Shania Twain is in the Pink

 Shania Twain - yes that's Shania Twain - has pink hair now and everyone is freaking out. And when I say "everyone" I mean teenagers and gay men on Instagram. Otherwise no one cares.  There was a time when she was so hot you couldn't look directly at her.  I'm not saying she isn't how now I'm just saying she was hot then too.  Frankly I'm all for the pink hair... Pink blue, or that jet black with the purple mixed in holy shit.She was married to that guy from the Van Halen song did you know that? The "c'mon Dave give me a break" guy. Man that was recorded in 1981, how old are these people?

Anyway, those fake teeth are more of a concern for me than the pink hair. The woman has hundreds of millions of dollars at her disposal and she went with those? The only reason I even say that is because how are people like you and me with no money supposed to get good fake teeth if someone with $100 million dollars in the bank winds up with $100,000 worth of plastic Chiclets in their face. Whatever she's still hot. even with the pink hair or maybe that makes her hotter I really don't know, I'm just trying to wrap this up.

Alyssa Milano Takes Her Jugs on Vacation

 Alyssa Milano stuffed her overweight tits into a bikini and went on vacation with her standard issue husband. I didn't bother to see where they went, but looking at these two assholes, I'd guess probably Cabo San Lucas, or Dominican Republic where I'm 100% sure they rented jet-skis and drank Margaritas at a swim up bar somewhere, and told the bartender, "Red Stripe is the best beer on Earth!" . Or maybe they went wherever The Love Boat always went and got into some wacky hi-jinks with Gopher and Doc. 

What's the matter you couldn't find a sunny beach in the good ol' US of A? With any luck they'll get kidnapped and held for ransom that nobody will pay. That's what you get for going to a Third World country. I suppose it could be Key West but really, what's the difference.

!!!! BREAKING HAILEY BIEBER NEWS !!!!!

 Justin Bieber's wife Hailey is pregnant. I wonder who the father is.

EMERGENCY OLIVIA CULPO BREAKING NUDES STORY

 Olivia Culpo had her lips dissolved before her wedding. Lip filler? I have no idea what that is or why you'd do that or how it's dissolved do they throw acid in your face.  If my fiance showed up to our wedding with no lips I'd just call the whole thing off.  One last question...

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS

God it's so fucking weird to me. Watching you people talk and read about this bullshit must be how that chimpanzee lady felt when she was watching those stupid monkeys try to get a banana out of a milk bottle or whatever the fuck she did.

Ginger Zee is Somebody New (to me)

 Why are women meteorologists always so attractive? That's somebody named Ginger Zee (yeah sure). You don't think she's hot? Because I do. I guess she's on GMA whatever that is. Good Morning America? Can't they just say that? Why does Good Morning America have to abbreviate their name it's not like the unemployable dimwits watching it at 9:30 in the morning are too busy to pronounce the whole name

PARIS HILTON NUDE

I'm nearly 100% certain I said I'd never write about Paris Hilton ever again and then she shows up mostly naked, and so I honestly, don't know what else you'd like me to do. She meets three of my most basic requirements. 

She's hot, she's naked, and she's in her mid-40.

I don't know why she was naked and I always figure it's better to just not ask. As long as they seem lucid and not totally insane, any reason is good enough for me. Especially if they're 6'1 in five inch heels.

Dwayne Johnson is an A-Hole

 Dwayne Johnson, or, The Rock, for those of you who don't know is apparently a huge pain in the ass...

Earlier on Tuesday, two separate reports surfaced, claiming The Rock was constantly late and unprofessional while working on the upcoming Red One with Chris Evans.

 The report also claimed that Johnson would arrive upwards of eight hours late to set, sometimes forcing the production to shoot around him. 

Sources also claimed that, on other productions, Johnson would try to save time by urinating in an empty Voss water bottle and then have his team or a production assistant dispose of it on set. 

'It was a fucking disaster,' one insider told The Wrap while another said: 'Dwayne truly doesn’t give a fuck'

Imagine being so desperate to be in Hollywood you'd volunteer to be the guy that carries Dwayne's Bottle O' Urine. You people are really pathetic. Even if these reports are true by only half, imagine what kind of a gigantic asshole you'd have to be to behave this way. Especially since only people with "learning disabilities" give a shit about this asshole

 I'm sorry, just that huge phony plastic grin alone of his, sets off alarm bells for me. Everything about this guy gives me the creeps.