Spice Girls Reunion!

It's exactly the the world has been waiting for. A Spice Girls reunion. Oh wait no one asked for this. Except me but more in the form of a Spice Girls MILF porn reunion type thing. That's still possible right? All except for that broom stick that always leans to the side like that. They can leave her out.

I think Jerry Sandusky Has a Problem

Uh oh. Football coach and convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky has a tiny little problem. I mean aside from the fact that he could potentially be sentenced up to 500 years for his crimes.

No this sentence is a little more immediate.

An inmate who identified himself only as “Josh” told The Daily that he and other prisoners sang well-known lyrics from Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” to Sandusky. “At night, we were singing ‘Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone,’” Josh was quoted as saying. Though Sandusky was held alone in a separate cell reportedly designated for sex offenders and those with mental illnesses, he was still visible to other inmates, who mocked him with their singing when the lights went out for the night, The Daily reported.

 Yeah that seems kinda bad.  Especially considering where child abusers fall on the totem pole while in prison...

Once their crime has become known, they usually don't make it" without protective custody, said Lt. Ken Lewis, a corrections officer and spokesman at California's Los Angeles County State Prison. "There's a lot of [pedophiles] that can successfully make it … as long as they don't brag about their offense. If they do talk, "they'll get beat up," Lewis added. "In some places he may even get his throat cut."

If you don't believe ABC News I found a nifty little place called Prison Talk. It's a place with threads with titles like, Does The Prison Your Loved One is at Have a Restaurant and Should masturbation in prison be allowed. There's a lot more there but I can't figure out if it's for families, or people that are dating prisoners or what, and after a few minutes of trying to figure it out, I got bored and left. Although it does seem like the kind of place where you could cause some trouble.

Ahem. Sorry I was going off the rails there a little. Back to Jerry who's been placed on suicide watch. God I hope that means if he commits suicide, we get to watch. That's what that means right?

Gimme Anything This Much

 The Daily Mail has pictures of what they're calling a voluptuous Mariah Carey. Here's an action photo of her ordering cake for dessert. I want a piece twice as big as this is what she is saying.

Great Preparation Kathy

Former cruise pitch woman, (she was hot right?) and talk show robot - and I'm sure she did some other stuff too I'm just not exactly sure what - decided to ask Martin Short how his lovely wife was doing, to which Martin replied "skeletonizing". No I'm pretty sure he didn't, but he could have because Kathy didn't bother to find out that she's been dead for two years.

You and Nancy have one of the greatest marriages of anybody in show business. How many years now for you guys?'

Confused, Short replied: 'We... have... married ... 36 years.'
'But you are still like, in love,'Gifford went on, prompting Martin to proffer: 'Madly in love, madly in love.'
'Why?' a smiling Gifford said, continuing the exchange.
'Cute, I'm cute,' Martin replied, before Kotb jovially interjected: 'That is true.'

If you read just that exchange, and nothing else, like I did, I think you could safely assume that Martin Short keeps his dead  wife in her wedding dress in a closet in their house. Maybe Kathy Lee Gifford really tripped him up and forced him to answer some uncomfortable questions, and her subsequent apology for asking that question was merely because she felt bad for blowing Shorts' cover. Hey what do you expect from Hollywood. It's the Land of the Weirdo.

Broke Because of Strippers?

 Do you remember the TV show 'Small Wonder' that ran in the mid  80's about that little girl that was a robot or super hero or detective or something? No? I don't either. She had a monotone voice so I think that signified she was a robot, but whatever. Well  the other kid on that show, Jerry Supiran,  is apparently broke now and living under a bridge somewhere....

When I was 18, I dated a stripper and she took what was left of my trust fund - then one of my advisers stole a half-million dollars from me. I've worked at different steakhouses for the last 15 years, but two years ago I was laid off from a restaurant in Henderson, Nevada, due to the economy. I haven't been able to find a job since."... So I either sleep at the homeless shelter I volunteer at, or under a local bridge."

 Poor chump. That sucks. But if you're gonna get involved with strippers you should probably know a few things. First, they only like you for your money, second, they usually won't tell you their real names, and they definitely won't see you outside of the club. Except for Raven. She swears that all that is going to be different for me and it's all because of the flowers I send and the hundreds of dollars I give her for her sick mother every week. Hey ex-wife! Who's stupid now?

I'm Make Some Money!

One of the degenerate retards from Jersey Shore is getting a chance to make still more money off of the brain damaged imbeciles that watch their show....

DelVecchio hopes to re-create the success of Bethenny Frankel's Skinnygirl Cocktails with Remix, a premixed vodka concoction to be marketed as a “pregame” beverage for the club-hopping set. To that end, DelVecchio, 31, has partnered with David Kanbar, co-founder of Skinnygirl, and brought out of retirement Tom Bruno, formerly of Sidney Frank Importing Co., which counts Grey Goose among its top shelf brands.

This really is a no brainer.  They just have to market it the right way. Especially to the kind of knuckle heads that watch these idiots. You just sell one that already comes infused with your favorite date rape drug! 'GHB Explosion' tastes like cherry, and 'Robo Party!' - the one with Roofies - tastes exactly like lemons! How would I know what date rape drugs taste like? Shut up that's how.

A Hennessey? Sounds Classy!

Frog faced idiot Steven Tyler spent $1.1 million dollars on that stupid looking car.

 If you ask me it looks he spent about $1 million too much.

Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler just took delivery of the world's fastest convertible. The Hennessey Venom GT Spyder will accelerate to 200mph in 15.9 seconds, eight seconds faster than a Bugatti Veyron. Tyler was the first person to ask if he could have his without a top.

 Like I always say, if you want to show the world you have class, just make sure you pay too much for something that has the name "Hennessy" on it because that doesn't sound ghetto at all. Hey next time, why not try to buy a Cristal Viper? Or how about one of these?  If Steven wants to spend a million dollars on something maybe he should try buying some of his dignity back.