Nicole Scherzinger Blah Blah Blah

I've written about Nicole Scherzinger a lot, even though her last name is hard to pronounce, and she has zero real talent as far as I can tell, so I write about her mostly because she's supernaturally attractive. If I could have drawn the perfect woman was I was 17,  it would probably have been her. But I have to be honest, this constant need for attention from some of these people is starting to get exhausting. You don't see this kind of nonsense from "real" stars. Just the Kardashian level people. Maybe it's fun and cute for her, but I don't know, these C-Level people need to find something better to do.  Here's the caption for that Instagram post...

'Casual quarantine cleaning and cooking attire whilst listening to @TodrickHall’s new album. Have you seen the video for 'Mask, Gloves, Soap, Scrubs'??'.

What the fuck is that? Is that even English? She's not "quarantined", somebody took that picture. And probably 100 more on top of that. At least. I still look at The Daily Mail for a lot of stories because it's the biggest garbage dump there is, but it's always the same 12 people. And you haven't heard of most of them. Nicole Scherzinger is on that website once a day at least, and if you weren't reading this, would you even know who she was? Elsa Pataky? Vogues Williams?  Eiza Gonzalez?  My guess would be, no, you most likely wouldn't know any of these people. And the C and D-List men are even worse. The men all look exactly the same and are probably about as smart as a bag of doorknobs. I'm the writer of these stories and I don't remember any of these people two seconds after I walk away from my PC.

I need to find new source material if this is going to continue.

Whoopsie

Did you read that part? Did you read any of this stuff? Will you have three months worth of mortgage payments available immediately at the end of 90 days? I bet you won't. What's your monthly mortgage payment? $800 a month? $1500 a month? Will you have $5000 to give the bank immediately on August or September first? No you won't. You know why? You're staying home to save lives that's why. Frankly, I wouldn't care all that much, if you want to live outside that's fine with me, this is the land of the free. But like a drowning swimmer you're going to take me down with you and that my friend, is unacceptable. Have fun eating out of garbage cans for the rest of your life.

Howard Stern is Cutting Edge

Howard Stern hasn't really been in the news all that much for the last five or 10 years, at least as far as I know,  so he wanted to remind you that he's super edgy and urged Trump supporters to all drink disinfectant and drop dead.

'Yeah, and all take disinfectant and all drop dead,' Stern then stated.

People are still calling him a 'shock jock' because they all live in 1986. Full disclosure: I've never liked Howard Stern. It's long been known that his radio "show" has writers. I mean people write for his show as it's broadcast, sure it's probably likely he comes up woth stuff on his own but what choice does he have? They can't put the actual funny people behind the mic, who would Robin Quivers cackle at if that happened? Plus back in the heyday of "Drive Time radio DJs" - say the late 70s thru the mid-90s -  Howard Stern would steal pretty liberally from Chicago DJs like Steve Dahl (there were hundreds of links I just picked one at random),  Johnathon Brandmeier and even Mancow Mueller if you can believe that.

 So for the next few hours people will remember Howard Stern so he can keep paying for wigs, and then they'll just continue on with their lives like they normally do until some other 'celebrity' says something super controversial. I'm waiting on pins and needles.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is Pretty in Pink

Sarah Michelle Gellar dyed her hair pink and it turned her into a totally different person because she looks like someone else now. What I mean is, if you told me that was Sarah Michelle Gellar I wouldn't believe you. She's 43? When did that happen? I mean she looks really, really, good. And the pink hair goes a long way too. She's married to Freddie Prinze Jr. for 17 years? Where the Hell have I been? Everything in this post is everything I know about Sarah Michelle Gellar, and  I have many more questions about the aforementioned Sarah Michelle Gellar and frankly I blame the pink hair because I've never thought about her before. Thank God she isn't wearing polka dots.

Kate Hudson Gets Bawdy

Kate Hudson said she would have "totally" hooked up with Jimmy Fallon if he'd "made a move" 20 years ago. Made a move? Kind of like Fonzie, or maybe Ralph Malph...

 'If you would have actually made a move, I would have totally gone there,' the actress, 41, told her friend of 20 years, who interviewed her remotely as she quarantined in Los Angeles.

I don't know if I'd admit out loud that I would fuck Jimmy Fallon, but she did and on video. Plus it's forever captured on the internet now, so good luck denying that. Oh, and by the way, don't bother trying to click play on that You Tube clip it's a screen grab. I'm not interested in having an animated  Jimmy Fallon on my blog for any reason.

Alice Eve Wants to be Naked

Alice Eve said she has no problem taking off her clothes for movie roles. Initially I said to myself, "Well, that's a good thing because you're a porn star" but it turns out she isn't a porn star, she's a legitimate actress. I have no idea who I keep mixing all of these people up with.

'I don't have any ­aversion to flesh or showing it. I think if you've got flesh then it should be shown  Besides, you limit yourself if you are against all that because it's part of the job really. But it can be a bit weird sometimes.'

 She was in "Star Trek" in 2012 but in what capacity I have no idea. By the looks of it I'd say she was "Underwear Girl Number 1" but I'll never know because I'll never watch it. Remember when that guy from Star Trek got killed by his own car? It seems crazy but shit like that happens all the time. Not to anybody I've ever known,  but I do hear about it now and then, but then again, I don't know anybody that stupid either, so maybe that's the reason none of my friends have had their heads crushed by their own car. While they're driving it. 

Halsy Gets Polked

Well...Here's Halsey again. And there's those polka dots again. I'm sorry don't know what to tell you, it's something I can't fight.