of your favorite stars to see what they'd look like if one side of their face was exactly the same as the other—aka perfect symmetry.Weird, right?

So, are they saying these celebrity faces are asymmetrical, therefore proving the theory of a symmetrical face wrong? Because if that's what they're saying they have failed miserably. I will suggest that Ryan Reynolds looks like a freak, but I aside from some abs, I don't know what women see in him anyway. But Halle Berry looks the same no matter what, and shes hot as fuck.  I don't know who the weirdo is in the third set of pictures.

 Am I reading this wrong? Are they saying they're symmetrical and therefore pretty? Or are they saying they are not symmetrical and therefore pretty. Because they look pretty symmetrical to me. And just for the record, this is the most I've ever used the word symmetrical in my entire life. I don't know, maybe my reading comprehension is off. It's not like I'm ever gonna have sex with any of these people anyway. At least not that they'll be aware of.

Why?

I bet you'll be surprised to hear that I've been punched, and if it hasn't happened to you, I can tell you it hurts and you really aren't missing anything. Still I guess if your gonna get punched it might as well be by a cute girl with tattoos and not some behemoth wildebeest of a woman like you might find in a certain bar just outside of Chicago. I'm willing to bet they hit harder than that guy with the highlights though.

UPDATE!  The person with the highlights is a guy isn't it?

Hire Billy For Your Next Party or Flea Market

Way to shoot for the stars...

After a two year campaign to get his far-flung friends together for a great time the irrepressible Seattle man has actually persuaded Idol to play at his birthday party Friday night.

I's not as if Billy Idol has a whole lot of other stuff going on. I guess Seattle really is the land where music goes to die. Maybe Billy can hire that bass player from Nirvana that's a city councilman or something now. I could be wrong of course but I haven't really thought much about him since roughly 1989. Which - coincidentally - is the same year my girlfriend Lisa dumped me. That bitch. Of course I blamed Billy Idol at the time, why wouldn't I? Nothing is ever my fault.

Adam's Apple

When did Steven Tyler join the cast of "Real Housewives of New York"?