Kristen Cavallari Has a Nice Ass

 

Kristen Cavallari posted this picture on her Instagram, and then I wrote about it. Pretty neat huh?

Lauren Goodger is Still Someone

 Lauren Goodger was out lumbering around town doing whatever it is she does. Shockingly, I've written about Lauren Goodger before. Here she was photographed yesterday (Sunday) pregnant with a rhinoceros. She's always pregnant. Of course a rhinoceros has an 18 month gestation period so maybe she's still pregnant from the last time. I wouldn't know though because I'm never reading or writing about her again so there will be no follow up.

I Love Jordana Brewster

 I feel like I should know who Jordana Brewster is. Wait let me rephrase that. I finally know who Jordana Brewster is. Her ex-husband was mentioned briefly and it's this guy. So obviously she doesn't have very high standards and doesn't care much at all about physical appearances. I'm more than willing to overlook that though if she wants to have dinner with me despite the fact that I'm extremely handsome. Hell, I'll even let her pay for dinner. I'll drive but we'll have to use her car. I bet this sounds like a pretty sweet deal to her right about now.

SEXY PRE-POSTING UPDATE

Further image searches have determined a potential problem. I want you to look at this picture... The only thing I'll say is, "it's always in the eyes". I'm still willing to try don't get me wrong. But you have to be very, very careful. Just take my word for it. To someone like you, you don't see a problem. But to more worldly people like me and her ugly ex-husband... well... let's just say we know better. Still I'm willing to give it a couple months.Who knows maybe I'm wrong (I'm not).

Kate Hudson TOPLESS

 Kate Hudson posted what was called a "topless" picture on Instagram. And while technically it's correct, this is more about following the letter of the law and not the spirit. In fact because of this loose interpretation I wasn't even going to write this story but I think she's really, really cute. I don't even care that she has tiny boobs. I feel I've really grown as a person.

Jena Frumes is Hot. Stupid.

 Jason Derulo's ex-girlfriend Jena Frumes put on a bikini and then complained about how Jason Derulo cheated on her and he doesn't even pay child support...

...It's unfortunate my situation didn't work out because we once did aspire to be married but maybe it's best to be single than to be in a relationship & constantly be disrespected & cheated on and lied to.'

I've never even met Jason Derulo and I can practically guarantee you that that guy isn't going to pay child support. How can these people that are so physically attractive be this monumentally stupid. See? This is why I hesitate to come back to writing this stuff because stories like this make me want to walk off of a roof. It's hugely stressful to constantly be immersed in this idiocy. And then I realize I'M not the problem, Jen Frumes is, so why doesn't she walk off a roof so I can go back to wondering why my motorcycle wont start.

Jessica Simpson is Going Places

 Jessica Simpson is hot again. Really, really hot. I HATE those shoes. But man I love women in hats. I also think super long hair on women over the age of 12 looks ridiculous but quite frankly, she could wear one of those rainbow fright wigs and I'd probably be okay with it.

Rhian Sugden NUDE

I realize the writing here has been spotty at best. I don't know, I get busy and I've been working a lot at my job that - you know - pays me money so I can buy food, and I guess this fell by the wayside. Couple that with the celebrity news being the same eight people over and over again and I guess I just took a break. 

And then as luck would have it, somebody went to the trouble of writing about someone named Rhian Sugden who was mostly naked for their story. And for reasons I won't bore you with, I couldn't use the "mostly naked" pictures they included with their garbage story, so I did a quick image search and accidentally found pictures of her actually naked so I blew the old ones into the weeds and just went with that one you see there.  And yes, there are others. Lots and lots.  Caution. Don't click that link if you don't like seeing hot girls naked.

So they're slowly drawing me back in with naked pictures of Rhian Sugden and frankly it's working. Kind of like setting up a box on a stick to trap a rabbit with a piece of lettuce only they used pictures of a naked girl that I bumbled into.